Screw space marine 2. Give me a ze-no game.
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Screw space marine 2. Give me a ze-no game.
Screw space marine 2. Give me a ze-no game.
Nothing Ever Happens Shirt $21.68 |
Tip Your Landlord Shirt $21.68 |
Nothing Ever Happens Shirt $21.68 |
Space Marine wank ruined 40k
It's been marine wank for like, 30 years now
>age of shitmar
>primaris
>primarchs coming back
It's at a whole new level nowadays. Only thing to do is retreat to homebrew rules and gatekeeping.
Marines being the flagship for the IP is fine, no one with a functional brain minds if some people pay the moron tax so the rest of us can enjoy things. The problem is that marine shit has become such a central focus that it's become actively detrimental to everything else.
All the time in resources that get pushed into giving marine babies their third refresh in as many years, their quarterly lieutenant release, their monthly Primarch wank, or their precedent destroying new lore, are time and resources not spent fleshing out or refreshing other factions that desperately need it. Right now, the split is like 85-15, when it should be 50-50 Or 60-40.
I play dark eldar, so I'll use them as an example. Right now, they're stuck in a self-perpetuating cycle - they don't sell because GW ignores them. In the last decade, we've lost more models then we've gained, and the last new thing we got was an overpriced upgrade sprue for kabalite warriors. Near 1/3 of the roster for the faction is just not accessible and a solid chunk of that is shit resin.
And before some ape says "xenos don't sell", the necron, and now nids, recent updates blow that right the frick out of the water. Xenos don't sell EXPLICITLY because GW ignores them for massive spans of time.
30k ruined 40k.
It should have always stayed a semi forgotten clusterfrick history instead of actually explored and continuously made more silly with perpetual primarch mothers and the emperor being a giga moron.
They had a tau game, it was alright on it's own but it wasn't great as a tau game since the weapons weren't all that accurate and you couldn't even aim down their sights, also on modern systems you can't really get the full plot because half of it is given in loading screens that flash by too fast, even modernish hard drives are too fast SSDs must not even give you time to process that there is text there.
I want a Lictor assassin game
Also I don't think tau females have breasts
>Also I don't think tau females have breasts
That's because they never show them
It was pretty weak though. A good Tau game where you play as a jetpacking crisis suit commander would be extremely kino
>hitman but you're a xenomorph
>no disguises but killing npcs allows you to gain their memories to gain information
I think the really interesting thing about a lictor game would be in how you stealthily navigate a world built for beings so much shorter than you, a lictor is an average of 2.4 meters tall apparently, although they could play around with that and make you an undersized lictor if it helps the gameplay, still taller than your enemies but to not so much of an extreme
One game is all you need. Now wheres the 40k game about this specific space marine chapter that's totally different from other space marine chapters and will totally be noticable in gameplay? And not the primaris because if I play a primaris in a video game it'll completely ruin the experience for me. That's what 40k is truly missing.
A WH40K FPS -should- have you play as a Primaris. The NPCs who explain gameplay mechanics should be OG veterans while you, the fresh blood yet to cut their teeth, have to learn how to “fight” (play). It’s nonsensical for a veteran of almost a thousand wars to need to learn how to point and shoot effectively. A Primaris who innately understands theory, but not practice, is intuitive to the setting. More than that, if a story matters, a Primaris Lamenter would be able to experience, in real time, just how absolutely cursed the 41st millennium is.
god, I fricking hate how pedantic 40kgays are about the lore, the best games are the ones that are flexible with the lore, and it's why Fantasy games have more good games, does it make sense for five guys to slaughter hordes of skaven, beastmen, and take down champions when those guys can take down entire armies? frick no, but guess what, who cares? the game is fricking fun, Darktide isn't as good, but it would be hell of a lot worse if you exclusively fought cultists and nurgle zombies, and it would be better if you could fight a space marine or two, lore be fricking damned
Blueberry creampies.
That game was horrible, not merely "alright".
>Also I don't think tau females have breasts
Look, all i have is third-hand information based on shitposters and coomers but i can say with absolute certainty that Tau females have massive breasts and they crave human wiener
>he fell for the Tau propaganda
this is what female Tau actually look like
But isn't Shadowsun kinda old already?
They have to freeze her in stasis all the time so she doesn't bite the dust.
Show me a young T'au
>he fell for the Human propaganda
this is what female Human actually look like
Total GILF
well yeah she is like 500 years old
>well yeah she is like 500 years old
not an excuse, this is what humans look like at 40,000 years old
you choice of example is very targeted.
>believing in imperial slanderous propaganda
i stand with farsight!
>tfw no seductive Water Caste gf
That's because shadowsun is of the fire caste. I doubt they designed their warrior caste with attractiveness in mind.
Water caste female taus are probably hot
I barely know anything of the lore, but how hard would be making a RPG about having to get things in a neutral/forgotten planet before the other factions and having that humans can be warriors/rogues/wizards/clerics, while Taus are samurais/ninjas/taoists/shintoists and chaos humans are dark knights/assassins/necromancers racing to get the relic.
