>open cheat engine
>select steam.exe
>get your wallet money value
>change it to 99999
>???
>profit
FRICK THE SYSTEM!
 Nothing Ever Happens Shirt $21.68 |
 Tip Your Landlord Shirt $21.68 |
Nothing Ever Happens Shirt $21.68 |
>open cheat engine. >select steam.exe. >get your wallet money value. >change it to 99999. >??? >profit
>login to bank account
>change your savings to one million dollars
ONE NOTHING WRONG WITH ME
Unironically why won't this work
Because it won't reflect the changes to the server-side database.
>go to cheat engine
>cheat engine the cheat engine so that it DOES change the server-side database
always one step ahead
>delete the cheat engine
>destroy the bank and execute all employees
always one step behind
It's not the success of the method that matters.
It's the IRS you should be worried about.
>Cheat Engine in a couple 00s for the IRS
A little something something for the lads in black.
Millions of people stopped paying taxes to the IRS last year. Theu haven't done shit to anyone. Not even in the news.
It wouldn't exactly be as simple as finding pointers or the memory address representing your bank account.
Because the online database requires very complex confirmation of the refill, you can change numbers on your local client but they will be ignored without that confirmation
It's equivalent to painting new numbers with a pencil over your screen.
Sure, you can now read you've got 100 billions dollars, but if you ask your bank that won't be what they say.
The Federal Reserve are the only people allowed to create money out of thin air
based!
get high on your own supply
seriously why nobody doing this? and why is this illegal?
Ignoring the fact that counterfeiting isn't just a matter of using special paper, you just answered your own question, anon.
People are doing it. It's not as simple as printing it on paper however, as typically counterfeit bills are easy to recognize. If you are caught doing it counterfeiting is a felony with potentially decades spent in prison. It is illegal because most countries have a central bank which controls the money supply. Printing more bills devalues the currency. Yes, it is annoying when a central bank is allowed to do it when we are not, but if everyone could give them a million dollars it would make what the federal reserve did in 2020 look like a small credit card charge.
This. The fed and the central banks would have their standing army (the police) to come and handle you
Look into the federal reserve and central banks.
Literally all banks create money out of thin air
>I put $100 into a bank account
>bank lends that money to you
>now you have $100 to your name, but I also have $100 to my name
>you put your $100 loan into a different bank account
>that bank now lends it to Charlie
>now I have $100, you have $100, and Charlie has $100
This is, in fact, how the federal reserve works. It manipulates the money supply by adjusting interest rates; the more it costs to borrow money, the less likely people are to do it, so the less money gets multiplied by being borrowed from the bank.
it won't when the web gets drm'd
they use vac anticheat and I don't want to lose my skins
First because CE is not able to send alternated packages, it only changes the RAM data on your local machine.
Secondly because there is a long ass chain of verifications so even if you used one of the programs that sends alternated packages it still wouldn't work but you might get v& for hacking.
>bank has backups
>bank has redundant systems in place that will ring alarm bells if anything out of the ordinary like this happens
>bank will go through logs and will sic the cops on you
>banks have israeli ToS that let them do whatever they want at their own discretion (they're immune to liability as long as they took 'reasonable measures' whatever that means, and usually settlements are a slap on the wrist)
>your records won't match the tax man's, instant red flag
you're so stupid it hurts.
>The Federal Reserve are the only people allowed to create money out of thin air
banks create money whenever they hand out loans (interest is literally new money, plus the fractional reserve system lets them multiply it)
>banks create money whenever they hand out loans
And this is why interest is not morally defensible. It's a fabricated implementation of loan motivation. "Why lend out money?....... Well we'll give you back more than we took" *assumed* a infinite money system. It's real 0 IQ shit.
But the money system IS infinite because new money is being printed all the time.
>dude just lend money for free
without interest, you get no loans you doofus.
Why?
>Why?
because no one's... interested, duh
>banks create money whenever they hand out loans (interest is literally new money, plus the fractional reserve system lets them multiply it)
You have no business calling anyone else stupid when you don't even understand basic finance
because you're not israeli.
