I'll start
>''OK so this is my homebrew...''
>"Don't worry, no one can die when I DM''
>"I'm going to make your character do dumb stuff when you roll low lol like fart lol"
>"I go complete RAW so I'll be checking all attempts to do anything against the book"
>"The bartenders name is Mike Nelson, from the hit TV show Mystery Science Theater 3000 *proceeds to roleplay as actual person from a TV show*"
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I miss Scruffy
Yeah what happened? Can't find the blog any more.
>"Ok the party is at the dungeon entrance"
>"Alright the party is at a tavern where they're meeting the first time"
>"So the enemy gets away"
>"The party has been captured"
>"They stole your stuff!"
>"It's a red dragon you're too low level to face it!"
>"It mind controls a party member!"
>"She's got huge breasts and winks at party member"
>"This character is interested in tagging along with the party"
>"One of our players isn't here so will reconvene next week"
>"I didn't like how magic missile worked so I changed it"
>"We don't track hunger or encumbrance but the party is now very hungry"
>"Stop being such a rules lawyer, we're doing it this way"
>"I'm gonna make my rolls in front of you all"
>"If you go in there everyone dies. Ok everyone is now dead, reroll characters"
>"Here's my campaign world I worked on for over a year, it will take us five years to finish"
>"Treat D&D like it's the first thing you want to do, if you miss a game your parents better have been in a car accident"
>"I'm taking each one of you individually on a solo adventure over Discord"
>"The party has split up so we're doing separate sessions this week"
I could keep going
>>"One of our players isn't here so will reconvene next week"
Sorry chief, this is the sign of a bad player, not a bad DM. If someone misses a game, unannounced, they get one pass then they get kicked.
found the bad DM right here, OP
>"I'm gonna make my rolls in front of you all"
>"If you go in there everyone dies. Ok everyone is now dead, reroll characters"
How are these two bad?
Instant death has never been a good, and Gygax was hated for hit shitpost adventure Tomb of Horrors. DMs should roll behind the screen so he's not seen as one of the players.
There are some situations you simply can't win. Do I really need to roll initiative for 150 archers and roll to hit/damage until you go down? Do I need to roll something to prove that the king's entire retinue of guards can restrain one moron? Those are rhetorical questions.
Ideally you would deal with players purely using mechanics. Would you roll for 150 archers? no you wouldn't get that far. Besides that, there's no way that situation even comes up. Because if it did, yeah roll until the players go down.
No, homosexual. Cry about it
>Ideally you would deal with players purely using mechanics
DM Fiat is a mechanic, nogame.
>Shit DM has to handwave and overrule mechanics
hate to see it
If that one moron has killed giants and dragons with his bare hands for fun and is loaded to the gills with magical gear, the king’s retinue really doesn’t stand a chance tbqh
depends on so many factors, setting, and system. your reply is completely worthless
Yeah, in that case maybe you have a point. There are other cases where you don't.
They aren't there was like two valid ones and rest was just shitposting.
You should have a nice day
>>"Treat D&D like it's the first thing you want to do, if you miss a game your parents better have been in a car accident"
There's a couple in here that aren't bad. This one is a little exaggerated, but this kind of thing is something I tell my players before we even start the game. I set expectations for them and if they can't do it, they don't play. Easy as.
It's not exaggerated, I've seen a lot of people say similiar. "The only excuse I'll accept is if there was medical emergency"
that's my standard for flaking without advance notice, thankfully most absence-causing things have enough lead time to be forgivable if they don't become chronic dodging.
If you can't commit, that game isn't for you. Simple as.
your little game of pretend does not outweigh something important coming up lmao(and no im an alwaysGM, not a playeroid, its just true sorry lol)
It's not about the activity, it's about respecting other peoples time.
>your little game of pretend does not outweigh something important coming up lmao
...which is why they say "If you miss, it'd better be something important." Like, that's literally the whole concept there. It's OK to miss every once in a while if it's something important. Otherwise, you need to let people know in advance and if you're just going to constantly miss, why did you even sign up in the first place?
Frick you, I'll dodge a session if I feel like it.
Eat shit, you're a shit DM.
Congrats, you're the exact reason that phrase exists 🙂
Ask yourself why you want to dodge. Does it happen often ?
If you don't feel like playing, and the game begins to feel like an obligation, maybe you should consider leaving the group, so that you don't hold other players back.
>Shit Bad Players Say
>keep blowing off commitment with friends that you had scheduled
>shocked when people call you an butthole and stop inviting you
Seen it happen before and I'll see it happen again.
Tell us all your usernames so that any GMs who end up with you at our table can plan for your schedule in the future...
and that's okay if you can tell the gm that shit's come up and you can't make it.
I'm not gonna throw a brick through your jaw because you skipped for a hot date that night if you just say "I can't make it to the session because I've got a hot date that night" before the day of (this is an actual reason a player missed a session in one of my games, we did finish that campaign though)
>TTRPG player
>Hot date
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
It's more likely than you think
Why double book like a moron in the first place?
Players need slack for when they don't manage to tell you they're not showing up. A good GM can continue without them anyway. Which is the point of irony I've seen, they're mad that someone missed, yet they're kick the player out for having missed and not let them play anymore. SO, they could have continued without them without much issue ANYWAY. YET they make a big deal out of it. SHIT GM
It's not about the game, it's about being a dependable adult.
But it's a disease that has spread with smartphones, everyone can only do things spontaneously anymore, "ehh, let's see" and then cancel on very short notice, because there could always be something better coming up. I even knew people like that before, but it wasn't as rampant as it is today.
And if you do that I will instantly respect you less for it and if you want something from me, I will certainly be less inclined to help you.
