>rather have a buffalo take a diarrhea dump on his head or eat rotten skunk butthole than play vidya
based scatchad james
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 CRIME Shirt $21.68 |
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>rather have a buffalo take a diarrhea dump on his head or eat rotten skunk butthole than play vidya
>rather have a buffalo take a diarrhea dump on his head or eat rotten skunk butthole than play vidya
based scatchad james
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CRIME Shirt $21.68 |
|
TO PLAGARIZE A SCRIPT FROM HIS ASS
qrd?
James has no time to write his own reviews but the slobs who are supposed to do it for him also have no time, so instead they copied someone's review from like 10 years ago.
James used to say the monster madness videos were all him and he’d never let anyone else touch them cause they’re his baby. Turns out 3 of the first 4 MM videos were heavily plagiarized off old reviews online and he quickly said he didn’t write them cuz he has “no time” for anything despite doing frick all.
either he’s lying about other people writing them to not get called a plagiarist or he can’t even bother to “write” 3 minute reviews about his so-called favourite films
it's a tale as old as time
>man gets popular off the work of others through the use of a new medium, in this case early youtube
>years later said man's secrets come out to the public, well after his heyday, to rub salt in the festering wound that was once his prime
r*dditors
He'd rather have a Buffalo ram his giant fricking wiener in his rear
his "humor" is childish and unfunny
shitty frickin' dicks, dood!
DSP is a fricking homosexual too
he needs your support. he has bills to pay and a family to take care of. do your part
but he's just trying to eek out an honest living, guilt-tripping invalids and morons out of their disability checks. he's barely making ends meet, what with breakfast alone costing him $50!
It blew my fricking mind finding out that he hadn't been putting every penny he could into owning his house. I always thought it was moronic when people said he was just pissing it all away on gacha. It really makes how he talks about his parents health being super creepy now.
You sound like a israelite. Talk about invalid.
He's based and his haters can't stop losing.
Unironically funnier than James.
Oh yeah, Phil is hilarious. You can't write the shit he says, he's in that goldilocks zone of moron and capable.
Jealous
AREEESS AREEEEES AREEEEEEESSSS IM COMIN FOR YOU AREEEEEES
Leonidas...!
HE'D RATHER FLUFF
HIS WIFE'S BLACK BULL
AND WATCH HIM PLOW HER IN 'ER WHITE REAR
HE'D RATHER STEAL
AN ANCIENT SCRIPT
HE'S GONNA TAKE YOU BACK TO THE PAST
TO LET YOU FRICK HIS WIFE IN THE ASS
HE'S THE EXPRESS VPN NERD
HE'S THE NO TIME NERD
>James hosts another gaming session with screenwave
>The blobs waddle into the room
>One sits next to him
>Makes a horribly loud wed fart that reverberates through the room
>Another sits
>Farts so loud it sounds like the foghorn from War of the Worlds
>Third sits down
>Does a tiny high pitched toot that cracks James' glasses
>They reach down to pick up their controllers
>Can't push past the fat of their own stomaches
>James has to get up and hand them the controllers
>Their fat then takes over the couch and James can't sit anymore
>James has to sit on one of their laps
>Hears his stomach gurgling, smells everything he ate in the last week in his breath, and can feel his ass warming from the silent farts he's putting out escaping through his crotch
>One of them stops playing and just dies
>The guy James is sitting on wiggles around a bit
>Waves of fat slap into James' thighs
>Finally he begins grunting and groaning
>Lets out the loudest fart you could ever hear
>Liquid shit begins dripping down his pants onto the floor
>"What a *wheeze* shitload of *deep breath* frick"
>Other fats begin laughing and breathing heavier
>The poop begins to melt through the floor like it's alien blood
>James tries to focus on the game
>One tries to roll over and talk to James in his ear
>Rolls too close and lets out a belch directly in James' face
>"Dude do *heavy breath* you have a *another breath* ny snacks?"
