[The video opens with eerie, ethereal music playing in the background. The scene is dimly lit, with flickering candles casting shadows on the walls. The camera focuses on a figure seated at a grand, ancient-looking throne. The figure appears to be a Lich, their skeletal visage illuminated by a soft, ghostly glow.]
Lich: [Clears throat] Ahem. Greetings, mortals, and... others. It has come to my attention that there have been... concerns raised regarding the diversity, or lack thereof, within my undead army. As the eternal ruler of this realm, I feel it is my duty to address these accusations with the gravity they deserve.
[The Lich pauses, adjusting the crown atop its bony head before continuing.]
Lich: Firstly, let me express my sincerest apologies to those who have felt marginalized or underrepresented within my legion of the deceased. It was never my intention to foster an environment of exclusion or discrimination. As an ancient being of immense power and intellect, I realize now that I have a responsibility to ensure that all beings, regardless of race, creed, or state of decomposition, feel welcome and valued within my dominion.
[The Lich gestures dramatically with a skeletal hand, causing wisps of dark energy to dance around its fingers.]
Lich: Moving forward, I pledge to actively recruit from a more diverse pool of deceased individuals. Whether you were once a mighty warrior, a cunning rogue, or even a humble farmer, know that there is a place for you within the ranks of my undead army. Diversity is not only a strength but a necessity in the eternal struggle for domination and conquest.
[The Lich leans forward slightly, its glowing eyes fixed on the camera with an intensity that sends shivers down the spine.]
Lich: Furthermore, I understand that representation is important, both on and off the battlefield. To that end, I will be appointing a Diversity and Inclusion Wight to oversee recruitment efforts and ensure that all undead under my command are treated with the respect and dignity they deserve. Any instances of discrimination or mistreatment will not be tolerated and will be swiftly dealt with.
[The Lich leans back in its throne, a faint smirk playing across its skeletal features.]
Lich: In conclusion, let it be known that I am committed to fostering a more inclusive and diverse undead army. Together, we will conquer new realms, vanquish our enemies, and prove once and for all that diversity is our greatest strength. Thank you.
[The eerie music fades as the video comes to a close, leaving viewers to ponder the words of the Lich and what changes may come to its dark domain.]
Ah, so there was some backlash after his horde ate that mass gay wedding. Well, nice to see him trying some PR tactics.
The kingdom of gays will get special commemorative rainbow ribbons on their rib cage
>I will be appointing a Diversity and Inclusion W***t
You have a containment thread, sloptard.
this is funposting, moron, learn to go along with he thread you unimaginative homosexual
Why don't you go back to your BUTTHEAD containment thread?
THE SKELETON WARS MUST GO ON!
>a faint smirk playing across its skeletal features
But he's a skeleton. How do even smirk as a skeleton, it's always all smile with them.
Low quality posts are against the rules. Put the question or idea you want to discuss in the OP, communicated clearly and directly. I won't warn you again.
Eat the entirety of my ass
Nice one OP. Almost busted out laughing here in the office.
kkkkkkkkkkk
Best post.
Frick your gay-ass diversity, and frick your stupid skeletons. In this household we believe in Wight Supremacy.
KEK
>Low quality posts are against the rules
So delete your post, c**tface
Okay the OP and this got me good, haven't laughed this much at a post in a while
not reading all that, happy for you or sorry that happened. Then again, you are using aislop for pictures and text, It's immediately identifiable. Boring NPC
>diversity and inclusion wight
>wight
This bigotry will not stand!
Is he the lich the conquered the world in the John Goodman greentext?
>The inhuman soulless abomination is the HR department
Was it ever actually a satire?
Yes, but do we get wheelchair-accessible dungeons?