The dumbest way you've died.
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It's All Fucked Shirt $22.14 |
The dumbest way you've died.
The dumbest way you've died.
It's All Fucked Shirt $22.14 |
Nothing Ever Happens Shirt $21.68 |
It's All Fucked Shirt $22.14 |
I haven't died yet.
Unless reincarnation exists, then maybe, but I have no way of knowing.
Came here to post this.
Sorry and/or you're welcome.
You know, assuming you've reincarnated billions upon billions of times it's not impossible that you have murdered him in a past life.
Even if reincarnation is real, there have only been about 10,000 to 20,000 generations of humans, so the odds that any two random people would have killed one another in previous lives is near zero.
Ah, but why do you assume that reincarnation started with humans? According to the religions that believe in reincarnation, animals reincarnate too.
I may have eaten you in the Triassic era.
Reincarnation isn't real and neither is the Triassic; we were created less than 6000 years ago.
I wondered where you've been.
Thrown off the edge of the world by a Bebop TMNT ripoff.
Repeatedly.
Playing touhou and going forwards to grab some items, and then the boss spawns on me
Several times in a row
Trusting scheming pieces of shit PCs, several times, played by the same player
>play CoC
>make a skeezy reporter with no concept of boundaries with an ace in the hole: a tommy gun he keeps in his trunk
>go investigating reports of a psychopath in the area
>we find a big brawly woodsman with an axe that he brandishes on sight
>instead of opening fire then and there I try to act realistically and use my turn to simply level the tommy at him, warning him not to come any closer
>he closes distance on me and crits, lops my head off in one swing
what, you can't ready a reaction in CoC?
Get your D&D shit out of here
Yes you can, unless the GM wants to establish the threat of the session.
If I could I didn't know and didn't specify, it was our first time with the system
Not sure which edition of CoC this was, but in the version I played it worked like this:
>Initial Firearm attacks always happen first, in DEX order
>Second shots, movement, and melee then happen in Initiative order
>Technically, the first step of every combat turn is all characters declaring their "intentions" in reverse DEX order. So the slowest character declares what they're trying to do, and the faster characters can react tot hat. You then resolve in descending Dex Order.
>For example, Quicky Gunman is fighting Slow Ax cultist. Slow Ax cultist declares he's going to charge Quicky Gunman. Quicky gunman says he's going to shoot and back away at the same time. Quicky rolls to shoot, then moves backwards. If Slow Ax Cultist survives, he then moves, and if he's close enough makes a melee attack.
I think the Keeper screwed anon here, as he should have at least gotten to fire a shot as the maniac charged him. A single bullet also has a solid chance of disabling an ordinary human.
I used the skill trick Listen to This to repeat something that was said in dark speech. Using dark speech without specific training instakills you.
Trusting my DM when he said "I know I forced your character in this situation and you can't escape but trust me, It's a balanced encounter" and then I got instagibbed in a single turn before I could even react, and he rolled 2, 7, 8, 13 and 16 on d20, not even crits
First combat in the first session to the first goblin while playing a martial character.
Are you me? Pic is one of mine I screencapped for ease of sharing.
>playing LANCER
>missile artillery mech (MONARCH with Stormbending / Walking Armory)
>have to defend a point
>entire party misunderstands how the point works and the combat goes long
>gm clarifies at the start of round 4 that the party will lose in two rounds if nobody gets on the point
>due to movement shenanigans and other people retreating due to damage, i am one of the only allies within range 6 of the point
>get on the point
>another mech walks up to me and rolls a crit
>the end damage is twice my health and i only had the two structure left
>instagibbed by melee damage
>after the session, GM realized they also misunderstood the point's mechanics and I didn't need to get on the point, i just had to keep enemies out of it(something my mech in particular excels at doing from a distance)
Your first mistake was playing Lancer.
I never did.
> T. forever GM
>Another bot thread
>another newbie who thinks threads like we've always had are bots
When alone on a night’s watch a revenant after me abused me, double critted me knocking me out. The other person on watched rolled poorly and all their guns jammed. I then got hit again and failed a death save, dying in two turns just as the rest of the camp woke up
DCC, made through 90% of the funnel with a guy with decent stats, all coming up good
>I open the door and walk through
It was an empty elevator shaft, of a kind we'd seen several times already, but I was so direct and gung-ho about walking through this door
iirc the GM even gave me a "last grab" save, but it failed and my only good character in that funnel plummeted to his death
Kinda dumb slapsticky ruling by GM. Elevator door aren't like normal doors, you'd know if it was one when you're opening it.