>James does not because his wife is proud and independent and refuses to supply his family with food
>He rolls back and raises his legs as he violently shits himself, causing shit to rocket at the TV screen
>"Wha *heavy breath* a shitload *Wheezing* of frick!"
>They begin laughing again
>James reaches down to grab a rolling rock
>As he moves his ass, the fat guy he's sitting on pops a boner
>It's underneath his fat rolls so James doesn't feel it
>James tries to open it
>His thin arms are unable to twist the bottle cap
>One of them reaches out, sweating as he lifts his arms and offers to try
>He grabs the bottle and needs to take a few minutes to catch his breath
>Finally he grabs onto the cap and begins twisting
>Grunting, groaning, sweating, and burping, he struggles to move the cap
>The couch becomes soaking wet in a mix of his liquid shit and crotch sweat
>Finally he manages to twist the cap
>As the cap releases, so does he, letting out a gallon of pure liquid shit
>Hands the bottle back to James after nearly collapsing on himself after the workout
>The fat guy James is sitting on wants a drink
>Reaches up and accidentally knocks the bottle out of James' hand
>It falls onto the floor and spills in the rug, mixing with the shit
>The fat guy belches in the back of James head and reads a note on his hand that was a funny line he had been saving for the video
>"What a *deep breath* shitload *BRAAAAAAAAP* of frick!"
>The others start laughing at James stares into the void
>At the end of the gaming session, the fats struggle to stand and begin waddling out of the room
>One of them remembers the funny line he said and begins laughing and farting
>The dead fat had begun to rapidly decompose and is already on the bloating stage
>James stands up, bare feet drenched in shit and beer
>He turns off the camera and takes it over to the computer to edit the footage
>Silently, he hums the AVGN theme thinking about Motherfrickin' Mike and the early days of the series
>He thinks about the time he fought the Nostalgia Critic and how that was the most hype battle on the internet
>He knows things aren't any better for him either
>When the editing is done, he uploads the video to Youtube
>The day is over and his partners at Screenwave will be back tomorrow to help film some more epic AVGN content
made my stomach hurt from laughing. thanks, anon.
I wish he’d just end AVGN at Episode 200, but it’s clear that won’t happen. I would have been much happier if we only got a couple of new episodes a year for the past few.
James has to come forward about his day job.
I understand hes kept it out of mention for so long because people could interfere but after years of "ive got no time" with nothing to show for it and his hired goons also just not doing a good job, if he wants his fans to accept his confessions he should be up front, but if he doesnr want to do that,
Dont lie.
Frick Slobwave.
Name your top 10 AVGN episodes
For me its
1. Spiderman
2. Bible Games
3. SegaCD/32X
4. Texas Chainsaw Massacre
5. Doublevision
6. Atari 5200
7. Atari Jaguar
8. Dick Tracey
9. Action 52
10. Rocky
Good list
No Nintendo Power?
Great episode, just not in my personal top 10. I'm gonna rewatch the first 100 episodes soon anyway so maybe my opinion will change, thank god for the google doc
Bible Games had me dying more than any other episode first time I watched it
Fricking squirrels knocking themselves out and climbing the sky
Agreed on all but Rocky, I'd replace it with Plumbers don't wear ties.
Really, a lot of the first 10-20 3minute long reviews are underwhelming compared to his "2nd season" that started around the 5200 and SEGA CD eps.
The Rocky review is 10 minutes, it also came out before Rocky 6 came out so its a massive nostalgia hit to watch
>Missing literally the best episode
Yes
He'd rather eat the rotten wienerhole of a diseased Black person then down it with tears
Notice how when you make a blatant AVGN thread with his face in the OP you get a thread filled with celebrity-obsessed Gankeredditors
While if you try to be the least bit subtle and use an OP image secondaries wouldn't recognize you get a civil on-topic thread
Many such cases
This dumb safari shirt is awful.