Well Ganker? Go ahead and list your crimes.
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Well? Go ahead and list your crimes.
Well Ganker? Go ahead and list your crimes.
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>Balatro
Gambling?
more like cheating
>how do you have 10 aces anon?
I'm not russian or american I don't get arrest for no reason.
So what you live on an alien planet?
Libya
>Slay the Spire
Burglary?
>tomb raider
animal cruelty
Arrested? Nah I'm getting a medal for the massacres I did.
>Helldivers 2
statutory rape
CSA.
regularly hanging out with an elementary school girl at the park and encouraging her to run away from her parents
>patapon 3
Uhhh idk, animal cruelty? Arson? Mass murder? destruction of property?
Based patapon enjoyer.
>mh4u
I guess animal cruelty?
>Tape to Tape
excessive bodychecking and farting. life with no possibility of parole for me i’m guessing
>omg lemme appeal to the nerd demographic because im painfully uninteresting with 0 personality and a cute but average appearance that doesn't make a whole lot of waves, I know I'll say I suck at vidya and just stare listlessly into the camera I'm sure that'll get me some attention from someone
I hate women unironically.
Stfu bro why u typing a storm
Just accept women want to be loved and adored, it’s their nature and modern technology has invented a way for them to do that from the house. It’s not a big deal imo, dont forget women have been seething about video games since the 80s
me too man, much love from kazakhstan
apparently, killing the left wing
why do they gotta side with the bugs?
Endless Legend as the volcano faction so I guess genocide and environmental terrorism?
>Sons of the Forest
Murder and cannibalism
...playing card games for children?
>sending people's souls into the Shadow Realm
A fate worse than death.
Shadow realm was impressively done censorship, in the original they just killed people
>Uncharted 3
genocide, I guess.
Banging high school students.
That is not illegal.
Did you pay your taxes and declared all the loot?
Shooting an annoying paki and his harem before stealing the milk.
>The Evil Within
Thought crimes, I guess?
>EFT
mass murder and grand theft
digital piracy
guess
Deicide.
Luckily courts are not sure what to do about it.
Crimes against humanity.
>thief
breaking and entering, trespassing, assault with a blunt weapon resulting in concussions and serious head trauma
Joke's on you, there won't be anyone left alive to arrest me
would marry and teach to play casual games to play together
>diablo 2
oh shit guys i killed the great satan i'm getting sniped soon
shooting robots and jumping on my dog
>World in Conflict
Uh, warcrimes? Or being too based?
>Armored core for answer
I think im not getting arrested, but executed on sight
>Ape Escape
Monkeying around
>space piracy in Star Traders
You're all fricking welcome. I put us all into the future. Plus I'm just gonna break out. And also frick Thulun.
>EDF
Pretty much everything is legal, or unavoidable but necessary in the service of national defense and in a state of emergency.
I may be getting courtmartialled though for some of those friendlies I launched into the next zip code with my shotgun, or the ones that got vaporized by airstrikes
Genocide
>Factorio
I was merely defending myself while trying to leave, and besides it all happened outside any recognised jurisdiction I hope.
Barely a misdemeanor on the Stellaris scale of fricked up shit.
It was the duty of the natives to render aid, instead they attacked you. it was a self defense situation.
Assassination
Terrorism
Destruction of public property
Destruction of private property
Trespassing
I beat AI on extreme in AOE by just collecting relics and no killing so maybe building without planning permission?
Vigilantism?
>Darkest Dungeon
workplace safety violations
War crime? My only crime is incompetence.
Post shipworks stats
Will do if this thread still exists in an hour. I can tell you it's expensive. Like between 50-70,000. T:W is 7. And the landing gear was fixed and improved. Picrel is almost the same model.
T:W is actually 6. Confused it with a different build.
>Confused it with a different build
This one specifically.
Warcrimes.
>Baldur's gate 3
Buggery
420 noscoping troons
>Manhunt 2
Shit!
No, I'm innocent. Frick man, I didn't do it!