I view a dnd session as any other social commitment like a book club, or a running group, having life interfere every once and a while like a date, or an exam or work is perfectly reasonable, but if it happens too regularly then you probably should be doing something else that matches your schedule. What I dont accept is skipping your social commitment to go do another unrelated leisure activity like going to a book club or a random concert.
The concert is more important because they're not always around. This is what I meant when they've got a stick up their ass about showing up no matter what. No one should miss their favorite band because muh D&D.
Your playgroup also won't always be around if you keep ditching the game to go to concerts Kevin.
>Go see sick band live
>Play DnD with my friends
lol get fricked b***h I'm OUT.
You're either entirely lacking empathy or are too moronic to have caught on by now. I don't know which is sadder.
Different anon here, but are you for real?
Of course it makes perfect sense for someone to ditch d&d for a concert, you moron
Do you not know how to read? The key word is "keep" as in there's an implication you're doing this regularly. A specific concert might be uncommon events, but concerts as a whole aren't.
You're allowed to be a fan of a music group, that can be your primary activity, but I want my dnd group to be made of people who view dnd as their primary activity, not just something you do when you don't have any other activity you'd rather do more happening.
>but I want my dnd group to be made of people who view dnd as their primary activity
This is some insane crab in a bucket mentality right here. I hope you meant 'primary hobby' but even then thats a bit sad.
> A bit sad
You're being nice, anon
Right? Now if it was their GURPS group instead, then I would understand
This just tells me you're ashamed of playing dnd as a hobby which is more than a bit sad since you still do it enough to post on /tg/. There's nothing crab in a bucket about wanting people to respect each other's time and show up when they've agreed to.
Imagine projecting your own insecurity this fricking hard. No rational person is making the TTRPG they play once or twice per week their central main fixation unless they're completely delusional and absorbed with escapism.
LITERALLY FRICKING THIS
THIS
THIS
why is it so hard for these homosexuals to get this. The antisocialness it fricking TAKES to tell someone that they need a MEDICAL EMERGENCY to miss D&D night. That a fricking CONCERT from a fricking BAND is less important. because muh social oBliGaTiOn.
The only thing that actually matters is how often it's happening. If you're missing every other time, that's extremely disruptive.
>That a fricking CONCERT from a fricking BAND is less important
Yes. If you can't commit, you are free to leave. I'm sure there are groups with no commitment to schedule, but this isn't one of those.
this guy has no friends
this guy has no friends because autism, lol triggered
this man has a functional social group and enjoys good times with good friends
this man is "friends" with parasites who do drugs and can't manage their personal lives
People who can't respect others hobbies are narcissists and will never have the focus to maintain healthy social lives, get fricked
>this man has a functional social group and enjoys good times with good friends
>this man is "friends" with parasites who do drugs and can't manage their personal lives
> Same guy
You fricked up your quotes, brah.
Oh frick, you're right
this man has a functional social group and enjoys good times with good friends
>Dnd has to be the most important hobby in your life
Jesus Christ what a delusional dip shit butthole.
You uh, think hobbies are ranked or something between people?
Should D&D be like, someone elses like, 3rd hobby? Give me your other peoples hobby tier list. I think bands are fricking stupid and gay personally, music is playable digital now after all.
Holy Shit lol.
You probably don't even realize your this autistic and stupid, you don't have normal friends huh? Ones that act on natural social cues and stuff?
You are not normal, no one with a functional brain says this shit.
Bro, this is literally a board about ttrpgs, we all play with friends. You bailing out on peeps for a band though, I think the other anon nailed it, you probably have to constantly meet people to even have "friends".
You probably play 5e adventure league lol
>Rush comes to town
>Tell RPG group I can't make it
>DM banishes me for bit making RPGs a priority
You're autistic and stupid. No one, not even TTRPG players think you are right on this.
You're pathetic. Get a life, please.
The DM is in the right, because Rush sucks.
lol get fricked fangirl
Band<D&D
jerk off to people who don't know who the frick you are on your own time
Really embarrassing
>i should be allowed to piss all over other people's plans because I decided to do something else
Sure, that's fine. Then they should kick you from the group because you are making it impossible for them to game since you keep flaking to listen to shitty music. If you don't want to play then don't play. No obligation to play a TTRPG.
It depends on the timing for me personally.
>Hey, there's a big concert in 3 weeks I'm going to, I can't make the session that day.
>"Ok, we'll see if there's another day that week we can do it, or we might end up just taking a break for a week."
This is fine. If someone springs on me 10 minutes before the session starts that this concert they've known about for weeks is happening now and they can't make it, that would get me irritated. Not enough to kick them out by itself, but it would certainly add to it if it's a regular thing.
>not just something you do when you don't have any other activity you'd rather do more happening.
fricking WHY Black person, WHY?
Because tabletop RPGs take a lot of time, skill and effort to do well. And that should be respected.
If you just wanna casually jack off sometimes when you feel like and blow it off when you don't, be sure to let your GM know how much you value their hours and hours of preparing for the game.
currently watching my group implode over this issue.
>DM thinks that the time it takes to prepare and run games outweighs the input of just showing up
>playoids think that TTRPGs are inherently player centric and refuse to elaborate.
We don't even have any real reasons to flake but when we do its always the day of, sometimes even hours beforehand. Haven't played in weeks.
your player are flakey Black folk and don't respect the dm in the slightest
shoot them
Literally just give everyone a heads up in advance and there's no issue
Sometimes someone shows up out of the blue with tickets, and there's no service or something when you're listening to the band.
Oh you just get a ticket randomly with no warning and you're magically transported to the venue? Guess it can't be helped.
...how huge are we talking?
Every expression she makes causes them to jiggle. They appear as if they might burst from the top at any second. If she keeps talking each breast might have to roll initiative.
I propose to her on the spot.