So you can make your char, and your party and have them do the dungeons and fight what would be your other faction parties as bosses between other eldritch horrors.
there really aren't any "neutral" planets, every faction in 40k is extremely xenophobic, even though Tau, who are way more tolerant, have sterilization programs for non-Tau citizens
You could do forgotten planet though, old lost forgeworld or something
>You could do forgotten planet though
Something like Gorkamorka?
anon is effectively describing Warhammer Fantasy, in which case, just play Chaosbane or something, it doesn't have Tau's though
it's quiet
Sure smells like heretics around here
Actually speaking of lictors I hope there's a segment where you get stalked by one in space marine 2
>e-girl tau
Damn, slaanesh is pleased
Have we ever actually seen a tau child?
Depends on what you mean by “seen”. One of them gets killed by Cato in a book.
>AHHHH SAVE ME SPACE HINDU COMMUNISM AIEEEEEE
>Raven Guard
The space commies killed their Chapter Master
that's why they got a new guy for the job
Raven Guard and White Scars are used for xenos to win on a main legion thats it
god Tau suck to play on DoW
surely you jest, just get that upgrade path (the one where you can only pick one) that buffs the firewarriors and they're even more fricking busted than before you just post up three screens away from the battle, have some stealthy dude creep near the enemies to spot and watch your enemies melt
I just don't like how they don't have any defensive options outside of listening posts
>Play tau in 5man FFA with VoIP
>Go patient hunter
>everyone not me playing tau goes fist
>build Pathfinders and reveal damn near half the map on 2 flanks
>Build fire warriors and fully upgrade them and they have the range of 2 SCREENS, people whining I'm just shooting them from out of fog
>Cold war era starts and I get moron levels of energy
>Build two drone harbingers
>Ejaculate harbingers onto necron death balls
>Ejaculate harbingers onto space marine bases
>Ejaculate harbingers onto imperial killzones
>Still obliterating bases from two screens away with fire warriors
>Delete vehicles with permastun and jetpacking fusion gun stealth suit killteams while capping scot free
They don't have turrets because they're already broken at range and siege
>T'au
Traditional sci-fi faction in sci-fantasy setting
>Brettonia
Traditional fantasy faction in Renaissance fantasy setting
Both suck
Frick theme clashing
Tau are the only thing interesting in 40k. Having up-and-comers who aren't complete morons, complete monsters, or both is the only thing that prevents the setting from being tiresome.
Traitor to humanity, spitting in the face of all the God Emperor sacrificed for you!
Oh boy I sure do love a hivemind pseudo-deity acting like a massive c**t to everybody and then having his abused genetic experiment children tear the galaxy apart. Humanity is treated better under the Tau.
>Humanity is treated better under the Tau.
the Tau have literal sterilization programs for humans
I mean have you seen how quick we breed? They'd be overrun with humans in no time.
>This is the average human after a week of Tau brainwashing procedures
Maybe a different franchise would be more your speed?
I can't wait for the Aspect Warrior game.
I want an imperial guard game. I want to send tens of thousands of guardsmen to their deaths just so I can learn where the enemy force has put their heavy weapons at.
The perfect game would be playing as multiple characters throughout the story.
A section where you obviously pilot various mechas, maybe starting off as a stealth suit and unlocking new mechs as you go.
I would want to also play as a generic fire warrior breacher or something, in FPS mode.
And then the kicker would be a Kroot section where you and the boys go around eating shit and evolving.
But I guess it'll never happen sicne space marines are just more popular than all other factions combined apparently. We have to settle for muvluv for mechas vs tyranids action games.
Kroot shaper bannerlord-esque game where you roll around forming a cadre and choosing what the boys eat which effects how they fight.
>Kroot shaper bannerlord-esque game
bruh, as much as I like tau and kroot, you'd have to make that an Ork game
and need to include the nemesis mechanics from that lotr game. would be perfect
>He thinks xenos matter.
Be glad your shitty faction is allowed to continue existing. Anything that isn't human doesn't belong in 40k. Aliens are just a sideshow distraction.
Nobody gives a frick about xenos, proper HH game when?
yeah because "daddy issues: the tabletop game" is any better
HH is probably more popular than 10E is in my scene.
Hell fairly sure OPR is too.