Choking out a bunch of people and robbing black market shops
>modded minecraft
I'm going to jail for building a plutonium breeder reactor
>Nioh 2
Genocide of the japanese
Poaching
Monster Hunter
large scale terrorism, genocide
>genshin impact
murdering every pet bird of a lonely boy on a bridge
>Modded Skyrim
Trespassing, murder, rape, necrophilia, cannibalism, drug possession, squatting, looting, violence against women, racially motivated hate crimes
No littering?
No, that's rude
>Gran Turismo 4
maybe speeding or vehicular manslaughter
Raiding and pillaging while talking shit about Odin and Loki.
War thunder
So war crimes, i can live with that those israelites deserved it.
Having sex with demons is not a crime
>violated princess
uh oh...
being a bad game is a crime.
Yes im still mad
It was a terrible successor to one of the most visionary games of all time
It was a masterpiece compared to the awful shit that is 99% of ero games
>succubus duel
I get arrested for bullying third rate duelists with fourth rate decks until they cry.
My favorite game is Bejeweled. There is no possible crime that I could be charged with.
how about the crime of being a woman
It's not about your favorite but your last.
So you could be arrested for being an illiterate homosexual.
Grand larceny and destruction of property valued in excess of $1,000,000. How do you plead?
Antisemitism
I'm getting an immediate death sentence on sight for dropping a space colony.
War crimes
The charges?
All of them.
>Another Code Recollection
Trespassing, theft, child endangerment, and impeding a police investigation.
>Sims 4
Rape
Hm.
Loitering, poaching and illegal construction, plus violation of next to any work-safety measure known to mankind, but good claiming jurisdiction on MASSAGE-2(A-B)b in the Akycha system.
>GBO2
Frick man, I don't want to think about the sheer cost of mecha fighting in a city and destroying it.
>Monster Musume emulated
My crime: Having sex with cat girls
My sentence: having sex with cat girls
>Fallout 4
Uhhh sacrificing a whole community because im in a cult(twice technically), Cannibalism, excessive drug use, Killing leaders of...2 organisations, killing a lot of innocwnt people less or more conciously, Obtaining wild animals, Having and waving araund a toxic object
>Genocide
>Multiple charges of manslaughter
>Arsonism
>Destruction of public property/Vandalism
>Assorted smuggling
>Insider trading
>Multiple charges of obstruction of justice
>Hate speech
>Obscene acts in public
>Cannibalism
>Psychological abuse
>Hacking
>Religious hate crime
>Squatting
>Heavy drug abuse
That should be all of it I guess
I was terrified for a second because i thought i knew her in real life
>DBD
Chasing bawds and stabbing them to death
Me and 300 other people got together and jumped a giant shark, cactus, lizard, robot dog & gorilla, and a tree.
War Crimes
Murder
Homicide
Assisted murder
Manslaughter
Serial killer
Assisted suicides
Stealing
>The Case of the Golden Idol
Indiana Jones-style magical antique theft? Murder by immolation? The crime of indiligence?
I'm not Picard!
Picard fed the troll
Sisko didn't feed the troll
sisko is such a fricking sissy no idea why so many people love him and he's only a Black person because they wanted to fill in the usual Black person quota
most intelligent Ganker post
>Darktide
Killing an entire hospital's worth of diseased people with a chainsaw
>Pepper Grinder
Mostly murder and destruction of property.
>valkyria chronicles 3
nothing, killing your fellow men is ok during war
>Alice Madness Returns
Nothing
>Civilization VI
Good luck with that, I'm above the law, I'm untouchable.
>Elden Ring FTH/ARC build
>arrested for being a religious schizo murder hobo
I beat thousands of people to death with sticks
Accidentally shooting the hostage with a bomb strapped to his chest.
>keeps looking at herself
I hate women unironically.
>Rignetta's Adventure
Does it count as beastiality if it was non-consensual?
Section 307, German Criminal Code
A gacha so gambling
None
It's not like there's police anyway
Your crime was making the same mistakes humanity did and your punishment is eternity.
What game?
Talos Principle 2
Necrophilia, Cannibalism, mass-murder, theft, arson, and those are just the ones I can name from the top of my head
>Elden Ring chicken farm
Hardly doubt I would get arrested for that.
