>Thank you for your valorous efforts, Samwise Gamgee, Meriadoc Brandybuck, and Peregrin Took
>However, I think we should just send three immortal super elves to easily kill everything in the way
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>Thank you for your valorous efforts, Samwise Gamgee, Meriadoc Brandybuck, and Peregrin Took
Sauron would be able to spot these powerful elves easily, which is one reason why they didn't send Glorfindel. Didn't they even outright state this?
correct. OP confirmed for never reading the books
the book are shit, half the text is grrm food shit, except instead of food it’s a mountain
literally the most overrated writer in fantasy
>he doesn't like mountains
Confirmed soulless.
you’re the fatass of geography
Never In all my years have I found someone who's opinion is as wrong and worthless as right here
>no argument
>i didnt like it
>you didnt get it
>n-not an argument! You have to prove my subjective statement about my own preferences wrong!
Its sad how low trolls stoop these days
lmao nice strawman, homosexual
I said the book is shit because half of it is pointless meandering about the immediate environment at the expense of the actual plot
you engaged in baseless ad hominem because you’re butthurt about the only book you ever managed to read being garbage
there’s nothing to “get” here, try reading more, Black person
>nice strawman i totally got it
>the book is shit because half of it is pointless
Filtered lmao
>noooo the pointless boring shit makes it good
lol fartsniffer
Listen you brain dead moron. You keep saying "not an argument." Black person, no one is arguing with your stupid crap, they're just pointing out that it's stupid. No one has to offer reasons you're wrong, they're just laughing at you. This may come as a surprise, but no one has to offer a reasoned counter to your moronic opinions in order to know they're moronic.
>hurr durr ur not defending the books cuz you can't
I don't need to. No one actually needs to defend their opinion of a work of art (yes, books are art), but that doesn't mean no one is allowed to laugh as especially stupid opinions.
not reading your butthurt venting, come back when you have an argument to make
The environment is the plot.
deep.
Or high, depending on the topography.
I've read the book several times and I've never been able to find this page-long description of a tree that people keep insisting exists.
See I don't like and wasn't able to finish the books either for basically the same reason (I did love the Hobbit, though), but I recognize that as a personal dislike rather than the books being objectively shit. If they were objectively shit, then they wouldn't have had the impact on fantasy that they did. I'm not even talking about their direct popularity here, either, I'm talking about the broad effect that they had on the entire genre and continue to have to this day.
Do I think Tolkien was a perfect writer? No, or rather I'd say that he was an excellent writer but not quite as good a storyteller. Certainly he was a master of the English language itself, but his pacing needs work. But I'm not gonna sit here and say that one of the most influential and well-regarded fantasy novels of all time was "shit" or that Tolkien was "overrated". How do you "overrate" someone who's had such an impact?
I realize this is bait, but I actually agree. Jolkien Rolkien Rolkien Tolkien is the most overrated writer in fantasy, and although there is some fantastic worldbuilding in the background, the actual writing is an absolute slog.
It has some baller moments, but they're not worth coming through entire books for.
Are you going to try and claim Methuselah isn't Catholic?
>Are you going to try and claim Methuselah isn't Catholic?
pretty sure he's israeli
>half the text is grrm food shit, except instead of food it’s a mountain
JFC this is the most soulless post I've seen in a long time
>the book are shit
t. Reddit
reddit loves lotr almost as much as hp
He’s from Ganker most likely.
>tfw too magnificent to be the hero
Glorf would have made a better decoy than the ones they actually used, then.
>Not sending Glorfindel with two of the hobbits (the ones without the ring) as decoy.
>Not even sending him with two shaven dwarves because orcs can't tell apart
No, they outright stated that gorfindel couldnt storm the black tower or the gate, in the same paragraph where elrond says a whole regiment of elves armed as of the ancients would cause more problems than it would solve because it would just provoke sauron to focus them down. Similar, but not exactly the same
Correct. Glorfindel is too busy pissing of the playlets in the MESBG thread to destroy the ring
He stayed in Rivendell and kept Arwens pussy warm while Little Arry was ranging in Rohan
>elves
>the uber pure super catholic good boys of the setting
>cheating/cuckoldry
Cmon.
yeah, Galadriel's age has at least three digits too many for any Catholic
And your IQ three digits too few.
I can see that a nerve was struck. I'm sure a paternoster or two will calm you down, elfboy.
I totally would a Galadriel but elves are strictly monogamous due to Catholicism. 🙁
They also apparently completely stop having sex after a few centuries.
>the uber pure super catholic good boys
Lol, lmao even
There should be a video game about 'the distraction' where you play as Glorfindel wrecking shit somewhere else until Sauron gets wise to the ploy
There's a gollum game coming out, so I don't see why not.
There was one - The Lord of the Rings: The Third Age. You played a backup group that somehow never quite caught up with the Fellowship.
