What the frick did he know anyway?
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What the frick did he know anyway?
Thalidomide Vintage Ad Shirt $22.14 |
Nothing Ever Happens Shirt $21.68 |
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>Hey, Sir Gideon, what did the five fingers say to the face?
He took one look at Hourah Loux and pissed himself.
he knew he couldn't satisfy Marika
all of the spells and that you would do most of the work for him
he knew how to ligma
????
Caspere knew this
Now theres a meme I haven’t seen in a minute.
He had the forbidden knowledge of Zanzibart.
goose woman says you're gay
All.
he's a b***h
>dildo phone
here we go
that's all I got
Less than Vaatividya
all
Not enough, clearly.
the demo was fricking awesome for elden ring. you know how how hard it is to actually get that armor?
I've never gotten it, is it difficult?
It's not hard, that anon is moronic. You just go meet Patches, do like 2 Volcano Manor quests and then Patches has you invade Tragoth and you get the armor.
I'm not moronic
I beat the game 4 times and haven't met Patches once
>beat the game 4 times
>hasn't explored the starting area
Have you considered you might be stupid?
Yeah, trust me. I live with myself.
i still have no fricking idea why they didn't give us gideon's stance as a gesture.
you can use npc animations if you are on PC and got the Collectors Edition™
I'll stick it up anyone's whoo hoo with straight edges
the whole thing was ridiculous and he wanted to fight you to ease his pain
short story he's a pathetic homosexual
Out of all the ballbuster bosses in Elden Ring why’d they have to make Gideon a total joke? He’s the first character to use pyromancies sorceries and miracles all at once, what a cool boss concept
Just needed to double his starting HP and it’s be perfect
because all he does is sit at his lame desk all day like a lazy b***h
the balancing of this game in general is a joke with a bunch of standout cases, this one being particularly egregious since they could have done anything they wanted to keep you from blowing up 90% of his health bar while he stands there talking. I really loved this game but it has some baffling oversights.
listen to the story line when he's trying to frick you. smoke him in the head once. he's dead if you made a good character
he's a fricking nerd
Nah, he needs better poise and status resist
The AI is bad, but the AI for every Soulslike NPC is bad
Bloodborne had an uber NPC enemy who blows him out of the water, was arguably tougher than most bosses too.
Even Ds3 had that lady with the pygmy halberd weapon, she was pretty gnarly
sucks they won't port it to pc. there could be a shit load of awesome mods
>Arguably tougher
The Crow of Cainhurst was definitely tougher than most bosses outside of maybe the DLC bosses.
Crow of Cainhurst is the one and only enemy besides Malenia that I cheesed with zero shame whatsoever
the name is the game should be elden cheese. you have to act like a cheesy boss to beat those cheating wiener suckers
Oh I cheesed plenty, and there wasn't THAT much shame. But absolutely zero with Malenia. Mimic hoarfrost curbstomped with extreme prejudice.
she's a prostitute
too bad they patched the game and made her harder
I'm not about to replay ER any time soon.
they did just add a bunch of free updates. I'm more focused on shitty games like caves of lore
Did they? What did they change? I already found her to be a c**t because I apparently fought a different version from the one everyone told me gets stunlocked (she has infinite poise on demand) and is passive phase 1 (never stops attacking after the initial walk up).
they keep nerfing abilities and weapons with each patch
they only nerfed the blatantly broken weapons. they buffed almost every single weapon class in the game so the game is overall easier now. They increased attack speed and also reduced attack recovery frames for the player so the game is much more lenient in letting you get attacks in.
Unsure if fromsoft did it based on PvE feedback or PvP. If it was PvE feedback that would be funny because im 90% sure everyone complaining about not getting enough attack opportunities are the dual ultra weapon wielding people who want to swing both weapons at the same time every time. Which is ironic because dual wielding was not buffed except for the smaller weapons.
Not the Dorkmoon. The engagement blade got stronger with nearly every patch. And a few others got stronger, like Carian Grandeur or Lions Claw. Really, the only things that got nerfed were ones that were popular. Flame of the Redmanes was slept on for months simply because it was overlooked by ecelebs compared to the likes of Hoarforst Stomp.
As for Malenia, there's still plenty of cheese. Mimic Tear no longer busts her almost solo, but there's plenty of stuff she can't handle. Any sort of delayed casting spell fricks ever, as does the night sorceries. Great shield status pokes still chip her down etc.
Shit is getting buffed while obviouse exploits usually get nerfed. Game was unitonically overall easier before when you could just spam AoW and win every fight without effort.
I beat her a without using my ghosts. it was fricking hard, but it was also first we had edition
>first addition pre patch
It's a good weapon either way
it's still a good weapon even after the nerf
Yeah, you just said what I said but you quoted me while doing it. I guess I'm quoting you while explaining this too.
sorry I'm a gex fan
Pilots license? What for?
I spelled it wrong it's actually gexx
Love you anon, even I make spelling mistakes once and a while.
I make them all the time
It's good as long as you learn from them!
I'm 3 feet away from my pc, but I'm too lazy and phone post
I'm 36 and 3/4ths btw
3/4'' NFT? you trying to lay some pipe?
I was thinking of Gary
I lied yet again
Weird, I vividly remember him having a black jacket on before.