>glue string on cash
>go to atm
>deposit money
>wait for confirmation
>pull string and get the money back
>infinite money glitch
Why wouldn't this work?
No because the little goblin inside the ATM cuts the sling
Why do you think blown up ATM gets the notes covered in purple paint? Its goblin blood
It used to work and you didn't even need string. One of our genius banks had some grand idea to not check the actual balance before withdrawal when you were abroad. On debit cards.
What ended up happening is that as soon as gypsies figured it out they opened a shitton of bank accounts where they deposited 10€, hippity-hoppity to Germany, withdrawn 5000€ and their total read 0€.
It took months for the idiots to notice.
Can't make this shit up.
>using cheat engine which is detectable
>not using inspect element which is built in browser
lel enjoy prison homosexual
WELL IM NOT PARALYZED
>at red light
>use universal remote
>turn it green
DO YOU HAVE THE TIME
TO LISTEN TO ME WHINE
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR
LET THE BODIES HIT THE...
>open cheat engine
>select steam.exe
>change money value to 9999999
>start spending it
>steam asks where i got the money from
>can't say or else they'll find out
>get my cheat money taken away from me and my account banned
PAIN
WITHOUT LOVE
PAIN
CAN'T GET ENOUGH
What if instead of 999999 we just put like 100 only?
Chuuchuu lovely munimuni muramura
Purin purin boron nururu rerorero
Chuuchuu lovely munimuni muramura
Purin purin boron nururu rerorero
The IRS will tax that
>open amazon
>select any item you want
>inspect element
>set price to $0
lmao the post number, text, and picture made me laugh
There used to be a paypal exploit where you basically did this. Could edit the discount field and apply 99% or whatever and it would go through. Most vendors caught it but moronic chinese gold sellers who wanted fast delivery times wouldn't notice. Stole like 3 grand worth of wow gold from chinks doing this before I got bored.
NIce, Impressive
>losing argument on Ganker
>right click the post that btfo'd me
>inspect element
>"UHM ACTUALLY ANON YOU WERE RIGHT FROM THE START, I CONCEDE"
it's that easy
neat
>australia c**t
you lose by default thoughever
>Go to the bank
>Get money
It's just that easy.
What happens if I put cheat engine in a robot?
>build perfect robot waifu
>install cheat engine onto her
>she cheats on me
Have you ever seen the Terminator movies?
>build an irl cheat engine
>type in "give me one million dollars"
>one million dollars appear
it really works
>die
>God says "you didn't beat life"
>go to hell
>back when Ganker still played Ace of Spades
>learn most player values are all clientside
>open cheat engine
>turn on speed hack
>infinite grenades
>Infinite fire rate/no reload
>mouse macro fire 10 shots per click
That's what you blue bastards get for killing me before I can finish my bunker, and don't even get me started on how you'd totem pole your Intel into the fricking sky
>get hit by a truck
>isekai world
>you are reborn as a baby with all your past memories intact
>open up cheatengine 7.5 and select isekai world process
>scan all bytes
>the world is all 4 bytes
>double click steam
>double click CE
>Steam has detected you are running unauthorized applications
bros.
>go to steam
>invisible mode
>no longer detected
>go to steam
>invisible mode
>PC disappears
>wet paper towel with lemon juice
>rub it on space where computer used to be
>PC reappears
it works on invisible ink, too!
>rub lemon juice on my friends list on steam
>everyone comes online
bros...
good thread
is that you illumination studios luigi??
How am I supposed to know which value type a game uses
I've used this program on and off for years but I'm immediately filtered the instant a game stores its values using anything but 4 bytes
Just select all, you moron?
That takes ten years, how about a less brainlet solution
>years
shit pc detected
The frick are you talking about? If you're looking for the value '16' and it isn't stored in 4 bytes then searching for '16' isn't going to give you the value you're looking for.