>Roll persuasion
>FRICK YEAH NAT 20
>BRO SHE ACCEPTS YOUR PROPOSAL
BRO
Frick yeah. Breast size is everything to me.
Oh my Gawd congratulations!
>>"She's got huge breasts and winks at party member"
Ah, I see you too have a drinking problem.
>"I didn't like how magic missile worked so I changed it"
Do people really do this?
>"It's a red dragon you're too low level to face it!"
>"It mind controls a party member!"
>"She's got huge breasts and winks at party member"
>"This character is interested in tagging along with the party"
If these statements are all said in series I am down for this game
using mind control to force a democratic decision to convince the party to take an npc with them sounds like an interesting adventure premise
>"Ok the party is at the dungeon entrance"
Literally the best way to start a campaign.
>"Alright the party is at a tavern where they're meeting the first time"
Gay and lame, correct.
>"So the enemy gets away"
Sometimes the enemy gets away. Cope loser.
>"The party has been captured"
Usually gay and lame, correct.
>"They stole your stuff!"
Cope loser.
>"It's a red dragon you're too low level to face it!"
Cope again loser.
>"It mind controls a party member!"
Yet again, cope.
>"She's got huge breasts and winks at party member"
Based and gay.
>"This character is interested in tagging along with the party"
Lame, correct.
>"One of our players isn't here so will reconvene next week"
Lame, correct.
>"I didn't like how magic missile worked so I changed it"
Depends on too many things.
>"We don't track hunger or encumbrance but the party is now very hungry"
Lame and gay, correct.
>"Stop being such a rules lawyer, we're doing it this way"
Cope loser, dm your own game.
>"I'm gonna make my rolls in front of you all"
Good, all rolls should be in the open.
>"If you go in there everyone dies. Ok everyone is now dead, reroll characters"
lmao based.
>"Here's my campaign world I worked on for over a year, it will take us five years to finish"
Lame and gay, correct.
>"Treat D&D like it's the first thing you want to do, if you miss a game your parents better have been in a car accident"
Based moron.
>"I'm taking each one of you individually on a solo adventure over Discord"
Discord is terrible in all uses.
>"The party has split up so we're doing separate sessions this week"
See above.
You gargle at least %50 wieners and putting quotes in meme arrows bumps that to %110 percent. 8/10 good bait.
>Literally the best way to start a campaign.
stopped reading there, you are a shit DM
Why is discord always bad?
I bet you could keep going, but you don't need to. We all now know that you're the problem.
>>"Ok the party is at the dungeon entrance"
>>"Alright the party is at a tavern where they're meeting the first time"
There is no problem here.
all context dependent
You don't need to start. Every shit DM is actually characterized by the following: They b***h about players, game mechanics, and other DMs instead of running the fricking game. Every other part is irrelevant. If you actually take time out of your day to catalogue ugliness instead of focusing on your craft then you aren't a real artist, and the exact same applies to every single thing. Failed authors criticize literature. Failed filmmakers criticize film. Failed DMs criticize DMs. This leads to a funny scenario in which the only people who create and populate these threads are the people who they apply to.
Lead by example or frick off.
Not true, I would use loaded dice but for a oneoff adventure. We're not the same, I'm built different.
/thread
you're not supposed to /thread your own post
You're right about everything excluding complaining about players.
Some are just mother frickers that disrupt the game with some kind of bullshit.
thippy bippy
I wouldn't say you're 100 percent right but I really needed to hear that, thanks.
>They b***h about players, game mechanics, and other DMs instead of running the fricking game
I'm not going to run a game for shitters, I refuse to leave broken or unbalanced mechanics as they are for said shitter players to abuse, and I wouldn't have to mention other GMs if shitters didn't whine about how my GMing style isn't the same as [insert eceleb here].
>If you actually take time out of your day to catalogue ugliness instead of focusing on your craft then you aren't a real artist
No true scottsman fallacy.
>Failed authors criticize literature
No, people who see shitty literature criticize literature. Also, appeal to authority by implying that only successful authors know good writing.
>Blah blah more of the same
See above.
>This leads to a funny scenario in which the only people who create and populate these threads are the people who they apply to.
Nah, but most of /tg/ is all nogames.
>Lead by example or frick off.
I do, but I know you don't. people who whine about whiners are literally worse than the people they're whining about. You have no games, no players, no friends, no b***hes, now take your L and frick off.
Bad GM detected.
I would fricking love if Mike Nelson was an NPC in my game
I should have used Mike Nelson as an NPC in mine instead of Terry Davis.
This is shit that fricking nogames think bad DM's say when in reality nobody ever says this, and I have seen some dumb shit in my life.
>when in reality nobody ever says this
>"OK, so this is my homebrew..."
moron.
>One specific thing means you are wrong
Ok, nogames.
I accept your concession, shitbrewer
You are acting exactly like a child.
>You can only run official modules and settings handed down to you by publishers
When did this dogshit meme get popular on /tg/? I've never ran anything except homebrew for 15 years, I just keep the core mechanics intact
I have personally played with GMs that have said the first two and the last one, albeit a different real person from media, but same thing
My current DM does at least one every few sessions:
>"So the enemy gets away"
>"The party has been captured"
>"They stole your stuff!"
>"It mind controls a party member!"
"Shit bad DMs say"
>"All right, let's start the session."
...what if the players keep talking?
I mean, he didn't say that only bad DMs say that.
"Hello" or "How are you?" are also things that a bad DM might say.
It seems I didn't do a good enough job conveying that all DMs are bad DMs.
>Mike Nelson
Yes, because a quality DM would say Joel.
Nothing more annoying than some shit DM saying he has some ''homebrew'' rpg to play and it's just some autistic fantasy based on a real life IP that no one fricking cares about.
