Putting aside that the Emperor actually wanted the Primarchs to rebel so he could dispose of them why didn't the Big E make matching sets of male and female primarchs, alternating 1:1 male:female, so he could arrange for them to be married and pair bonded with a complementary personality and therefore ensure they would be more stable and less maladjusted?
Plus one guy (or girl) would have got to marry twins with Alpharius and I'm sure that would have been swell for them. Just seems like husband and wife primarchs would have worked out better for everyone. If Horus had had a loving understanding Sanguinius wife I'm sure he would have been less inclined to rebel.
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Oh boy is this the new troonyarch thread?
Only if you take OP's shitty bait.
>troonyarch
What does this mean?
troony primarchs
You would only create more conflict in who will be the wife and husband. Some pairs are clear, like Leman and Magnus, but people would be arguing whether nerdy boy Magnus should get fierce and rowdy tomboy Lewoman, or if Leman and big nerdy gf make better couple. And with the couples that aren't that obvious you would get a lot of hate from the unlucky primarchs that were set with abusive husband/wife Angron or aromatic Mortarion.
If anything, it would be extremely straight and heterosexual (and incestuous) to have your sons and daughters marry.
>trooning out half your sons and calling them daughters
>not peak pedogroomer
>like Leman and Magnus
You mean Leman (wife) and the Lion (husband).
I dunno, ask /hhg/
Which femarch do you think has the largest ladywiener and what do you think each of their smegma tastes like? I bet Vulkana's has a smoky, spicy after taste, like smoked ghost pepper gouda.
Third one in the middle row looks like he fricks elves.
You'd be wrong, they're all getting their pert femboy bussies blown out by bug smelly ork KAWK
I'll actually engage with this seriously and say that marrying the Primarchs might have helped significantly with the emotional problems they had, as well as a provision for succession (as opposed to a fractious regency under the Lords of Terra when all the Primarchs were gone for a time). Of course, this is assuming he ever wanted to leave the Imperium to his sons and their progeny to begin with.
>I'll actually engage with this seriously
Lmao u r big gay. I bet you suck stinky horsewieners, gayboy.
Can primarchs even have kids?
All primarchs have an asswomb capable of carrying 3-25 baby marines to term.
imagine the divorces
I can fix konnie.
Luter is the only man who can please Lion.
Lion is a pedophile tho. Dude had a 10,000 year long sleepover party with a bunch of little choir boys.
because he was a victim of Luther when he was a child.
I don't care about your shitty incest fanfic, I would Lorgar and wouldn't care to fix her.
For me it's Maggie the Red.
Patrician taste
I love how you can see xir bulge in the loincloth.
Stop posting weird futa shit thanks.
Samegay
troonyfricker.
I want to fix Konnie. Make her just absolutely addicted to holding hands and cuddles and pet her head and call her a good girl whenever she does a good deed.
I bet she has a masochistic wiener and can only get hard after getting kicked in the balls
>Putting aside that the Emperor actually wanted the Primarchs to rebel so he could dispose of them
No he didn't.
this coloration job leaves something to be desired
>Only 2(3) left to go
Imagine the smell
I bet her dickcheese is the stinkiest of the lot~
Because whether or not big E expected Primarchs and Astartes to rebel he clearly made preparations for that possibility.
That, for example, is why Custodes are way more powerful than a space marine and are essentially made to kill Astartes.
If big E had completely trusted Primarchs and Astartes his bodyguards would just be Astartes and he wouldn't keep secrets from his Primarchs, the idea of treason (or at least going against his will) was always on his mind.
With that in mind giving Primarchs the ability to make more Primarchs means yet more demi-gods you need to keep a tight leash on, and that's stupid.
>Alpharius and Omegron
Gaslight central I assume. I don't actually know much about how they were pre-heresy but the memes sort of write themselves
>Perturbo
There's no helping her. She wants to be mad.
>Angron
You gotta fix/prevent the nails. That's really the long and short of it.
>Lorgar
Might actually be salvageable if she's got something to latch onto besides Big E. A spouse she dearly cares about might arrest her worst tendencies (or make then worse)
I don't know enough about the other traitor primarchs to comment further. Vulkan probably makes an S-tier waifu/husbando when he isn't sperging about Eldar like he got lost on his way to the /misc/ meetup.
>Perturbo
>There's no helping her. She wants to be mad
I can fix her.
I just want to listen to Lucid Dementia with FemCorvus, while smoking pot.
Why is the universe against me?
I want Petra to domme me.
Odds are boys evens are girls. That way Lion and Femgrim and be the best power couple. No one could beat the first and second legion if they were married.
Yeah but the girls have the bigger wieners so Liam is a power bottom
He's gay so doesn't matter. Femgrims futa wiener pounding his bussy while they switch and Lion unloads deep inside impregnating Femgrim with a superior Childmarch
Nah, he couldn't possibly get it up in a pussy or for a woman at all, Lion's both gay and a pedophile. He's just her dedicated balldraining semen toilet and nothing else.
That's why Femgrim needs to have the wiener. It would keep him hard staring at it
which one of them would be most susceptible to being mating pressed?