It was surreal, you fought the giant burning eye of Sauron at the end.
That game was fun, but there were also some powers that, if used properly, made it impossible to lose a fight.
I've replayed the game and didn't actually allocate points for stats (Just natural level increases) on hard, and I still managed to stomp.
If anything, Glorfindel would have made for a good decoy that causes Sauron to assume he took the ring for himself allowing the hobbits to easily sneak into Mordor. Better than even Aragorn.
Outside of that, Glorfindel literally glows when anyone with spiritual sight looks in his direction. He is not sneaking through Mordor at all ever since he would be the brightest shining attention grabbing beacon that every wraith, and fell maia in the country would instantly spot.
>The hardships of the fellowship of the ring... And Glorfindel, the marvellous bastard whose mere presence baited Sauron to his final defeat as he slapped the shit of all the bad guys, including the witch king and that one guy from Shadow of Mordor.
I'd read that.
Ehhh...Middle Earth does not quite follow DnD level gain stat rules. If Glorfindel marches into Mordor the orcs, trolls, and men could still bum rush and dogpile him. He would be caught an taken to Sauron tied to a pole in the first day.
Unless he screams like a lunatic and bum rush them first, then they will go out of their way to avoid having to face the angry elven lord.
Middle earth does not follow DnD rules, but the rules it does follow out a lot of emphasis on morale. And orcs are well known to break against angry 1st age elves with murder in their eyes. Or hobbits who happen to look the part, even tangentially.
The point is, a guy like Glorfindel running straight at them is basically their worst nightmare in the flesh, it’s the kind of stories they pass down for generations and use to scare their young into bed. Just the memory of the weapons from Gondolin makes them weep, and guess where Glorfindel is from?
How much of a shield surfing/mumakil felling could this dude be?
Dude was so badass Valars allowed him to come back after killing a Balrog to continue wreaking havoc and make Sauron cry. He'd probably be anime tier
Also it was him, and not Arwen who rode with Frodo, summoned the river and scared shitless the Nazgul in the book.
How do you do that without going full anime?
>without going full anime?
Anon, most high mythology--or, in this case, emulation of the same--is pretty fricking anime
You don't. Welcome to the wonderful world of mythology, where Roland chopped a mountain in half, Beowolf tore a trolls arm off and beat it to death with it, Cú Chulainn threw his magic spear with his foot and had a rage powered super mode, and Hercules survived being poisoned to death by magic uber powerful hydra venom long enough to walk up a mountain, chop down several trees, and build his own funeral pyre.
>Hercules survived being poisoned to death by magic uber powerful hydra venom long enough to walk up a mountain, chop down several trees, and build his own funeral pyre.
Did he not have friends? Imagine being so pathetic that you have to build your own funeral pyre
If he told them he'd have to explain his gullible third-to-forth-to-fifth wife, The Mankiller, did it...
By giving him an envenomed shirt
>Beowolf tore a trolls arm off and beat it to death with it
I prefer the Michael Crichton version where the "Wendol" are actually a tribe of surviving neanderthal cannibals, the dragon is a bunch of them carrying torches, and Buliwyf just chopped one of the wendols' arms off like a sane person instead of physically wrenching it out like a god damn chimp
Let me guess, you are the guy who *isn't* disappointed when, during the Macbeth play, the Great Birnam wood to high Dunsinane hill scene is a bunch of camouflaged soldiers ambushing the warlord instead of the actual forest coming to life?
Try Balrog-slaying. He's comparable to the guy who drowned a Balrog after stabbing it with his own helmet during the fall of Gondolin.
How about a game where you start as glorfindel?
But since the power of the world are waning, so are his.
to get back to full mana he has to get as many rings as possible!
dwarfen rings:
>make important missions where you get ring as payment
>take it from dwarfen kings forcefully if they resist
>kill dragons who incorporated dwtarfen rings into their body
humans:
>kill as many wringwraiths as you can and take their rings
elfen rings:
>ask elrond for his ring at the end
>steal gandalfs ring
>seduce galadriel, ntr celeborn mission
through the game you grow slowly stronger and get enemies from all factions until your times runs out.
Then you challenge Sauron to combat with the all the rings you manage to aquire.
honestly this would be rad.
CHRISTOPHER MY SON
sounds like an elf-wanking snoozefest but you do you anon
I don't think you can kill the Nazghul without destroying the rings. I'm pretty sure they're shadows bound to the rings. Wherever the rings are the Nazghul will be. If you weaken the shadow and put on its ring it will eventually restore its shadow form, replace your shadow with itself and finally take over your body.
tl/dr very bad idea my dude
Where the frick did this come from?
I can't even politely ask for the source since I'm 99% sure this is some wiki bullshit
I made it up.