Ok can you explain that in english instead of this technical jargon bullshit?
Different types have different sizes. A "uint64_t" for example is an "unsigned integer of 64 bits". 4 bits is 0000 to 1111 or, in decimal, or 0 to 15 (16 possible values). So if you know some variable is only gonna need a small number of possible values, you can store it in a small type. (There are 8 bits in a byte)
I think standard is like... A "short" (int) is like 8 bits. Same with a "char" (character, or "single letter"). A think a bool is the only 1 bit base type? Many libraries implement a "bit" type that is used for memory management or file i/o
If you're just looking at a string of binary though, you could guess at where one variable ends and the next begins by counting bits, but if the process is using weird types or just types of different sizes, this can be difficult/cumbersome
If it's stored in any other type of value, you'll find it. Some engines obfuscate values, a good example is RPGmaker, which takes the value, multiplies it by 2, and adds 1. Obviously you're not going to find 16 there, because you need to search for 33.
the steam store usually lists a game's value though I'd check in USD to be safe
Just try different types. If your value is 0-255 or 0-65535 consider searching 1 or 2 bytes. Also check strings and floats, although I usually find I don't have to.
If you're really stuck, search only using "unknown initial value" and "changed/unchanged value"
If your scan is for a 2 or 4 byte number, consider unchecking fast scan so it searches every address incrementally instead of just 2 or 4 byte intervals (i.e. 1, 2, 3 instead of 4, 8, 12...)
Some games store values differently. For example, some games store numbers one byte per digit (so 12345 might be stored as 01 02 03 04 05 or 01 23 45 in memory). So look for shit like that.
Mostly it's just a lot of trial and error.
There is also game engines which encrypt values. I remember RPG maker engine uses value*2+1 formula or some shit. No idea why they're doing it, people will figure it out pretty fast anyway.
>download 3d file for bugatti veyron
>3d print it
>sell it for 1m
HE WAS A BOY
SHE WAS A GIRL
evil
lost
>open cheat engine
>select OP.exe
>find the number of dicks sucked
>change it from 6 to 9999
>game doesn't calculate dicks sucked in more than 4 digits
>OP can no longer suck any more dicks and kills himself
RULES OF NATURE
>open cheat engine
>select OP.exe
>go and find the value to change his Gayness value to an absurdly high number
>it's already maxed out
Oh ok then
What games do you play on your going into cheat engine machine?
currently?
any single player game that wants me to grind.
Hate to ruin your joke but it's server side not client side.
you think you're fricking clever but you've already been outsmarted
What If im Gabe Newell at Valve Inc.
you moron
that's what they want you to think
>install cheat engine on my car
>car won't start anymore and files for divorce
>open cheat engine
>select self.exe
>find the value for Happiness
>change it from 0 to 9999
>nothing happens
do this in reverse
>set happiness to 0
>proc a small unhappiness event to change happiness by -1
>underflow sets happiness to max
>yfw -1 usually means disabled
>yfw permanent crippling depression with no chance at happiness
There's no value for that, anon. You'd have to mod it in first.
you need sv_cheats to be on
>running out of storage on my pc
>cheat engine on explorer.exe
>increase free space on C drive to 1000000gb
>screen resolution can only go to 1920x1080 with 30fps
>cheat engine on System.exe
>increase resolution to 99999x99999 with 99999fps
>computer can't handle the resolution and framerate
>gpu temperature reaches 80 degrees in under a second and is rapidly rising
>use CE on task manager to change gpu temperature to 40 degrees
>but it keeps rising back up, so i have to keep changing it back to 40
please help
Cheat Engine keeps it a constant value if you check the box
>open cheat engine
>go to fan speed
>increase fan speed to 999999999rpm
>gpu cools down
>open cheat engine
>go to fan speed
>increase fan speed to 999999999rpm
>computer takes off and flies out window
better solution
>check GPU
>NVIDIA GTX 1650
>change it to NVIDIA GTX 9999
>now computer can run anything at 999 fps
>buy lottery ticket
>white out the numbers and write the correct ones in after winning numbers displayed
>profit
Obviously that wouldn't work, dipshit. You can't just alter the value ingame or with inspect element, you have to open the lottery ticket in Cheat Engine and change the value there.