Eh, DCC is a bit slapstick anyway, I was part of a group of medieval peasants exploring a spaceship. Also in DCC funnels everyone is incredibly easy to kill so it definitely fits the tone.
>I was part of a group of medieval peasants exploring a spaceship
This makes it more sensible, yes.
Teleported through a door we couldn't get past, onto a landmine while holding the plot critical key.
First time I managed to soft-lock a ttrpg
Walked into a cloud of poison with my party to see what's beyond, since we're all at full health and full resournces. As soon as we all walk in, GM tells us to roll initiative. I roll high and walk near my ally to hit the ghoul currently about to eat his face. A couple more ghouls rise from the ground. One of them touches me. I critically fail my save and am paralyzed in the poison cloud. While the rest of my group fights the ghouls and drags them out of the poison cloud, I'm failing my saves to not be fricking paralyzed. Over two turns the ghoul gets me down. Next turn, the GM says "I'm really sorry, but a ghoul would eat a downed person over anything else", and proceeds to kill me.
Next session, our barbarian tries to jump across a 15 foot pit to reach a door on the other side, since he immune to fall damage. He doesn't make the jump but has a chance to catch the ledge. He says he wants to fall so he can use his cool ability to ignore fall damage, but will make the roll to catch the ledge anyway. Rolls a 20, proceeds to fall as he intended. He lands, taking no fall damage. Immediately enters initiative and gets blown the frick out by two ghosts that blast his ass with lightning beams.
Because he was the Barbarian and was the combat MVP up to that point, he had the bag of holding with all of the treasure from the last 5 sessions in it.
My new character was just standing there watching this go down as he struggled really hard to find a convincing reason to delve into a dungeon with absolute morons.
This was over the internet
One of our players wasn't responding to us so we skipped to the monsters turn, who rolled a crit and killed my guy. I didn't even get the chance to react in anyway
Turns out that player had past out from the heat and didn't regain consciousness until after the session ended
What third world shithole was he in that doesn't have AC?
The UK
Not me, but I saw a PC playing a wizard face blast a Giant Ground Sloth while he was still in melee range.
>He got clawed once but rend didn't kick in.
>He wisely walked away once the other guy proc'd the Attack of Opportunity.
>He then failed to mentally process that giant ground sloths are the size of entire elephants and have massive reach.
>He walked just shy of being out of range of the sloth.
>Both claws hit.
>Rend damage.
>I made two copies of his icon and cut the size in half, drawing a trail of blood in between.
>dude died over an avocado.
We came upon a room with a statue of a giant serpent's mouth, standing on a cylindrical pedestal with handles on each side.
We turned the cylinder counter clockwise, and gold spilled out of the serpent's mouth.
Without investigating further, we turned the cylinder clockwise, and poisonous gas filled the chamber, and we suffocated.
Another was when we encountered a chained basilisk. For some reason I mixed up basilisks with medusas, loudly exclaimed "It's ok, it can't do shit if I close my eyes".
There's now a statue of me covering my eyes somewhere deep underground.
I have never died, but I really want to in my current game because this class is fricking boring. I'm not going to force it, but I'm not going to fight it either.
What is it that makes people think the only way out of adventuring for a character is to die? Yours is perfectly capable of deciding some day that he's found enough treasure to start his own inn or whatever and just retire.
Save or suck vs
>turn to stone
>beam of annihilation
>turn to stone
And
>aura of death
Or something like that, 4 characters in a row.
One turned to stone for being a jackass, his replacement lasted 3 sessions before a TPK, the next got turned to stone because of two shitty rolls against a gorgon, and the one after just got a little too close to a swamp beast of some kind and choked to death on the spot from the stench.
when I bashed in the door of an alien cult all confident and got one-shotted by a laser gun.