>This is my homebrew based on the King of Queens delivery company named International Parcel Service (IPS).
that's oddly specific
Maybe for normies, but just look at the most bumped threads, it's always some autistic Star Wars or Jumpchain horseshit so morons can fantasize about whatever the frick like being a prostitute in the early Dragonball universe or some other stupid ass shit.
personally I usually only bump threads with loose elf girls or AI pictures in the OPs
Unironically enough I would 100% hop on a home brew based on king of queens just for the pure madness that was involved in creating it. Homebrew can be fun unless you’re with cringe autists trying to create a manga or cringe tryhards looking to power game the shit out of everything.
>We will be playing D&D
and the only thing worse
>We will be playing *anything not D&D* using house ruled D&D
This is the worst thread on /tg/ right now, congrats.
I like how it is RAW and homebrew in one bait to make it extra stupid
>I go complete RAW so I'll be checking all attempts to do anything against the book
This is the only kind of game I'll play, but he really should learn the book.
>"My girlfriend is joining the party tonight"
Oh shit I died in a car crash last night, I won't be able to make it, go on without me.
>that rule wasn't realistic so I changed it
You could just send me a text instead of b***hing about me on Ganker, dude.
DMs who play fricking uno with actions are such homosexuals.
After I had played an entire turn for a monster, the polearm master sentinel player went "oh he walked here ? I could have hit with an opportunity attack" that would have stopped it at max ranged and cancelled the whole turn and I went "no frick off, be awake next time"
Also
> You see what you see on the battlemap
> The zombie behind the door had held action hit the person who opened the door. It hits you, then roll initiative..
> The archer shoots at your full plate paladin. Roll a DEX save to dodge the arrow
> I'm pissed that you reminded me how the game actually works and not my invented completely unfun and gamebreaking which i thought was the RAW. I will now apply the unfun and incorrect rule only to your character as a punishment.
> As you start bickering we move on (as soon as a bit of in character disagreement happens between players. This only delayed the problem for later)
> Stop taking all the spotlight, you. Ok the npc tells you "what are you doing here" ? (followed by ten seconds of uneasy silence)
>> The archer shoots at your full plate paladin. Roll a DEX save to dodge the arrow
Oh man, frick this specific brand of bullshit
>zombies
>readied actions
have a nice day.
I will
I didn't mention it, thank you for reminding me. There was this shit for every door
it's one thing to go "that's my turn.... oh wait sorry DM could I have used my cunning action to hide?" and another to go "hey I forgot I had war caster so I should've rolled that concentration with advantage 5 turns ago and could I reroll that to see if hypnotic pattern stayed up and the next 4 monsters shouldn't have gotten their turn?"
This is why players should have their own reference material, and Play It As It Lands should always be in effect. The DM has enough shit to do, learn your character and live with the decisions you make.
Missed trigger
It's a good way to force players to learn how their actions go.
I'm not saying that players should be able to retroactively swap shit because they don't like the result, but stuff like "you didn't say you were casting defensively" or "You didn't declare that you you were checking for traps on that exact square" or "you didn't say you drew your weapon before attacking" is lame, especially if the GM takes back their actions if they don't like the result.
DMs
>control monsters, and this includes all ongoing effects
>gauge how the party is doing, and might adjust future difficulties to keep things interesting, or give them a bit of leeway so the game doesn't turn into a slog
>have a real orientation on where the party is, their facing and such to describe the environment as they would see it, so they don't get lost on meandering descriptions
>remember all the rules, order of play and turn sequence from npcs and players both
>remember ongoing conditions and effects ON CHARACTERS because players are incapable of remembering anything beyond roll d20 and add str
Player
>remember that once a day I can cast smite evil
>oops I forgot, haha I did it twice, welp
>remember that I can AoO when enemies move in my range
>oops I forgot, can we go back 4 moves so I can roll and fish for 14 damage?
frick off playetoids
Write a book homosexual
I want to play a game but you homosexuals can't remember the rules
Good DM:
>[as player casts smite evil for the 2nd time]
>you can only cast smite evil once a day
Or
>you can cast smite evil again for a penalty just so we keep the game going
Momentum and player interest is more important than anything else- even if it means having to tardwrangle them a bit
>"I go complete RAW so I'll be checking all attempts to do anything against the book"
Nothing wrong with this, l2p & gitgud
>>"I go complete RAW so I'll be checking all attempts to do anything against the book"
this is fine so long as he actually knows his shit and is consistent with it, even if it's disadvantageous for him
>Make joke about how only super autists do RAW only and make gaming sessions more important than real life events
>/tg/ defends these as if they were normal.
Jesus Christ.
doing RAW is a perfectly valid way of playing games
not one I'd do personally, but there's nothing fundamentally wrong with it and I can see some benefits to it, like not wasting as much time on rules arguments
No it's not.
Humans are not robots.
Also RE: The Random Tables thing, as a GM, I think they add some excitement to the table, and I get excited to adapt on the fly to the random table.
But I'm not autistic.
Doing something the intended way isn't robotic
You know what you're right, RAW is the way to go. Good thing Rule 0 is the first and most important rule, which means RAW I can disregard RAW whenever I want and it's still RAW.
>I'm not autistic says the man displaying the autistic trait of not understanding that people can like things he doesn't
>We're going to be playing this module...
>We're playing in [officially printed game setting]
>Yes you can play any character options in any printed material
>I don't care about your character's backstory, only their stats matter
>"I'm going to make your character do dumb stuff when you roll low lol like fart lol"
I would actually love it if my DM did this.
>>''OK so this is my homebrew...''
But what if the game has only a couple of official adventures and we complete them all already?
What am I supposed to do?
Have you tried playing D&D?
ew...