>Not understanding HH
Typical xenosgay.
sex with a squad of r63 salamanders
sex with a squad of r63 raven guard
ebony and ivory snu snu
Friendly reminder that:
The Tau have evolved quickly, leading to huge deficits and weaknesses in their physiology. use these facts to your advantage and you will prevail
+ Tau have hollow bones. Their limbs break easily under little applied pressure
+ Tau have poor eyesight. Anything over ten meters away is always a blur
+ Tau are frighted by fire
+ Tau are frighted by water
+ Tau are frighted by thunder
Xenos experts have discovered that tau are descended from bovine herbivores. thus they are not predators and fighting is unnatural to them
Tau have udders, short tails above the base of the spine, and they excrete enormous amount of methane gas, especially when they are stressed
They chew cud for approximately four hours a day. When involved in this disgusting habit their metabolism and reflexes slow down, making them very vulnerable to attack
Tau are herd creatures that panic easily. Their usual response to stressful situations is either wail and lie face down on the ground with their hand over their heads, or run around in circles hoping to confuse their aggressor.
In battle, the Tau are disorganized and cowardly. They fight from a distance and their poor aim makes this tactic ineffective.
To compensate for their poor eyesight, they have developed acute hearing. Their eardrums are so sensitive that if you make a large enough noise (for example, shouting the Litany of death) it causes deafness and immediate confusion.
The Tau are naturally hairless and find hirsute people unnerving
Friendly reminder cultist-chan is a male
Show me a post where Colossal homosexual says that and I believe you
where is the slaanesh tattoo?
Guess
Based imperial infantryman primer
>Eldar are cowardly gnomes
>Orks are easily disarmed in close quarters
>Tau are cows
The Primer never lies
I hate you pornaddicted homosexuals so much.
>IOM players get really fricking cranky when Tau aren't depicted as smooth face cowards that scream and run from the might of mankind.
>When they basically mass produce space-marine levels of power armor and are one space Meth binge away from just turning their Gue'vesa into equivalents.
They had their chance to wipe out the Tau, now its too late. once you can see a fricker on the map in a space setting then you may as well just learn to tolerate one another and focus on shit that matters. Like the soul eating super rapists or the slobbering Green morons.
Tau plot armor is bullshit. Only faction with more of it is Eldar.
>introduce new army to your wargame.
>Have them wiped out immediately by the big space men.
Wouldn't do them any good, I think.
new army to your wargame
That was the first mistake. Tau weren't needed.
>Eldar
>Plot armor
Eldar has no fricking plot armor, GW is too busy making Eldar into complete jobbers. Every fricking storyline for Eldar goes no where or they just fail.
Why would an NPC faction like Eldar deserve to win? They exist to be shot at.
eldar should fail as they had a large uncontested empire and completely lost it through their own moronation
>Avatar of khaine literally exists to job in lore and books to make new toys seem even more op
Nah
>They had their chance to wipe out the Tau, now its too late. once you can see a fricker on the map in a space setting then you may as well just learn to tolerate one another and focus on shit that matters.
They're such a horribly obvious riff on East Asia the next lore progression will have Tau collapse due to a population implosion caused by not enough snu-snu and ageing population.
Tau are objectively the best faction, they actually try to leverage technology to their advantage, focusing on long range weapons and drones instead of meme chainswords, their kit looks slick and cool and they have reasonable policies towards other factions, the only reason to like any other faction is for the memes.
Tau are a bunch of insignificant aliens who don't fit the setting. Anyone who genuinely likes Tau misses the entire point of 40k.
the entire point of 40k is to bash little cool looking miniatures together, anyone who takes the setting seriously is a massive homosexual
>the entire point of 40k is to bash little cool looking miniatures together
Yeah, and Tau aren't cool.
>Yeah, and Tau aren't cool.
I think they're cool
There's an army in this old game called AT-43 called the Cogs that look like they should be the Tau in 40k. Meanwhile the Tau look like they should be the Cogs in AT-43.
I think they had the same original artist as well.
Explain to me why without falling back on Black Library/wiki secondary bullshit. They fill a nice role as a xeno army.
Xenos already don't matter. Making a new faction of them so a relatively small group of new players can come in then b***h about the bad representation is a terrible idea.
>new faction
>representation
Tau have been a thing since 2001. Why are you hitting me with homosexual Twitter arguments? Do you go into power level threads and congratulate yourself for liking 40k like the other homosexual lords?
Tau fight with modern mixed armor/infantry tactics and mechs. Just like how Imperial Guard fight with Great War style tactics and Space Marines fight with stone age tactics
Why are there some people who just fricking hate the Tau with a passion?
My dad let me play with his carps one day and one of them flew in my face and sliced open my cheek with it's scales so I hate Tau because they remind me of japs and I hate japs because they remind me of sushi and sushi reminds me of live fish that hate young boys.
They are called citizens of the Imperium, you xeno worshipping scum
Because they dab on their favorite faction with superior tactics.
It goes back to when Tau first came out, they were seen as out of place for being "too clean" and "too good". Now the hate for them is more of just a meme that's embedded itself into the wider culture surrounding 40k.
The real problem a lot of people have with Tau now is how disgustingly underutilized their broader concept is. Tau auxiliaries are basically non-existent, which is fricked for a faction comprised of multiple species. Sure, kroot and vespid have some presence, but in terms of lore, mechanics, and models, they're mostly ignored.