This game is my fricking balls. Why the frick is it such bullshit?

This game is my fricking balls. Why the frick is it such bullshit? Hard is one thing, but don't put invisible fricking blocks right above a pit, that's some kaizo shit. If Miyamoto was in front of me right now, I'd tell him it was a real honor to meet him, then slap him right in the fricking mouth, and he would understand immediately. He would be like, "Okay, I deserved that".

I mean, I hated SMB2/USA, like REALLY hated it, but shit, I'd rather have had that than this. This isn't so much Super Mario Bros. 2 as it is Super Mario Bros. CBT. You have the option of Mario or Luigi, which is basically "do you want to get fricked by pits that are too wide or by blocks that are too narrow?" It's a fricking shitshow, even playing the later versions that save at every single level it's a pain in the ass.

I literally just beat SMB1-3, 3 with the e-Reader levels, World with 96 exits, Yoshi's Island getting 100 on every level, but this shit? This is just fricking torment. It makes me wonder how we reached this point as a species. How did a sentient being look at this shit where you have pits, piranha plants, and hammer bros in a tiny enclosure with no space to jump, and conclude "ah yes this will be a really fun experience". You know why this was the best-selling Famicom Disk System game? Because it cost 500¥, or in other words, *FIVE* FRICKING *DOLLARS*. What a deal, you spend five bucks and in turn you get a hammer bro shoving his hammers up your ass while a piranha plant sucks your dick and lakitu conks you on the head with spinies.

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  1. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    This game is a fricking nightmare and every second I spend with it is driving me deeper into despair.
    >keep sliding off of one-tile-wide blocks as Luigi
    >switch to Mario
    >can't jump on top of the invisible blocks that are mandatory for finishing the level because Miyamoto and Jesus both hate me
    >switch to Luigi
    >slide off more bullshit one-tile-wide blocks because my stopping distance is 50 meters

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Are you a super player?
      No?
      Then you're not supposed to be playing this game.
      Master the original SMB first before you tackle this.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        I find SMB1 trivial but Lost Levels still gives me trouble

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          Then you are not a super player.
          Beat both loops of SMB1 without dying or warping before trying again.

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            >without warping
            That’s a given.
            If you use warps, you didn’t beat the game. That’s one thing LL got right.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        I beat SMB1 deathless and warpless twice (NES and then All-Stars) immediately before starting 2J

        It's a hard, but consistent game. Once you learn how to deal with each stage, you will be able to beat it without too much trouble.

        Being so aggressive towards a game you dislike and it's fans won't bring you anywhere, though. Mario games after this went in a very different direction and none of the later 2D games are hard per say. Whether you will like SMB2J after mastering it or not is something I cannot tell you - you might still hate it, but if you take your time and master it, you will get to at least understand how the game works.

        What's wrong with the springs themselves in FDS? I know if you have too many sprites on the screen, the springs can fail to load (which can be annoying in the letter levels), but aside from that, I don't remember them being particularly troublesome.

        Is this your pitch to start an AVGN ripoff channel?

        Nah I'm enjoying it, I was just letting off steam because it was driving me fricking nuts. But I was enjoying my anger.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          Okay was I just playing sloppy last night or are the lettered worlds trivial compared to 6-8

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          >But I was enjoying my anger.

  2. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >This game is my fricking balls
    what did he mean by that?

  3. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Filtered.
    But yes it's a hard ass game. Furthest I made it without continuing was world 6. The game has save feature but still, it's the only Mario game that still kicks my ass and makes me spend a continue... A lot more than just one.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      I'm on 6-3 right now and this shit isn't challenging anymore, it's just sadistic. Every level is just "how best can we just ruin the player's life?" at this point. It's not like the game doesn't give you unlimited attempts, it just tries to wear you down spiritually.
      I'm still enjoying it but I'm fuming, we really had no idea how good we had it with SMB USA.

  4. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    > new games suck, they don't give you any challenge, handholding you constantly
    > zoomers are afraid of any challenge, can't finish anything without savestates and unlimited continues

    > this old game is too challenging and I can't take it Miyamoto you suck

    The irony strikes you like invisible brick above the pit.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      THE GAME GIVES YOU UNLIMITED CONTINUES YOU POSER FRICK

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah that’s the normal experience, they didn’t frick around, and it was only five bucks after all.

      >I like sex
      >”YOU DON’T LIKE GETTING ASS-RAPED THOUGH, THE IRONY”

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        >>I like sex
        >>”YOU DON’T LIKE GETTING ASS-RAPED THOUGH, THE IRONY”

        You didn't beat the game.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          But I will, and then I'll beat you, you little brat.

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            No wonder you’re having a rough time, I swear All-Stars fricked up the general physics just enough to make it way harder than it needs to be.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      SNES was the sweet spot, that's when they got it right with both fun and difficulty/challenge. NES was too hard. Can't speak for modern games as I haven't played them

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        >masterpiece
        >those fricking hands
        You AI Tards are hilarious

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          That's the prompt idiot

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            And it sure worked out for them, churning out complete shit like that.

  5. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >You know why this was the best-selling Famicom Disk System game? Because it cost 500¥

    A lot of FDS games were super cheap, especially the disk writer ones

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      And if it was full price it would have sold 2.5 copies instead of 2.5 million

      >I literally just played a bunch of baby games, so I'm really good at games, but this ... THIS IS TOO MUCH!!

      You're a b***h. You got rekt. Miyamoto would laugh at you if you told him his video game made you cry. In fact, I'M laughing at you.