>Latest league in Path of Exile
Wasting my time.
YEAH I KILLED A LOOTBUG SO WHAT
Crying on mom's foot
>Rimworld
Everything.
Ganker probes once again it's full of morons. List the crimes but not the game, you ruin the fun you dumbfrick.
So you can't tell what games people are referring to? fake gamer.
>Morrowind
Drug trafficking.
wasting my money on gacha
>Tomb Raider remastered
exterminating endangered species, murdering italians, and having sex with horses
assaulting a gorilla with a spiked barrel
>Barony
Breaking and entering I guess.
based
what class?
I was messing around on Monk last night. So far I've only beaten the game as Conjurer because I'm too fricking aggro, although my favorite is probably Shaman for troll army shenanigans. Kinda wish you could dismiss recruits though.
Also I managed to recruit the unique ghoul boss in my conjurer run and he made it all the way to the Baron Herx fight, which was funny. Although he got locked out of the fight proper due to companion pathing being a mess.
Nice I'm more of a beastman brewer homie so I can charm a succubus
>Granblue gacha
I downed a dozen half elixirs so substance abuse I guess?
>Warframe
Actively fricking with authority/government.
>intravenous
killing 9999 drug addicts and drug distributors and drug workers
>Matchless Kung-fu
They can't arrest me, I'll just shout YOU ARE COURTING DEATH and beat anyone who tries.
>Pocket Card Jockey
>Elden Ring
Assassinating a head of state
Strogg genocide
>Max Payne 2
Mass murder
>minecraft
idk frickin tax evasion?
Put people out of business for my own profit
Anti-competetive business practices.
hoi4?
Your honor, is it a crime against humanity when my enemies were syndicalists?
And, if London didn't want to get nuked, why did it declare war on *my* empire?
no you ok
dismissed from court
Killing gods.
Theft
Rape
Murder
Cannibalism
Regicide
Lollygagging
e-girl Gagging
Thanks Todd
>Atelier Marie: Remake
Drug manufacturing
Killing rats with a giant sword
Raping Tifa
>Lollygagging
>e-girl Gagging
had to gag my lols there
>rashes game
Alas arrested for having sex with an underage monster boy
Pedophilia
outer wilds. Not sure tbh, I used the meditate feature a lot so in effect I cause the death of everyone in the solar system countless times, so maybe that's my crime.
>Tactics Ogre
I will be hung by the neck until dead for war crimes ILL FRICKIN DO IT AGAIN
>Shadow of mordor
genocide, slavery, probably necromancy too.
>Last game you played
League of Legends
>Arrested for
Playing league, I guess.
Raping a little boy over and over until he impregnates me and then eating our babies as a source of food.
what game?
Lona
Dogfighting
>Factorio
Pollution. Endless beautiful pollution. And spaghetti *everywhere*.
>burnout
probably for mass destruction
>DMC5
Unleashing a chain of events that result in the confirmation of demons along with the death of a majority of a cities population. With no survivors, I wouldn't end up charged with anything.
>Victoria 2
Racial hate crimes
Dead Island 2, killing zombies.
It is not a crime.
>Palworld
Animal cruelty, poaching, slavery, hunt of endangered and rare animals, murder.
>genshin
statutory rape
>Pseudoregalia
Tresspassing on private property, bestiality is a low hanging fruit and it's not illegal in some places
Teamkilled an Su-25 and then suffered a wing rip trying to perform an evasion
Looks like that's 2 months solitary for me
>Haha stupid boomers! Do you really believe that vidya really cause violence? Do you think I will headbutt some bricks because I played Mario?
>NOOOOOOOOO DONT PUT ATTRACTIVE FEMALES IN MY GAMES! IT WILL PROGRAM BOYS TO HAVE UNREALISTIC EXPECTATION OF REAL WOMEN.
huh?
>Counter-strike 2
terrorism
>half life 2
murdering hundreds of cops, sedition, doing 9-11
as if anyone is getting anything other than medals and praise for all the alien bugs and robots they killed
>Kingsvein
wisps are not human, graven are not human, so anything i do is not against human rights
>P3R
Disturbing the peace
>Spec Ops: The Line
Genocide
Mass murder
Mass property destruction
War crimes
Hate crimes
Treachery
Corruption
Conspiracy
Mutilation
Terrorism
killing blacks (murder/manslaughter/hate crime?)