Found this fricking amazing Dwarven Mace in this cave that was guarded by some horrible creature that left to chase some bandits. The thing was ultra high quality and had really good stats.
Next hex I am chased by a cave bear and fall into a canyon. There I meet a group of poachers who were hunting the bear but also got chased down here, and now we're all stuck.
Bear comes down, murders all of them like fricking nothing, then I get a bunch of horrible rolls in a row and I die to the fricking thing too.
And my character was a dwarf, by the way. I was so happy to have found that mace.
>Playing Earthdawn, the party are part of an airship crew, who was send to establish diplomatic relations to the other cities, the adepts are helping them with their problems to do so
>Party consists of a young and very shy and insecure human elementalist, a optimistic and friendly windling cavalryman riding on his winged bat creature and me, a by elvish standarts young 64 year old air sailor, who while still beeing your typical elvish pretty boy, behaves like an old greybearded human sailor of that age, because he grew up in that environment
>The adventure starts with us coming back to a town from another mission, with the townspeople beeing in a panic, because some of them were bitten by something and then started sleeping for hours, many of them not remembering anything - after a short investigation, we discover that it were some weird, but relativly harmless swamp lizards, who a very suspicious merchant, also only in parts remembered, as if something were missing, sold as eggs a couple days before on the market and after hearing that he told about going south, we make out the next city were he could be headed too
>To catch this bad boy quickly, we decide to take the airship, arriving at the city by night, who is shrouded in complete darkness, even the airship harbour on a big hill the city was build around, has curiously no lights, we decide to land, light the lights of the harbour and after discussing it, head into the town - saving the people here outwaying the obvious danger presented
>Oh, why didn't I just listen to the wimpy elementarist kid
>Head into the town - which we now see there is giant dome of dark mist around, which also dampens our lights as we enter, the air beeing colder, the more we get into it, which is also roamed by its inhabitants, with their skin decaying and them trying to knock our lights out - literally in this case, they attack us and knock our lanterns out our hands
>After killing a few of them - beeing relativly good at fighting, even before they tried that shit with the lights, we notice that the bleed unlike normal undead and the decay seems to be afflict mostly the outer layers, after I cut one open with my sword in battle, his insides quickly start decaying too
>We manage to make it near the market place but after getting attacked from hordes of them, but all loose our lanterns only guided by the glow of the flaming buffs to our weapons the elementalist provided
>I guess to explain my next action, I must note at this point, that my understanding was, that the darkness was decaying / eating the people alive and once they became controlled by it, had also destroyed all the light sources in the city to spread it - partly because the gm mentioned with our first encounter how the guy had covered himself in a big scarf and hood - me thinking, that it was to protect himself from the darkness eating at his skin - because demons in earth dawn are more about inflicting pain then killing, that made sense to me
>So, also in a bit of a panic, I decide that we light one of the hay roofs of the house whichs walls we were pushed too before, to create a diversion while we head to the church and all the other buildings in the city were survivors could be - and if we don't find anything, just get the frick out of there
>Except it turns out, that the entire city is made out of houses with stray roofs, so things get out of hand rather quickly, total chaos breaks loose and we run, followed by a terrible screaming beast we don't see and a giant zombie horde out of there, up to our ship and set sail, flying our course around the city engulfed by flame, while planning our next actions - curiously the screams of the beast never get nearer or more distant, as if it is allways in the same distance to us
>Things get worse from here
>We talk to the captain who mid conversation is weirded out. What screaming do you hear? The creepy one? Or you mean this? He says, looks at with completely insane looks opens his mouth:
>I and the windling, who helped me set fire to the roof, piss ourselves completely and nearly try to jump of the ship, to some degree with my also out of character, I will admit
>Meanwhile the wimpy elementarist has the best willpower roll of his life and suceeds his demonology check finally good enough to make sense of the situation
>First off, the screaming beast is a demon servant who cursed us, so we will be rendered ill in two days and die in the next two weeks, it is a undead who is for that, very intelligent