>mom tells me i have to come off the PC
>open cheat engine
>change clock from 21:00 to 19:00
>can keep playing for 2 more hours
you can do that IRL without CE
>want to know more about this simple life hack?
>click here to find out!
>look for a wishing well
>find a couple of bitcoins
>become filthy rich
>hack into one of musk's brain implants
>start mining BTC with their brain
>mining is really slow
>check specs
>he's moronic
>house is cold in winter
>open cheat engine
>change thermostats temperature to 25C
>outside is still cold
>open cheat engine again
>change weather forecast from rain to sun
>condensation on my window
>change humidity to 0%
>have to pay gas an electricity bill
>go to my providers website
>change cost to -$9999999
>they pay me
this but it now makes the npcs unstable
and the weather system was tied into FPS so they run around at super sanic sppeds
>not simply increasing the outside temps
What is wrong with you?
How is changing the OUTSIDE temp going to affect the INSIDE temp you moron holy shit this anon
You open a new window moron
>open real life cheat engine
>look for proton.mass
>change it
I LOVE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT ME
I LOVE THE WAY YOU SMACK MY ASS
I LOVE THE DIRTY THINGS YOU DO
PUDDLE OF MUDDDS
>game with copious amount of backtracking
>open cheatengine
>activate speedhack
>game improves
anyone else do this ?
absolutely
and i'm not afraid to admit it
Whats the uses of unrandomizer?
Weird shit. I've never used it because it sounds too ridiculous to possibly ever work properly.
>Used the unrandomizer on No Mans Sky
>Booted into Every Womans Ground: A handmade Generated Movie
I literally only found a single time this had EVER fricking work whatsoever. It was for stat rolling for an old version of Maplestory which it always gave the lowest possible values.
For cheating speed run world records
You bet your fricking ass I do. And I have hotkeys to set the speed everywhere from 1-10x.
yep. the only way to make sunless sea enjoyable
its great for unskippable cutscenes or slow shitty segments, especially end credits that can't be skipped.
>tfw played Omori with x5 speed
i did this for the coal steam machine (idr the name exactly) in MHW
I do this in absolutely every game that does this bullshit, frick those Black folk
>install cheat engine on refridgerator
>it starts running
>can't catch it
>enable speedhack
>it runs even faster
>acquire coupon for free pizza from Ganker
>order pizza
>input the coupon code
>get free pizza
Devilish.
This is a thread for jokes, not actual crimes you demon.
you don't even need cheat engine sometimes
>chocolate won't fit in my lunchbox
>do this in reverse a few times to compact it
>need to build a skyscraper
>build two stories
>do this in reverse
>build tallest building in the world
gaben don't look!!!!
>try to cheat roguelite by alt-f4'ing out of a failed outcome and relaunching the game
>"It is entirely up to you if you play by the rules of the game, or try to bypass them."
Yes I've heard that line a billion times, no I don't feel bad. Frick the dice minigame
>Open cheat engine
>Change all money values to 0
>No one can borrow because absolutely no one has any
>Go back to barter system
>mfw I just bought salt and other spices
I'm RICH
>mfw I just bought a ton of ammo
no, I'm rich
>mfw parents named me Richard
No, I'm Rich.
OK DICK
>game has anticheat
>send it to the recycling bin
I DID MY TIME AND I WANT OUT
Bless the people who make trainers for games that most people wouldn't give enough of a frick to even play much less to cheat on.
What are you even using a trainer for in HM? Max Abi + moveset takes like 2 hours at worst or something and you can do 7-8 Digimon at once.