Resident Evil 5
>Dirt rally 2
gee I wonder
>Barotrauma
In my submarine, I am the law. But according to the other factions, nuking a couple of outposts is a crime, so that
>Lost Life
Uhhh
Not getting arrested because it counts as winning an argument
>Planetside 2
My crime is not killing enough NC and VS
>Age of Wonders: Planetfall
>xenocide
>use of wmd to scorch the entire planet surface
Crimes? I'll get a commendation
>infinite craft
Drugmaking and bombmaking I guess.
Beating the frick out of local wildlife and using them to make a bigger animal beating stick.
I'll never be tried before Den Haag for firebombing Dresden.
A short hike
Zoophilia? Idk
Dating minors
>being out past curfew
do cities really have curfews outside of warzones?
i go to the seven eleven with my teen sister at midnight for ice cream and a lotto ticket.
sex with ____ girls
i just finished divinity 2 pure run minutes ago
i never hurt anyone,only my undead and demon army did
>rapelay
i would be arrested for being sick as frick
>rapelay
>Lies of P
I dunno he's a puppet but I guess it still counts as pedophilia maybe?
>literally called "Lies of P"
Perjury
>impersonation of a living person
>public nuisance
>deep rock galactic
damaging company resources ie: scout
>Skyrim
Rape
> Pacific Drive
DUI
>Streets of Rogue
Theft
Trespassing
Destruction of public property
Illegal possession of narcotics
Genocide
Public littering
>War Criminal
And I will go down in history
>spelunky
Cruelty towards animals? Black archeology?
A whole laundry list of things, but to narrow it down:
Murder for hire.
Aggravated battery.
Criminal impersonation.
>starsector
no gogaine officer, jsut botato flour :DDDD
IS DAT A FUGGING AI GORE :DDD
>Persona 3 Reload
>inb4 sex wih a minor
15 is the age of consent in my country, so I'm good.
For running away with the president's daughter
Nina is such a cutie. I mean later, when she grows up.
Kid Nina is cute too. Reminds me of the girl from Grandia 1
>zeno clash 2
Me and my bro jailbroke a serial kidnapper, trespassed, and beat the shit out of countless people.
I don't get how that works since law hasn't existed in Zenozoik for a very long time, but I can see us getting 3 to 5 years if it counts.
>Factorio
Colonial genocide
I'll be arrested for violently beating up women with bugs
They can't arrest you if you switch to CT Arakune.
They still can though, since I suck ass at this game
But I'll still play it, since it's a lot better than what I've previously played
>Ck3 Princes of Darkness
Trying to put a wooden stake through Emmanuel Macron's heart I guess
X4 Foundations
Pirating
War Profiteering
Mass Murder
Smuggling Illicit Goods
Punching god in the face
>Tiki Minigolf minigame in Madagascar (GCN)
Poaching.
>Vintage Story
Construction without a permit in a non-residential zone, and wolf poaching?
>Nioh
total youkai death I guess
nonconsensual coitus and impregnation
>F-Zero 99
Speeding
I'm arrested for stacking a bunch of gunpowder barrels to blow up my enemies.
Baldur's Gate 3.
Nuking some megacorp.
Driving under the influence of alcohol, speeding, excessive speeding, public indecency, harrassment, assault, battery, aggravated assault, vandalism, 3rd degree murder, disorderly conduct, theft, selling of a controlled substance
>monster hunter
hunting without a license? not even sure the official name for that and im pretty sure it'd just be a slap on the wrist
>Lisa: The Painful
Frick. I’m getting arrested for nearly everything.
defending my city from being invaded by darkness-worshipping invaders who want to destroy my god.
>Battle Brothers
Taking part in mercenary activities, assault, murder, property destruction, looting, grave robbing, extortion, melon mugging
>snoyderman 2
Assuming I'm tried as both spidermans and venom
Vigilantism
Destruction of public property
Unlawful access to police files
Unleashing a Bioweapon on the populace of New York
Fleeing from law enforcement
Attempted Manslaughter
Manslaughter
And disturbance of public peace thanks to that rancid addidas suit
Don’t forget the cannibalism.
