>open game for first time. >achievement unlocked: Welcome to (GAME)

>open game for first time
>achievement unlocked: Welcome to (GAME)

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  1. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >close game for the first time
    >achievement unlocked: i can change

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Name 112 games that do this.

  2. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >achievement unocked: Don't play the game for 5 years

  3. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >complete first mission
    >achievement
    >90% of players have this achievement

  4. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >fight with a giant
    >achievement unlocked: "the bigger they are..."

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      people dont pass out of asphyxiation within 5 seconds right
      thats gotta be fake

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        this isn't asphyxiation, this is cutting off the coratid artery

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          So she dead?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        This

        this isn't asphyxiation, this is cutting off the coratid artery

        There's neither blood nor a knife

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          ESL? cutting off can also mean to stop the passage of something, in this case, oxygen to the brain.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >There's neither blood nor a knife
          you absolute esl gluesucker, alright. you get the moronic special needs child version.
          "cutting off" is a figure of speech describing interruption of a line transporting a medium. you understand that? yeah?
          "cutting off" as in "cutting off the blood flow (the medium, moron) to the brain by pressing down on the coratid artery (the line. you understand? that transports the blood?)"
          now since you're dumb enough to need it, here's a little biology lesson on how the brain works:
          it needs oxygen.
          without oxygen it shuts down fast.
          when the blood flow is constricted, the brain becomes oxygen starved.
          and since i can already smell you unga-bungaing something about holding your breath for longer than 5 seconds, guess fricking what, you hold your breath, your lungs are still working on the air in them, filtering more oxygen out.
          but guess what, grug:
          when the fuel line is clamped shut, the lungs can work all they want, it's not getting to the brain.
          you remember the brain, right? that thing that needs a constant, uninterrupted supply of oxygen in order to not switch off, yeah?
          get all that, moron?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      polish schools are literally just miniature copies of detroit

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        why do slavs act like Black folks?

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          for some reason hood culture, rap culture and "frick the police" are very common things in slav countries

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Honestly that's understandable when the police is the fricking KGB

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          around slavs, never relax

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      call me a boomer, but i swear kids are getting bloodthirstier

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I'd grab her booba
      Because she is asleep

  5. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >kill character in unique way
    >achievement unlocked
    >2.8% players have this achievement

  6. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >achievement unlocked: poison the homeless guy and steal his change

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous
  7. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >achievement: play on the same server as the developer!
    >developer hasn't played the game since 2010

  8. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >die to X 5 times

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >achievement - do [obscure, tedious task] 150 times
      >it's the last achievement you have left for 100%

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        The Yakuza 100% completion list is this cranked up to 9000

  9. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >meet the love interest first time
    >achievement unlocked: Pervert

  10. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Am I the only one that dislike achievements? Feels like they contribute nothing to a game, and some devs use them to artificially inflate a game's playtime by making the player chase worthless collectibles or tedious tasks.
    Even as a means of rewarding the player or encouranging then to do something, I feel like an in-game reward would be more welcomed.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I agree when it comes to achievements that are like
      >Complete ____ X times
      Or
      >Finish ____ with 100% (worse when a game has collectibles)

      But games with achievements that are unlocked by discovering a whole new level/map is always pretty cool imo

  11. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >game has no "automatic" achievements
    >not even for finishing the game
    >you can literally go an entire playthrough without getting a single achievement making it look like you didn't even play the game

  12. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >do stupid fricking thing for no reason
    >get an achievement for it

    another reason why i love deep rock galactic

  13. 2 years ago
    The Part Where He Kills You

    >Chapter Name: The Part Where He Kills You
    >Ally: "Well, this is the part where he kills us."
    >Enemy: "This is the part where I kill you!"
    >Achievement Unlocked: The Part Where He Kills You (This is that part)

  14. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    That's for the sake of telemetry. A lot of people buy games, but never play them.

  15. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >close to achievement
    >unlock time for the game
    welcome to first (place in life)

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      woah man

  16. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Pass speech check
    >achievement unlocked: "You can walk the walk but can you..."

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Sweet, new doujin artist.
      Thanks anon

  17. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Open Game Achievement
    >80% of players have this
    >Complete Tutorial Achievement
    >20% of players have this

  18. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >beat first boss achievement
    >87% of players have this
    >beat second boss achievement
    >81% of players have this
    >beat third boss achievement
    >23% of players have this

  19. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >players who earned this achievement
    >73.6%

    Looking at you, Jet Set Radio

  20. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >called achievements
    >none of them are actually difficult and just a checklist that you get for beating the game

  21. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >1 hidden achievement
    >Look it up
    >Requires you to do multiple, tedious things
    >Require you to pay excruciating attention to detail to ensure you don't frick it up
    >Literally no way you could have figured it out without looking it up

  22. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >pause game for the first time
    >achievement unlocked: Yep, Thats Me

  23. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Negative achievements like
    >"Die 100 Times"
    are so incredibly fricking gay.

    Back in the late 2000's I was a QA tester checking for Microsoft certification failures and I clearly remember the updated rules from MS saying no more of the negative achievement shit, yet people still put them in their games to this day.

  24. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >one achievement for dying to a random specific thing
    >obviously it's not difficult to get it if you're trying, but it's genuinely easily possible on the hardest difficulty for even a shitter to never get it
    >also kind of a mark of shame since it's for dying
    >last chievo left before 100%
    Shit, I'd say it's my dignity on the line but that's true for any 100%

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