Satan appears in your dreams and offers you a deal. You can have a beautiful, affectionate woman to marry and spend the rest of your life with, under the condition that you can never play video games again.
What do you do?
Satan appears in your dreams and offers you a deal.
no way gay
Yeah thats fine, I‘ll just play cards or something, maybe finally get more into fitness or reading.
>Satan
Miss with that shit, christsoi.
I wouldn't sign it, not because I like video games or something, but because I know this motherfricker will try frick me over in one way or another.
No woman worth it.
Why would I trade videogame for a dogfricker? You think i'm dumb?
If it wasn't satan, frick yes.
But it's satan so it will frick me over in someway, so no way.
Come back after elden ring dlc and we'll talk
It's literally always a bad deal and empty promises.
Why wouldn anyone not just ignore the fricker?
No thanks. Any sort of deal that requires me to give something up forever should have a reward that I cannot get anywhere else. Even if it's very unlikely, anyone can always find a woman like that.
What will happen if sign and play a videogame anyways?
Will i die immediatly or what
Eternity of anal rape.
I tell him to go to Hell! hahaha
>didn't include loyal
>thinking i would overlook this
Not falling for your shit satan, not giving up video games to be a cuck
Tell him that's a garbage deal and tell him to come back when he respects me enough to make a real deal.
Does buying, sitting half an hour in menue, lazy clicking around """gameplay""" for one hour and never opening the game again counts as playing?
I already have her vros, don't fall into temptation, keep your faith
I HATE VIDEOGAMES, but I HATE HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS MORE
have a nice day, SATAN
>ask to be always in top100 artists in the world
>no videogames
sign me up homosexual
whatcha drawing anon?
porn(very shitty)
NTA but pregnancy fetish art
Just use Stable Diffusion and you can still play your favorite games, anon.
Drawing is more fun than vidya.
>Satan appears in your dreams and offers you a deal.
Wow it's just like real life!
>implying I play video games
Easiest deal of my life.
Don't want her, frick off Satan.
Women can't be taken seriously or trusted, I have no fricking clue why you would want one over something you can actually enjoy in peace.
With women there is no peace.
>why you would want one over something you can actually enjoy in peace
cause I don't enjoy anything and am hoping females would bring upon some.
Never. Not once.
Eh why not
Even if its a dodgy deal it cant make my life any worse
Ask to see the manager.
If I just say that I'm engaging in interactive entertainment, not playing "video games" then maybe I can have both and Satan can get fricked.
I beat and rape Satan of course.
Kick hin in the balls over and over.
Jesus Christ is the savior.
>implying anyone on Ganker plays video games anyway.
Everyone except the kotaku pedo troons does
>sign contract
>wife starts fricking everyone else on the planet, running up my debts, constantly trying to kill me
>satan's twist still hasn't come into play yet
I've read ghost rider and watched twilightzone, no thank you.
i mean this happens already
i'm almost 40 and most of my friends arent allowed to play vidya anymore cuz they're married
I met a guy recently who's 40+. He's good at Fighting games, and enjoys playing a bunch of shit even if he's not that good (DRG, GTFO, little games...).
He's with a girl that loves him for decades. She let him go with double girls at some point. They look like they're in love, but there's something that, against my will, disgusts me in that. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy their company, and the girl is great. But the dude let himself go. He's watches trash movies just to mock them (but contributes to them then), like the last LoTR serie. He watches all marvels I think. He's getting fat and he knows it. And while a part of him (like when I met him) is masculine and fierce, a huge part of him is like a kid torn between social presentation and his profound genetic predisposition of being a male.
I'm almost 10 years younger, and it's a bit weird having this guy sometimes sounding immature in my perspective, and sometimes being pedant despite that. But he has his girl, his money, they won't have kids, no reason to change.
But I wish him the best, he been important in my life (his wife even more).
I’m only playing videogames because I have nothing better to do
I’d take the deal
>beautiful, affectionate
Being pretty and liking me are nowhere near enough. The former helps, the latter is necessary, but it's so fricking not enough.
We desperately need to have things in common. Not just interests, but goals, habits, wants out of life. I'd rather die than have kids, would she rather die if she couldn't?