>FF7 Remake
Terrorism, attacking a federal facility, nuclear sabotage, use of explosives
>helldivers 2
manslaughter
>Helldivers 2
I'm getting a medal.
>God of war
Killing gods
Arrested for building comfy home, cooking meat, and murdering monsters.
Probably something involving slavery or abuse because I was playing Pikmin.
Arrested for assault. More precisely, for violently throwing a hat at people's faces.
>Ratchet & Clank
Uhhh vandalism i presume? Ah also the stolen ship and the bribe to the bouncer.
At least serious case of manslaughter and battery charges, possibly domestic abuse.
Guess the game.
assassination of the personification of evil
slamming pallets down on people
>tomb raider
Horse fricking
>killing floor 1
well since this is england I'm sure zeds would be considered a protected class or something and I'd get arrested for hate crimes
nobody cares
I still stick my wiener in my disc game's hole after 100% them, then I sell them online to ensure the buyer does not enjoy the game more than me.
cutting down millions of japanese demons
Stealing a dead man's boots, messing with the crime scene.
AC Valhalla.
Putting a spear on the ground and then jumping on someone's back so the spear goes through the back of their throat.
>TF2 Kogastopia
The numerous number of warcrimes that come with playing TF2 regularly (killing enemies who surrendered, using weapons that cause more harm than needed, killing medics, shooting as medic, pretending to be enemy combatants, etc), but also rape and pedophilia.
Same shit they got Michael Vick for.
>train dogs to fight each other
>literally worse than Hitler
>train dogs to fight humans
>nobody bats an eye
>kill dogs yourself
>everyone calls you a hero cop
I don't get it.
Exploding an entire planet.
>Jagged alliance 3
Is Black person smashing a crime?
>Castle Crashers
Castle crashing
>Strange Journey, Chaos route
Being an anprim
Insecticide.
ROCK & STONE!
>Blue Archive
B-bwos...
I can hear the sirens arriving...
>Warframe
Multiple excessive violations of the Geneva Convention.
Racial Genocide.
Poaching.
>Assassins Creed: Mirage
Terrorism and attempted genocide
>Sifu
Assault?
Bing Chilling
>Atomic Heart
Wanton destruction of property.
Spreading freedom and democracy
>TF2
Mass murder, being a shitty player
>Kings Field
Driving under the speed limit
>another code
Breaking into an abandoned mansion I guess?
Arson
Pitch needed
I killed a baby raptor that I couldn't even eat because I'm a herbivore.
#apatosaurusLife
If Pokemon Showdown counts, then wienerfighting. If not, then I guess poaching and slavery in Palworld?
>trespassing
>burglary
>murder
>gambling
>scamming
>horse poisoning
>heresy (multiple ways)
>fricking the lord's wife
based game
>borderlands 2
wew
Building without a permit
>Unicorn Overlord
Leading an insurrection
>Helldivers 2
Nothing, everything is justified in the name of libertea
>Black Ops 3 Zombies
Uh nothing? I only cleaned up the trash.
Worm wienervoring
Ah yiiss boi
I miss the nitrotitan days, homie went full moron now
>Taiko no tatsujin
Beating a sweet beat I guess.
Public indecency, for attempting to have sex with a service robot
>Second Life
Prostitution
>DJMax
Playing music poorly and annoying people around me?
Probably the non-declaration of antique finds over £1000
Hades
>theft
>vandalism
>trespassing
>conspiracy
>m-murrrderrrr...
>patricide
>deicide
Skateboarding. Wouldnt be the first time
>baldur's gate 3
Well I'm fricked and I am not even a furry.
>thief the black parade mod
rape, necrophilia and burglary
My crimes:
>serving the state
>preventing trash from entering my glorious country
>crushing the rebels
I dunno anon. I think they'd rather be offering me a job.