      Kek I can’t believe there’s a SMB2J defense force, what a wreck of a human being you are. Maybe after I beat it I’ll beat your drunk of a mother too for bringing you into the world.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Kek I can’t believe there’s a SMB2J defense force

        Which division are you from, squirt? Banjo-Kazooie? Super Mario 64? Donkey Kong 64, maybe?

        > Maybe after I beat it
        We'll talk when that happens. Right now you're only bragging and not doing anything else. Maybe you CAN'T beat it. Maybe big boys league isn't for you just yet.

  6. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >I literally just played a bunch of baby games, so I'm really good at games, but this ... THIS IS TOO MUCH!!

    You're a b***h. You got rekt. Miyamoto would laugh at you if you told him his video game made you cry. In fact, I'M laughing at you.

  7. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    This is what happens when nintendo babies think they're hardcore gamers because they beat Yoshi's Island

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Nintendo babie
      Cute
      I never played any of those games before last April or so, and I only bring them up because I was surprised how ass-blastingly bullshit this shit is compared to the secret levels in SMW and YI. Tubular was a fricking cakewalk compared to this.

      It’s not even that it’s hard, there’s just so much that seems deliberately done to piss players off. Completely and literally blind jumps for instance.

      >Kek I can’t believe there’s a SMB2J defense force

      Which division are you from, squirt? Banjo-Kazooie? Super Mario 64? Donkey Kong 64, maybe?

      > Maybe after I beat it
      We'll talk when that happens. Right now you're only bragging and not doing anything else. Maybe you CAN'T beat it. Maybe big boys league isn't for you just yet.

      I just got to 9-1. Finishing it is a matter of time. And when I’m done with D-4, I expect you to kneel.

  8. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    I beat the all-stars version when I was no older than nine years old.

  9. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >3 with the e-Reader levels, World with 96 exits, Yoshi's Island getting 100 on every level
    I have news for you OP, since you've beaten every Mario game 100% so for you most likely want to do the same with 2J. To unlock the final 4 worlds (A-B) you need to beat 1-8 eight times. Can do it with warps though. Have fun

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      All-Stars only has 9 as unlockable, A-D are unlocked by default

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Oh nevermind you are playing the babby All-Stars version that saves you after every level and has functional springs. There weren't many of those but remember how the springs functioned in the original Famicom/NES version of 1? This is just genius, Tezuka looked at them and thought
        >This shit just doesn't work alright, we couldn't program it properly, we should put a lot of these in the second game and make entire levels built around this bouncing mechanic. Now this will be challenging!

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          It’s a trade-off, the port is kinda fricked up such that some situations are genuinely unwinnable as Mario when they aren’t in the FDS version
          Also, not OP.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          It's a hard, but consistent game. Once you learn how to deal with each stage, you will be able to beat it without too much trouble.

          Being so aggressive towards a game you dislike and it's fans won't bring you anywhere, though. Mario games after this went in a very different direction and none of the later 2D games are hard per say. Whether you will like SMB2J after mastering it or not is something I cannot tell you - you might still hate it, but if you take your time and master it, you will get to at least understand how the game works.

          What's wrong with the springs themselves in FDS? I know if you have too many sprites on the screen, the springs can fail to load (which can be annoying in the letter levels), but aside from that, I don't remember them being particularly troublesome.

  10. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Is this your pitch to start an AVGN ripoff channel?

  11. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Frick this guy

  12. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Finally getting to this part after all these years seeing it was interesting.

  13. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    ITT: OP getting ownt by a 35+ year old game made for little boys and little girls and writing off his rants and untethered rage as "enjoying his anger" while unworried bystanders watch and point and laugh at OP for being a noobcuck

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      To be fair, SMB2J was made for all kind of people, not just kids, it was made in response of SMB being a sensation and people mastering the frick out of the original SMB. 2J/LL is a challenge for those who played lots and lots of SMB1.
      I like how it subverts player expectations and trolls without hesitation. Like the surprise of getting a "downgrade-up", or a warp zone that sends you back.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        It's okay OP. We won't tell your friends and family about how much you suck at Mario. Just beat the game. That's all you gotta do.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          I'm

          Filtered.
          But yes it's a hard ass game. Furthest I made it without continuing was world 6. The game has save feature but still, it's the only Mario game that still kicks my ass and makes me spend a continue... A lot more than just one.

          If you care to read my post, I'm not trashing the game, I like it a lot.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      It's okay OP. We won't tell your friends and family about how much you suck at Mario. Just beat the game. That's all you gotta do.

      OP here, beat 8-4 last night then did 9 and A-D after waking up. See

      Frick this guy

      I think the difficulty really did peak around worlds 6-8, the rest really were quite simple. 9 in particular was probably made easy on purpose since you only had one life in the OG version.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Good job
        >9 in particular was probably made easy on purpose since you only had one life in the OG version.
        Well you don't have to beat 9 in the original, it just loops endlessly and when you die the game still congratulates you

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        World 9 is just a goofy little reward for enduring the hell of completing a no-warp run. It was never made to be a challenge, even with the one life limit.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          9-3 didn’t have any enemies and 9-4 was just letters, so yeah, I believe it.

  14. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    My biggest gripe with playing the original FDS version (or a NES conversion of it) was that the maze levels in the castle levels lacked any feedback on whether or not you took a correct or incorrect path.
    The All-Stars version would give audio cues when you took a correct or incorrect path, but the FDS version was incredibly frustrating with trying to figure out and learn the correct path through the maze. I would run out of time before I could figure out the path.

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