It was revealed to me in a dream
Sounds like the sort of EPIC STORY YOU WERE NEVER TOLD retcon wank garbage that I'd expect from Disney Star Wars
(U)(U)(U)(U)
please never post again
The rings would still corrupt him. Holding on to a dozen rings would definitely do so even faster. You are talking about an end game situation where Glorfindel is basically a fallen sith lord stomping about on Middle Earth and potentially becoming the rival that Sauron is terrified wold overthrow and replace him.
Why didn't they just sneak in with the elves then?
Why? So you can pocket the ring for yourself, knife-eared backstabber!?
>knife-eared
Ah, the saddest attempt at a fantasy slur.
Most racist slurs aren't very creative to begin with.
>Slant eye
>Slope-head
>Pale-face
>Shitskin
>Dothead
>Mick
>Pajeet
Black person is literally just a distortion of "black"
It's a cumskin tier insult if it didn't have centuries of brutality behind it.
It's immediately identifiable, which puts it above most of em.
90% of fantasy creatures have pointed ears, anon. Including dwarves half the time. It's like insulting Asians by calling them "two-legs"
>zipperhead
>wetback
>chink
>asiatic
>jap
Knife ear is completely on point.
Frodo, look what they need to mimic a fraction of our powers. Stupid biggers.
>old bilbo going on about the smoothfeet stealing his israeliteelry
>again
>smoothfeet
Smoothfoots!
Ive never almost fallen off the toilet from laughter before, thanks.
Rosie is a god damn bigger lover
t. reddit
Bet this loser's dwarves aren't pointy-eared?
haha BRO why didnt they just ride the eagles to mt. doom haha
I see no way that putting 1st Age primeval elves in close proximity to an object that corrupts based on ambition and pride could possibly be a problem.
Honestly, I never even thought of that, but yeah.
However, I think we should just send three immortal super elf girls to easily seduce everything in the way.
Even more soulless shit.
You really think sauron wouldnt have planned for that kind of basic ploy? Why do you think we never see any female orcs?
They're in the kitchen, that's why.
At bag end? Not-English women are orcs? Really makes me think
However, I think we should just send three immortal super elf girls to my bedroom, ASAP.
Imagine thinking some plastic-face bimbo from an e-girl fetishist's ugly bastard cuck fantasy is valid when we got Nazgul Mommy-Milkers waiting at home.
t.your average black numenorian
>Ganker
>fetishising a literal cum rag
Checks out
>ruined by moronic oppai as always
God, please purge this Earth from THICChomosexuals and their plebeian ilk
>could make a joke about ghost blowjobs wooohooo
>choose to b***h about redblooded men
There is a special place in Hell for gays like you. Somewhere opposite of the Order of Furies, next to Tempters and Deluders.
Yeah, because sauron won't see that coming.
Everything you suggested was already tried in the first age, being sneaky worst best than all the other approaches.
What an amazingly high quality thread.
the elves left on Middle-earth are mostly Sindar, i.e. lowborn trash elves who prefer to hide from battle and make gay little boats and ropes as opposed to facing the enemy head-on. Imagine if a chad like Feanor wanted to help the hobbits.
all Gandalf would have to do is drop a hint that Sauron had found that Silmaril that fell in the lava at the end of the War of wrath.
Feanor's autism would go into overdrive and he'd would assemble every able-bodied elf to slaughter every orc between Eriador and Mordor and then storm the Morannon. Plenty of distraction to allow the hibbits through. In fact, Feanor would probably hand over the Ring as an afterthought, he'd probably consider the workmanship trash tier
Wasn't Feanor dead during the third age? Come to think of it, I don't remember how Feanor's story ends.
Feanor himself dies soon after the Noldor land on Middle-earth, he battles several Balrogs at once if I recall right. His pure rage and autism cause his body to dissolve in thin air upon his death.
Oh right frick, how could i forget that?
I should clarify, as long as you have one specific character active in every fight, you can't lose, Idrial is that fricking overpowered.
I'll just explain how it works.
Idrial, the female elf of the party, primarly focuses on healing and stuff, with some spirit attacks that stomp early game.
Those aren't why she's powerful.
She's powerful because of two spirit/healing powers.
First is Power of the Valar.
This lets her revive a downed teammate.
It instantly resurrects them, restores full HP and AP, removes all negative status effects, and makes them immediately take the next turn no matter what. This is, of course, super overpowered.
The second power is Aura of the Valar, and it's more grossly overpowered. Aura of the Valar is exactly like Power of the Valar, except you cast it and it auto-revives the teammate without your input. So, if they die on an enemy turn, they immediately get rezzed and go next.
But, what makes it even more overpowered is that Idrial can use it on herself. Your medic becomes unkillable.
Also, once she levels up enough, she can learn Frenzy which allows her to take a turn penalty and immediately take two actions.
This means that even in the event of a party wipe, she can auto revive, use Aura on herself again, then revive a team member all at once.
Even in the worst case scenario, this can be repeated forever.
Do elves shit?
Why didn't Gandolf just teleport the ring in mount doom