>soityaa'aio police
what
>blood
using illegal explosives and shooting without a license. but the rest is self defense
>Rapelay
Riding the subway without a ticket
>AC 6
Mass genocide against xenos, civilians mass slaughter, destruction of private property.
It's not genocide if the Unite Nations hasn't dictated that alien lives should be protected yet.
>DS3, blue invader
Vigilanteism, murder and corpse mutilation
Arrested for farming and starting a family.
you already know
rape victim
Well shit, I guess I'm abducting like 200+ girls into my space ship, and then slowly transforming them into paizuri onahaoles using technology to brainwash them, and change their bodies. All while claiming that it's their destiny to do that, and it's my destiny to have a harem.
What the frick is a paizuri onahole, there's no hole between the breasts of a woman.
too many unspeakable crimes to count, but nobody is powerful enough to stop me
based on the last game I played, I'm getting arrested for falling in love with Tifa Lockheart
>Hitman 3
Those deaths were all accidents and you cannot prove I had anything to do with them.
>Minecraft
Violating building codes? I haven't even found a village yet, but when I do the Hague better get ready.
>corpse party
punching women
>punching women
You're gonna get hired not arrested
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHA
Sleeping?
>Elite Dangerous
Taking wanted criminals on a sightseeing tour
>Resident Evil Survivor
Mass shooting I guess?
>"It was self defense your honor"
>"127 times?"
>"Yes."
Terrorism
>Quarantine Crystal
Animal fighting or poaching maybe?
Killing my alien masters
I'm getting UCMJ'ed for calling blue on blue fire support.
>Black Desert Online
Out of season fishing and tresspassing I guess
He who saves a nation violates no law.
>Elden Ring
Conspiracy against the state
>Empire Earth
invading Poland
>Lies of P
Regicide, serial murder, possibly patricide
>project zomboid
looting, multiple first degree murders of sick individuals, carjacking, jaywalking, treespasing and poaching
>Final Fantasy VII Remake
Guess I'll be blowing up nuclear reactors around Europe
>Gnome Warlock in WoW classic
>Having my succubus minion use her sexy skills on enemies to enable me to kill them
Pimping and homicide, I guess.
vouyerism, apparently
>STALKER
shooting people and taking their shit I guess
Nioh, so cultural appropriation
dogfighting
Smuggling nuclear waste to dump onto american soil.
>animal crossing
insider trading
Where do I even begin?
>Murder
>Genocide
>Illegal occupation
>Black market trade
>Illegals arms trade
>Killing fleeing combatants
>Targeting civilians
>Executing POWs
>Slavery
>Rape
>Handing WMDs to terrorists
>Use of Gamma+ level AI cores
>Using AI-Warships
>Various conspiracies
>Espionage
>Drug dealing
>Copyright infringement
>Fraud
>Stealing military assets
>Tax Evasion
>>Tax Evasion
It's fricking over for you.
Don't worry, I bombed space IRS to oblivion and captured, then systematically raped their leader. Now all they do is to deliver more ships and slaves to me.
I can't believe you did the impossible and beat the IRS.
>rimworld
There are no words that can properly describe the horrors I've put my victims through.
>yume 2kki
nothing since killing people that only exist in your head isn't illegal
Kenshi so kidnapping people, flaying them while doing extensive medical work to keep them alive during the process, cutting off their leg so they can't escape and then spending days beating them unconscious on a bed to get stronger.
>Hoi4
War Crimes
>farm sim
I'm not heavy equipment certified and I've been using tractors, combines, PTO equipment, and forklifts all day. Lock me up and throw away the keys.
>Heavily modded rimworld.
Frick, I'd take a while to list them all.
I played as Kimberly in SF6 so probably theft.
>Helldivers 2
Spreading Democracy? I think you go to jail OP, fricking commie
Yelling at lizards.
>Noita
Hiisi genocide.
Bioterrorism
Mass Murder with super powers
Reckless driving.
>Helldivers 2
They're big on democracy so probably for saying women shouldn't be allowed to vote
>DBD
murder
Rape
>BeamNG.drive
hit and run, reckless driving, probably vehicular manslaughter
>triangle strategy
war crimes, most likely
israelite up the ol' gaza, as they say