We also dramatically need to be compatible sexually, in terms of sizes, preferences, and libido. I don't want to have to beg for sex.
I also need her to be mature, capable of not just functioning as an adult, but level headed, able to take pain, loss, and discomfort in stride, and to be able to handle her emotions.
I also NEED her to not be insane. No bipolar, no schizophrenia, no paranoia, fricking none of it. Only the terminally moronic think crazies are a good idea in general or better in bed than an attentive active lover.
I'd also like her to have her own job, I don't want the snag to be living in a gutter.
Nah, I don’t like that deal.
I would rather trade my ability to feel pleasure from sex + my fertility for more time to play video games though, but obviously satan isn’t gonna give me a deal that good.
im gay
How's that Dark Souls 3 playthrough going?
Any satanic deals by definition are bad. Reject.
>1 week later
>Get into horrible car wreck that cripples me and gives me unending pain for the rest of my life while the woman is by
Nice try Satan I know how this shit goes
The problem with the deal isn't no vidya, it's the guy making the deal. If it's the devil there's sure to be a catch. My guess is this beautiful affectionate woman treats you and the several hundred men she's fricking really well. Satan would smirk and say there was nothing in the contract preventing this beauty from loving other men. So it's a no deal from me.
No, what the frick
If satan is real it means there's a good chance the rest of the bible shit is real too
I'm becoming a Christian or whatever
>implying you're not already damned and going to hell regardless
Well, proof would be nice.
>under the condition that you can never play video games again.
how will i live without Black personisraelite propaganda "games"
Do people have dreams where you have stuff that seems normal happen like that, where you talk to someone and are able to make decisions
That seems weird to me
The last dream I remember having was last week where it was following this group of teens/kids like some stranger things-esque mystery, finding out the cause of a bunch of mysterious deaths
Only it turned out that it was an accident involving a chemical that makes people melt & explode, and the agency that had the accident was hiring people to kill witnesses using the same chemical that made you explode
But they were incompetent, and kept killing more people accidentally or each other in spills & friendly fire accidents
And all the 'protagonists' of the mystery got exploded
And then it happened that so much of the chemical had been used to try and clean up this ever expanding group of witnesses that it got into the water table so basically everyone ended up melting/exploding
Except for like one guy and four girls from touhou who survived somehow until the water was clean again
But then they made an underground bunker and transformed themselves into like the boss monsters from Doom 1 (the cyberdemon, spider mastermind, etc)
And then the last part of the dream was me watching pixel art CCTV feeds as they all got killed by the Doom guy
>You can have a beautiful, affectionate woman to marry and spend the rest of your life with
the only reason not to accept it is that it's worded too vaguely
it doesnt mention having sex and you might just die immediately
>watch let’s play videos instead
Get fricked
tell him frick off all i need is my God if a woman is in Gods plan for me then so be it back to the pitt morningstar
He's fricking SATAN, dude, b***h probably is going to give me AIDS or go full yandere psycho.
I don’t want a beautiful wife. I would however like 30 million USD to make my dream video game.
Hell no. If I wanted that I could just try and get it.
The only way I'd even consider it is if he could make it so she's capable of fulfilling my physically impossible fetish and could swell up and explode without dying or harming anyone. Even then I'd probably still say no.
Pass. He's not being upfront, he didn't specify that she wouldn't cheat on me, just that I'd spend the rest of my life with her.
Moreover, if I did take the deal I would just cheat him and get a job playtesting games. That's work.
>w*man
>m*rriage
Frick off Satan. Make it a werewolf (male) and unconditional love (without israeli rituals) and MAYBE I'll agree.
The woman's a troony, isn't it?
Or she's crazy so "the rest of my life" will be short.
My dream my rules, I rape Satan.
No deal, homie.
I have literally no guarantee that this woman will be with me till the end of my days, she could leave me a week into a relationship for all I know. I mean, my last relationship was with a beautiful, affectionate woman and it lasted 8 years before she got bored of me and left me, I'm not signing this shit, women are too fickle and cold towards men for a "affectionate" woman to be that way forever. Go frick yourself, Satan. I know a raw deal when I see one.
Take the 8.5ft tall anthro wolf wife