I'll play someone's obscure homebrew any day before I ever touch a WotC product ever again. And anyone who likes WotC products should be sure to let me know during their application process...
You can play D&D without having anything to do with WotC. 1e D&D still has tons of modules.
>1e
I would rather hammer a railroad spike in my urethra.
>Spends half the session talking about some campaign they ran in the past or that they want to run in the future.
>Entertains conversations completely unrelated to the game while in the middle of a dramatic moment or combat.
That's my group bro frick me.
I have two players that must have serious ADHD. They watch videos on their phones, paint minis, talk about random crap mid session. But they always say they're loving the game and even talk about it, character motivations and such, in the group chat throughout the week. I just don't get it since everyone seems to be having fun and the players seem engaged enough to think about the game on off days but then during a session they get distracted like lemmings. Well, if everyone is having fun who am I to complain?
I feel like some people enjoy the idea of playing a TTRPG (coming up with a character concept, maybe a build, maybe story possibilities) but don't actually care about playing.
This is how I am unless I'm playing either Pathfinder or Lancer.
>GM screen
>battle maps
>random tables being used for anything
>miniatures
>laptops, tablets, phones being used as a play aid
>dice towers
>concealed rolls
all of these things are anti-soul
Counterpoint, using the same 6 primed but unpainted minis for everything is peak soul
>Enters cardboard squares chad
every RL table I've played at just cannibalized pieces from board games we had lying around and used a dry-erase board with a sharpie'd grid for a battlemap.
tables being used for anything
>all of these things are anti-soul
Random tables are pure soul. Anti-soul is a GM who thinks he has everything figured out and is just playing to take you through his curated experience.
It’s called improv and adaptation dummy, ya know, using your brain. Having random tables is just another form of GM thinking he’s got everything figured out by filling in potential gaps with randomness
> is just another form of GM thinking he’s got everything figured out by filling in potential gaps with randomness
Do you also hate rolling dice
Pathetic strawman. I accept your concession. Address things I actually said instead of putting words in my mouth or continue being ignored
Hatred of random tables as a way of interjecting randomness can naturally be extended to hatred of randomness in general, as it's just a specific expression of it. Concession accepted in any case.
>can naturally be extended
said everyone whose ever used a strawman argument ever. nice try, though.
I don't care that this is bait, but I'll give a counterpoint as somebody who dislikes using random tables themselves.
The brain is able to consider a complex situation and then churn out a solution. The thing about the brain is that the solution it churns out is often the solution it has seen before.
By having a table that you check or roll on, you provide another prompt that you have to consider when you resolve an action that you may or may not have considered before. If using tables, you gotta recycle them when their prompts are stale.
In conclusion and if done right, tables can prompt the brain to get more creative than without. My preferred prompt is to use Drama Cards for the players to choose when to prompt me to get creative. It won't work for all games, but for some mother fricking dungeons and dragons, it's awesome.
Holy shit you are a moronic homosexual. If the random roll for the encounter on the day of travel is fricking wolves for the region you're in, you're fighting fricking wolves. The tables deliver random content specifically so that morons like you don't spend every single nanosecond of time at the table to wank yourself for being so ImAgInItIvE and CrEaTiVe. You and your players all sound completely insufferable.
>If the random roll for the encounter on the day of travel is fricking wolves for the region you're in, you're fighting fricking wolves.
what a fricking boring game that must be
>...to wank yourself for being so ImAgInItIvE and CrEaTiVe
And yet you also posted
which spoke about improve and adaptation and using your brain. Then in the next stroke, you mock using your imagination and creativity which are also applications of brain use.
Care to explain this?
not the same poster.
Screenshot my post
and show me where the (You)s are, and I'll believe you.
Sure enough. I'll give a bite of your original reply here:
I don't even use random tables as I dislike using them, especially if it only amounts to rolling on the table to find out if the players are going to fight wolves or skeletons. But then if I decide to use something like Drama Cards for the players to push me as the GM to reimagine a scenario, to give the PC something convenient, etc, your response is that I'm wanking myself for being so ImAgInItIvE and CrEaTiVe.
What is the correct way to do it then? Should I only have it specific to determine if the players will be fighting wolves or skeletons or bandits or what?
Anon you're talking to different people you deluded frick. How about you take a Drama Card to go to therapy for your burgeoning schizophrenia?
Random tables exist for whenever you need to inject any number of random occurrences into the scenario, and exist so that the DM and Players both don't fall into traps of convenience or repetition. I can tell by the way you talk that you're a massive homosexual who gives their players everything they want in an infinite downward spiral of people pleasing and narcissism, but for normal people it's not hard to figure this shit out.
>Anon you're talking to different people you deluded frick.
Maybe try reading comprehension, because I acknowledged that already when I said "Sure enough" previously.
I also acknowledged the point about the strengths of using random tables here, despite them not personally being my thing:
>How about you take a Drama Card to go to therapy for your burgeoning schizophrenia?
So now we're going to one-up each other? In that case, I'll go to therapy for schizophrenia when you go to anger management for being that butt-blasted over how somebody else runs or plays a game that never involved you. I can also tell by the way you type that you're prone to thinking in hyperbolic extremes by your ad-hominems and strawmans of me being what I assume you think of me being a Matt Mercer Reddit-superstar wannabe. It's not hard for normal people to figure out that you've been on Ganker for too long.
You sound like the sort of person who praises Skyrim for having infinite quests.
You sound like the kind of moron who doesn't understand the difference between having a product design by dozens of people with millions of dollars of budget sold for profit running on computer hardware, and having one guy at a table trying to emulate an entire fictional world with dice and theater of the mind. You fricking moron.
This, if used correctly tables can help improv instead of stifle it.
Minimalist gays need to stfu, you lost this fight 25 years ago.