>He was lured into the city, by the suffering of the inhabitants, after the whole darkness thing happened, after which they descended into panic, as you could expect
>The inhabitants were all still alive tough, the merchant brought a cursed artifact there, that drove them insane and made them unable to sleep and the decay was just an illusion caused by it
>IbroughtthemthelightIalone.jpg
>So we killed like a lot of innocent people, or better I did - after managing to calm them down, the elementarist told us all that and from that point on, my character as quite ready to accept that fault
>Next day, we hatch a simple plan - via his astral sight, the elementarist could make out the demon servant and the cursed artifacts location
>The small windling will enter the chimney of the building the artifact is located in, while I try to kill the demon servant, because once the artifact is destroyed, the people will all start sleeping
>Things don't go that well, the elementarist who buffed us before, should initially only have provided aid from the ship, slinging rocks and shit, has to come down and help the windling to destroy the artifact
>Atleast I manage to hold the demons and the coming "zombies" attention long enough for them to do it, before getting downed by one of his critical attacks, while not landing a single hit, because I roll like absolute shit
>Earthdawn to be like that, but thats tue to the system itself
>They somehow manage to kill the demon, but not to save my character - who with his last words declares, that he will take all the blame for this, just like he declared to the captain, directly after the elementarist explained everything, promising that he would make both of them return alive and with the curse lifted - and if he himself should make it, he will await his sentencing, in his fear not having been any better than his cousins of the bloodwood, who he wanted to get away from by sailing in the sky
Its not necessarly dumb, just very bone-headed and the DM was kinda impressive how I completely played into the Demons hand. Biggest on Table Feltening so far.
Tomb of Horrors
Poked head into sphere of annihilation.
Just winged it with step 2 of a 3 step time travel ritual.
Drink some water from a special cup, stasis your body. Eat a scale produced by a special jug, accelerate your mind. Create and sit in a perfectly spherical room, orientation within the sphere decides forward or backward travel.
Lived 300 years counting pores on my friends faces as 5 seconds passed. Ended up being one of my favourite Delta Green campaigns, his soul was preserved in a 'cursed' knife he wielded, but eternal battle as the only dude with a rifle in a world of ancient greeks sounds pretty chill compared to most deaths in DG.
My GM is so cool though, he made this for the finale of the campaign taking place on 5 islands and a timelocked ancient empire, weaving through time and islands and 5 different cults worshipping 5 different gods. Frickin' love you martin.
Cooked alive by the Warlock using Wall of Fire like a fricking moron. Ended up downing himself with it half a round later, too. This was after a campaign utterly filled with getting hit by friendly fire from a party of nothing but casters to back up my lone Fighter. I think I took more friendly fire damage than damage from actual enemies.
>Fiend Warlock
>Light Cleric
>Wild Sorcerer
>Lore Bard that was allergic to healing and buff spells
The real fool was me for not solving the problem sooner.
I "died" after a car crash but they brought me back (kinda wish they didn't). I came out of it pretty well except my left hand twitches when I think about cars and I drop what I'm holding most times.
>be ninja, master of espionage
>my shinobi ways don't allow me to eat or drink anything strangers serve me
>but I love a good cup of tea
>NPC offers me tea
>entire party declines
>later, while others aren't looking, I decide to sneak a cup of tea for myself
>drink the tea
>other characters find me dead from poisoning later
I'm still pissed at the GM for that. He didn't need to instantly kill my cool character. It was 4 years ago.
>Playing VTM
>be Brujah
>Frenzy
>in Elysium
>surrounded by Elders
yeah I didn't survive for long
>D20 Star Wars game
>Party of dark side users
>Basically playing a Bothan Cyber-ninja
>Find some Sith Alchemists, offering magical dark side baths that can offer permanent enchancments
>"Shit yeah, improvement to go with all the cybernetics!"
>Arrange for bath that gives troll-like regeneration
>Character goes in for a dip
>"Roll constitution save"
>Nat 1
>"Roll to confirm"
>Nat 1
>Characters body dissolves into the alchemical bath.
>Technobarbarian Wookie in party shrugs, and also goes to take the bath the small, weak man disappeared into.
>Technobarbarian PC gets their ass haunted, and the rest of the campaign has to fight between his normal self and the soul of the bothan ninja controlling the body
It was a really fricking dumb way to die, but it was actually really hilarious.
Shot point blank by another party member who had an Oathbow at level 4 for some reason.
Purple Worm'd. Thanks for playing!