2 hours too many for what is essentially a glorified moviegame featuring digimon
For DBZ:HM as stupid as it may sound given it is literally the whole game is to skip all of the QTE stuff. I am unironically interested in the story as fanfic as it may be using characters and making decks for one of the most casual deck building games I had ever seen. Sometimes it just fun to watch a lot of shit all happen at once and the other team just drop dead. It my brain turn off type of game.
As for Digimon it is mostly for movement speed and to bypass the digimon requirements for the field skills you can use. Like I don't find having set digimons on my standby just for unlocking gates a challenge and choose to skip that. I also have a mod to speedup/skip text. Digimon CS is easily one of the best 7/10 game I had play but that doesn't mean I want to deal with the shit that drag the score down in the first place.
>bypass the digimon requirements for the field skills you can use
Damn I didn't actually think about doing something like that, fair point. Map traversal is also really slow and that feels bad outside of a few select areas. I was fixated on just changing values.
>The next day,
>FBI OPEN UP!
>Open cheat engine
>Select FBI.exe
>Change suspicion and hostility to 0
>FBI leave
Hehe...
>anon cheats the FBI's wanted level down
>suddenly the thread slows down
Curious...
>Messing around with cheat engine, doing crimes
>Accidentally deletes itself
Fellow hackers, does anyone have a spare copy of Cheat Engine lying around? Could really use one right about now...
I don't but the last time I acquired it..well it was an adventure.
glad I VM'd it.
freedownloads.com/hacktools/dolphinporn
remember to type in the password you hacked for cheat engine or you'll get a 404
No getting cheat engine it's a IQ test of itself because you need to compile it yourself.
>Look inside fridge
>Open egg carton
>Just one left
>Open cheat engine
>Set value to 99999999
>Forget to close fridge
>Two second stutter before whole house fills with eggs
NOW THIS IS WHAT IT'S LIKE
WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE
I PUSH MY FINGERS INTO MY
SISTER
>bit hot today me thinks
>Browse to weather.com
>Open cheat engine
>99 degrees? Let's make it a cool 69
>accidentally frick up and make it -169
>everything freezes
>open dota2.exe
>open cheatengine.exe
>get VAC banned
oops
>forget cheat.exe is running
>open dota2.exe
>get VAC banned
ftfy
There's some tedious old games I wanna play with CE speedhack, but I'm also a CS2 tryhard. It's tough. I don't even risk it.
not long ago, people got mass banned for having it on their PCs. I think it was guild wars 1 or 2 that was spying. the salt was great.
I was using cheat engine to set my XP in some fallout 1/2 loveletter, atomic RPG I think it was called.
Forgot all about CE, decided to play some CSGO later that day.
Got into a match, and about a second later I was booted, and “soft banned”. I didn’t have a VAC ban on my profile yet, and I wasn’t able to join VAC secured servers.
24 hours later, the soft ban was lifted, and I learned to be more careful.
If you got VAC’d, it’s because you cheated, and there is no excuse.
That makes a lot of sense, anon. It's what CS Trusted Mode is for, but I won't risk it, because they could be dumb about it.
Happened to me in Warframe, at least I assume it was the case, but of course those fricks didn't want to tell me what triggered the ban.
Anyway, even fricking WoW warned you that this shit was still running when you launched the game which was pretty nice for those cases where you actually forgot.
>playing dota 2
>leave to use bathroom
>older brother opens cheat.exe on my computer
>get VAC banned
>come back, see VAC ban
>tell steam forums that it was my brother using cheat.exe not me
>even get dad to confirm
>nobody believes me
t. the dad
don't speedhack bros. I accidentally set it to 30 instead of 3 and aged 70 years before i could turn it off again
>open cheat engine
>change "had sex" to 1
Later virgins
>sex partner count still reads 0
You're not fooling anyone, buddy.
>willingly and knowingly losing access to the wizard class
why?
>it actually works
What the frick?
>open CE
>[Your acc is banned, perma ban]
>Single player game
>Game stolen
Thanks Capcom very cool
>Capcom
OY VEY STOP DEVLUING PUBLIC MORALS, GOY