>Everything in this post besides the nu-technology is unique and cultural to TTgaming, especially TTRPGs
>Still snags 4+ replies
Aw man, fa/tg/ents are either really bored today or we're slipping.
Phones are only present if there's a call or text message (it could be important, reason enough to pause a game), but no fricking scrolling. I know you paid $200, but maybe choose a better time to chat with pricy e-bawds, yeah?
my dislike of random tables has nothing to do with randomness or any of your gay arguments. they just reek of reddithomosexualry and nu-GMing, just like all of the other things i listed here
if I don't conceal my rolls, than the homosexual players will metagame. And the worst offenders will be the ones who say they'd never do that sort of thing in my experience.
Not just that, you conceal rolls to prevent players from developing the idea that the game is Players vs DM (which leads to buttfrustration and even worse metagaming) and to allow the DM to fudge dice when that sort of thing becomes necessary (like if you frick up your homebrew and need to course-correct).
>and to allow the DM to fudge dice when that sort of thing becomes necessary
homosexual
>Not just that, you conceal rolls to prevent players from developing the idea that the game is Players vs DM
Why would this happen?
>and to allow the DM to fudge dice when that sort of thing becomes necessary
>roll dice
>don't like the outcome
>lie
homosexual. Stop railroading players through your curated content.
I found some old Lego minis and gave them to my players to build their characters, where's your god now?
I have made my own random tables for whenever the team is traveling.
Weather, typically clear or cloudy, sometimes stormy, rarely a massive radioactive hurricane.
Temperature, sometimes temperate, usually hot, sometimes unbearably hot.
Periodic encounter, ranging from abandoned gas stations to wandering merchants to deathjaws (radiated gator lmao)
Random tables are great especially if you know your system and have good improv capabilities.
The only people that hate random tables probably read a roll result of "extremely hot hurricane where you encounter massive radioactive wasps at some point" and say to the players "You wake up and its extremely hot and theres a hurricane and also wasps in the camp where you wake up"
The random tables seem autistic until you realize the actual autists plan everything in advance and can't cope with the players doing anything off the beaten path and can't improv for crap.
>You wake up and its extremely hot and theres a hurricane and also wasps in the camp where you wake up
but that's awesome.
It would be something I might pull to be honest, now that I think about it it would be pretty funny. But I would only let them get that surprised after a few failed rolls.
I think you know I meant that a bad DM wouldn't be able to conceive a concept where during the mad gallop through the hurricane they might stumble into a rad wasp nest, or if they hunker down a bunch of fleeing wasps tear into the camp, or during a fight with wasps the hurricane starts rolling in.
Recent adventure
>Players are tribals living in the plains of 'Cala
>Do some sacred mushrooms with the shaman of the village around a horse dung campfire while the shaman plays with his bones and reads the future
>Sent out to hunt a deathjaw whos annoying a neighboring tributary tribe
>First day, critical failure weather roll, here comes the hurricane
>All 3 players fail the check to notice the changes in pressure, etc.
>Hurricane hits, horses braying and hurting themselves on their ropes
>1 player can't calm down their horse, it really hurts itself and to keep things moving I say it suffers from nervousness forever after the day's events
>They decide to try and ride to the center of the hurricane
>Getting radiated and pelted by debris
>They ride into a small grove of man eating plants that try and shred them as they go through (part of the random table) and manage to dodge through the shredding foliage. One guy gets clipped by a leaf but manages to stay saddled.
>Get into the eye and they hunker down after making a more sturdy shelter and let the rest of the hurricane pass over
>Fright checks all around to keep calm as the back of the hurricane passes over
>Make some random rolls behind the scene to decide which way and how far they are off their planned route
>Stop the session for the night and have good "lost in florida" material for next time that the more survival orientated characters can show off their stuff.
I would have had a small fraction of the fun as a GM if that was planned.
Random tables are good because they make the game unpredictable and more fun for the DM, forces me to improvise and adds another layer to the game, feels less like Masturbation on my end
>Random tables are good because they make the game unpredictable and more fun for the DM
I find pointless, meaningless, random battles dreadfully dull as a GM. I'm not here to watch my players play skyrim with dice, I'm here to see their characters be heroes and do interesting shit, not kill badgers for nothing.
>forces me to improvise and adds another layer to the game
The players should be the ones doing that, not a fricking table of boring dogshit that adds literally nothing of value to the narrative of the game and turns it into skyrim with dice.
>feels less like Masturbation on my end
Then you're an insecure beta cuck and your players do not consider you a friend.
Go ahead and rush them into your premade railroaded garbage, who cares? Not my players to torture 🙂
>3d print miniatures for my party
>we all get together one night and paint them together
>use them in the next session
How the frick is that anti-soul?
Because it hurts South Korea's economy
Why do people think homebrew = made up stories.
Homebrewing is when some autist makes a new RPG system of his own and 9/10 it sucks ass.
Homebrew refers to both
Because "Homebrew" on it's own is just "Setting that the GM made up." It's also a descriptor t hat can be attached to something to denote it's not official material: homebrew system, homebrew class, etc. If someone is just talking about their homebrew, 9 times out of 10 they mean their setting.
>EVERY NPC is the same Marvel-snarking butthole.
>AI art of your character? What the hell dude don't you care about the artists?
Are random tables really a new thing? I remember seeing lots of random table stuff back when I was a little kid in the 90s, I don't even remember which game system it was.
They aren't. People just like to argue.
random tables in RPGs are likely older than all of the people complaining about them
Your pic sounds mean, but remember a player only has to keep track of one stat block which they know intimately from weeks and months of play, while the dm is constantly juggling multiple stat blocks, many of which they've only prepared a week in advance while also adjudicated all the interactions of the players and keeping track of the initiative table. So you should give your dm a little leeway when they forget a monster power.
FRICK you and FRICK the DM.
>character has one dose of any drug, including alcohol
>have to make a save
>LOL NOW YOU'RE ADDICTED!!!
>"We're playing Dungeons & Dragons"
>"I'm going to make your character do dumb stuff when you roll low lol like fart lol"
>tell my rogue that his daily ration is composed primarily of white bean as is customary for the region
>later, he says he will sneak past the guards
>tell him it will take 2 turns at sneak speed to make it to the other end
>first turn, rolls very high, "you tiptoe elegantly past every guard without a single sound"
>second turn, fails spectacularly
>"you make it just to the door on the other side of the room, and just as you grab the door handle, you let a huge one rip, echoing off every wall and resonating through the entire room"
>"you feel every eye turn to you, every guard staring in shock at the intruder, and half of them pinching their noses"
Pretty funny that this prompt made a bunch of actual morons and shit people reveal themselves
>The campaign is actually a thinly veiled fanfiction of the DM's favorite anime
Be appreciative of the fact he bothered to try and pretend it wasn't
even worse
>DM presents the arts of NPC drawn in anime style
Guilty
>"I want to try this new game!"
[hasn't read the rules enough, introduces some arbitrary changes, the game lasts 2 sessions tops and forever ruins any chance for others to try and run the game with his shit performance]
>"sure, it's ok to schedule the game whatever you like"
[doesn't prepare]
>"yeah let's make a serious campaign this time!"
[has a burnout in a month]
>"I'm writing this game about [piece of media because fotm has happened]"
[hasn't ever documented himself on any of the source materials]
>"I'm running a [one piece / naruto / metal gear / elden ring / etc...] game!"
[uses d&d]
>"yes, you can make that kind of character"
[doesn't explain the game themes beforehand. The player is now screwed with a nonsensical choice that just doesn't work, eg: he allows !Ignus in a game about scuba diving]
Devils advocate:
Player has to just play one character and plan his turn ahead.
DM had 5 different stat blocks per encounter that he probably only used one or two times while also tardwrangling the players
Is this okay?
>GM: Oh, you didn't know that's how your ability works? That's fine you can redo your whole turn from the start if you want.
also GM
>I forgot you have poison immunity, instead the monster is targeting the guy next to you
>That's fine you can redo your whole turn from the start if you want.
Depends on how long this homie's turn is
>>GM: Oh, you didn't know that's how your ability works? That's fine you can redo your whole turn from the start if you want.
Ok unless the homie is an absolute moron who takes too fricking long.
>>I forgot you have poison immunity, instead the monster is targeting the guy next to you
Not ok
>>I forgot you have poison immunity, instead the monster is targeting the guy next to you
It's okay if the monster is smart enough and the character having poison immunity would be an easy and logical assumption for the monster to make.
Generally our DM runs on "you're the one with the character sheet, it's on you to remember how your abilities work." He'll only let you "redo" a turn if there was a screw up on his end.
Poorly thought out rule changes without truly thinking why the rule was the way it was.
The rule was unfun. There's no need to think deeper than that.
What is the most tactful way to tell a player their player concept is cringe? It's in a campaign in the setting of an existing IP, and their character does not fit the IP at all, to the point where I'm almost certain they have never watched the IP. Details sparse for deniability.
Just tell them that character doesn't really fit with the IP.
Man that was hard.
There is no tactful way to bring it up unsolicited. You either live with, be a c**t and bring it up, or you massage a moment of doubt in the player to go "Oh, yeah, your character seems a bit out of tune with the campaign's setting, also I fricked your mother."
Tier 1: close friends
>"frick no, make a new one that isn't moronic you spastic homosexual"
Tier 2: acquaintance
>"Interesting but doesn't mesh with the general tone of this game in specific, save this idea for another game but for this i need your character concept to fit these requirements"
Trier 3: stranger
>"Interesting idea but unfortunately we already reached the players quota for this game. For the next time maybe."
Putting characters into the campaign without the GM's input should not be standard. No tact required.
Just let them honestly
Too many no life RPG players
Just going to weigh in that the anons who want to show up to games when they don't have other stuff on, and the ones who want to to form a regular part of their expected schedule can both exist without conflict.
They just shouldn't be in each other's games, that seems pretty basic to me at least? There's plenty of us really, so no need to fight.
I am suspicious the ones who are more up for committing are the ones who actually end up playing out campaigns and getting a lot out of the hobby but who knows, doesn't matter, love you all.
You are way too level-headed to be here
Well I initially came to complain about my gm being sexist but I realise that's not where the thread went...
sexist how?
I feel my DM makes all female characters very boring, I can't help but wonder if he's afraid of being sexist or something
>all of them are described as older (equivalent to 40s - 50s)
>all of them are "nice", without any particular flaw
>all of them are very competent at what they do, although not in a "girlboss" screentime stealing way
Sounds like he's afraid yes anon.
Female characters should just be male characters with fannies imo, that's how I feel about it anyway. There can be some variance due to cultural reasons, depends on the setting of course.
>sexist how?
He always talks over the women at the table when they're trying to roleplay with other players.
>Female characters should just be male characters with fannies imo, that's how I feel about it anyway.
yeah I feel the same.
>He always talks over the women at the table when they're trying to roleplay with other players.
Ah that sucks.
Yeah don't know what I hoped to achieve posting it here but it just depresses me a bit.
They get excited and start getting into character then he just talks over them and I see them deflate as they are too timid to ignore him like the male players do.
Sad really, I expect they'll be dropping out soon.
Not sure if it's good advice but maybe wait until the DM finishes their spiel and then ask the player "What were you gonna say?" I did this in one of my campaigns with a player who kept interrupting another with good results. Let's the player express their roleplay and if the DM isn't tactless they might pick up on the cue too.
Ccall him out next time. Stick your neck up before they leave if you enjoy their time, and he may not realize he does it. Worst case scenario, he is indeed exist intentionally.
> No, your character can't have two heads
Dude is no fun.
A devious DM would just roll some random dice behind the screen, say "uh oh, looks like the poison from the spiderbite is kicking in!", roll random dice again and deal 3 rounds of poison while pretending that's just how bad the poison was.
All of this arguing about cancelling sessions and so on is fricking moronic. ALL of you are moronic.
Don't show up for a game? No sweat at all, welcome back next week. Your character is now controlled by the party and gets 0 XP, come back next time if you want to gain XP.
Only one or two guys show up? Here's some pre-gens from my binder, we're doing Westmarches now. This is your B team.
Play a better edition (AD&D)
>Don't show up for a game? No sweat at all, welcome back next week. Your character is now controlled by the party and gets 0 XP, come back next time if you want to gain XP.
moronic, antagonistic, autistic behavior.
>Only one or two guys show up? Here's some pre-gens from my binder, we're doing Westmarches now. This is your B team.
Even worse, westmarches are actual aids and anyone who plays them is someone who can't get into a quality game because of how much of an insufferable failure of a human being they are.
>Play a better edition (AD&D)
All editions are steaming hot dogshit, play a better game like literally anything that isn't D&D or D&D adjacent (anything that uses a d20 and classes).
>Your character is now controlled by the party and gets 0 XP, come back next time if you want to gain XP
Kek, I've actually had a DM like this. His idea of XP was participation prize, like every character received the same amount no matter what, but only if you as a player showed up. To add insult to injury he didn't bother to adjust for level in any way like 3,5e rules actually tell you to, you just got same lump sum no matter what. If you happened to have a life outside game nights your character's relative performance only got worse and worse. But then again he was a morbidly obese neckbeard so it all fits together.
Our DM was a fan of "whoever deals the killing blow gets exp" so the Wizards and any shit kickers weree usually way higher level than anyone else. Which didn't help that we died all the time when fell behind because he was always balancing it for the higher level guys then.
he also had a rule where new characters start at the same level as the highest, so during his campaigns we eventually settled on a pattern of feeding all the kill exp to one player, handing him our magic items, then everyone but him jumps of the nearest cliff to commit suicide, then we just reroll our exact same characters again and he hands the magic items to our replacements.
For some reason he never saw an issue, it was really bizarre.
Quite frankly, I just don't believe you. I can't imagine a moron like that can actually run a functional table, or that any group willing to put up with him would be functional unless you were just forced to play together by circumstances.
>"whoever deals the killing blow gets exp"
Unfathomably based, will start running my games like this from now on.
>whoever deals the killing blow gets exp
So you're playing Rolemaster/MERP
It would unironically bring more tactical depth to the game, and reward system mastery too.
Your opinion is among the most worthless in the entire thread. Grogs are arrogant, insufferable, and embarrassing. Nobody likes you.
Shut Up, Grog knows best
>Only one or two guys show up? Here's some pre-gens from my binder, we're doing Westmarches now. This is your B team.
There is no reason to ever do Westmarches, it's for gay c**ts that are afraid of ever actually doing anything worthwhile.
>Don't show up for a game? No sweat at all, welcome back next week. Your character is now controlled by the party and gets 0 XP, come back next time if you want to gain XP.
The way I do it is to make the character like a skeleton or golem that runs on a flowchart, repeating simple actions suitable for the class. Fighter keeps whacking the nearest enemy, Warlock finger zaps etc. They lack any and all tactical consideration and self-preservation, sometimes leading to their deaths. It makes the players think twice whether whatever they are doing instead of being in the game is worth taking the risk of their characters dying. But yeah obviously they don't exp either.
Mind you, those flowchart operated characters aren't actively suicidal, but if there's a lava pool between the fighter and the nearest enemy, the fighter is gonna fry unless someone spends an action at touch range to wrangle him towards some other enemy.
What's a good way to deal with a player who just can't seem to get on time? And what happens if the players don't want to continue with said person?
My DM has done:
>"Ok the party is at the dungeon entrance"
>"Alright the party is at a tavern where they're meeting the first time"
>"So the enemy gets away"
>"The party has been captured"
>"They stole your stuff!"
>"It's a red dragon you're too low level to face it!"
>"It mind controls a party member!"
>"We don't track hunger or encumbrance but the party is now very hungry"
My DM has not done:
>"She's got huge breasts and winks at party member"
>"One of our players isn't here so will reconvene next week"
>"I'm gonna make my rolls in front of you all"
>"If you go in there everyone dies. Ok everyone is now dead, reroll characters"
>"Treat D&D like it's the first thing you want to do, if you miss a game your parents better have been in a car accident"
>"I'm taking each one of you individually on a solo adventure over Discord"
>"The party has split up so we're doing separate sessions this week"
My DM has partly/arguably done:
>"This character is interested in tagging along with the party"
>"I didn't like how magic missile worked so I changed it"
>"Stop being such a rules lawyer, we're doing it this way"
>"Here's my campaign world I worked on for over a year, it will take us five years to finish"
To be fair, the players got captured because either they couldn't read a room or wanted to stir shit up. It still progressed the plot even if it didn't follow a distinct blueprint and hey maybe it'll give the party an opportunity to form a truce so this doesn't happen again. I'm more than fine with letting actions have consequences beyond death.
>>"I'm going to make your character do dumb stuff when you roll low lol like fart lol"
I'm actually doing this, but for my excuse my players do hardly any roleplaying, usually just want to roll; would one explaine weak roll with roleplay, I would allow