I'm using this right now, not looking forward to fighting Malenia with it. My nuclear option is to use Bloodhound step but apparently that got nerfed.
stomp her ass
she's weak to cold
stuns are the only way to kill her
clobber her b***h ass
great stars with hoar frost stomp just lay wastes bosses. it's too EZ
You didnt beat her homosexual. I died over 30 times. I FRICKING COUNTED. I fought, learned her moves, learned how to roll them, learned their follow ups, learned times I could go for jump attacks and charged attacks, some runs I did nothing but dodge. Besides WF, she's 100% doable without any cheese for average players and even that move can be heavily mitigated by paying attention and figuring out a dodge, or hell, just use BHS (i didn't btw). Every handful of deaths i got further and further until I FINALLY defeated her legit and got my imaginary gold star after I cheesed her like a b***h the first time.
Go back and do it right.
I killed her on my 9th try. you're a loser idiot it's not my problem you're incompetent
Summons and ROB doesn't count
>too dumb to use strategy
My strategy was getting Dragon King's Cragblade and making use of the extend poking range. My buil only had enough fp for 3 weapon arts so I couldn't abuse that either. I stripped most of my armor and just got good at fighting her while using my reach to give me extra breathing room and bait out her 3 hit string more often as it allowed for a full charged attack if not right after the flurry, after her 4th swipe follow up and/or ground slam.
I had a strategy and it didn't involve having ai or other people play the game for me :^]
>I'm too dumb to use strategy and had to rely purely on pattern recognition
lol. Personally, I just parried her to death. Cuts down the process significantly.
The worst part about Fromdrones is that they seriously think anybody respects them for limiting themselves like this. They unironically think this is some grand achievement that puts them in a sekret club
when people figured out these games aren't really that hard they had to come up with some arbitrary handicap nonsense to make themselves feel better
Nobody cares Kek.
Just let people enjoy the game how they like it.
Don't know what you're talking about. I let him finish speaking and he kept melting me. Had 60 vigor strength build. But that only happened in one playthrough and I still don't know why.
>blah blah blah
>help me
I helped gideon. I ended his pathetic suffering
almost all bosses were severely nerfed compared to the original patch, just like all dark souls games.
people who come after the very launch of the game always think it's a joke
I beated the game before any patch was launched and I still think he's a joke back then.
>prostitute ice stomp ftw
I’m begging you to go back to school.
>beated
Too bad you couldn't beat illiteracy.
I'm replaying now after playing at launch, did they nerf the frick out of Caelid or is being lvl 70 and having a +15 weapon this time making it easy for me? I remember the dogs being a nightmarish slog of health and on top of dying faster they also seem to stance break at a single jump r2 to the head. I don't remember them being so easy to bring down before.
i do south caelid at lvl 30 with a +6 weapon, it can be comfortably done if you play to bosses weaknesses ie- use holy vs the deathbird. If mobs are resistant to my damage type then i want to come back with a +9 (you can get like +9-12 doing liurnia stuff.
Its meant to be an alternate zone other than liurnia or altus. you can get a +7 regular weapon just doing limgrave/weeping content. and then go do caelid before starting stormveil, if you are good at the game. The misbegotten + crucible fight seems fine for about that strength, i can usually kill misbegotten before crucible shows up with a +6 weapon. Its tough but it feels like a proper bossfight.
Note that northern Caelid is actaully "dragonbarrow" and is actually a high lvl area more appropriate for like lvl 60-80
>et him finish speaking
Well see, there's your problem
Elden Ring is more of a numbers game than any other Souls game. By the time you're at the endgame, you probably explored most of the continent and are level 150+. Fighting a squishy NPC mage at that point is going to be a joke for most people unless they intentionally made him as tedious as possible like the crow of cainhurst, king doran, or one of the many other annoying NPC fights.
He gets stronger the more bosses you kill.
Have you ever fricking fought him in higher NG+ levels? NG+2 and up virtually every single one of his spells will oneshot you even with 60VIG and max magic resist. Don't even get me started on his discs of light that apply multiple damage ticks. He's so insanely overpowered that he's the only boss I actually cheese with any exploit I can land on him
>Morgott and Gideon both fought to the death to stop you from doing something they thought was impossible
Many such cases
I will go to the haligtree, and also brute force sex with a lich dragon
but fortisaxx is a boy, anon
I raped elden ring
elden ring is way better than ds2
Was madness instantly killing him intended? Because I spent hours just getting summoned so I could bully the elderly with israeli eye beams
>A TARNISHED CANNOT BECOME ELDEN LORD
then why is he trying to stop us if he's so firmly rooted in that belief
>I commend your spirit, but alas, none shall take the throne.
>Queen Marika has high hopes for us.
>That we continue to struggle. Unto eternity.
The truth, that Marika wanted to take the Elden Ring and rule forever in a world without the Greater Will or the Golden Order.
truth is elden ring story was fricking stupid
I like how they accidentally buffed him since he light rolls
nobody played elden ring for the story. people just want to see the different endings
everything, and nothing
finger my boot hole
That ending was cool
pity there will be no follow up to melina wanting to hunt you down
frick her
I will.
He had armor designed to accomodate a massive adult diaper, he knows everything.
THE
LOADSOME
he's covered in corns
Ralph?
https://voca.ro/1cOzPQn1VrM0
>My kid always asks to see the "mushroom guy" in Roundtable Hold
>Always says, "Guess he's still cranky, huh?" when he's gone threatening me.
Left wing culture war propagandists are currently claiming that the new Harry Potter game is funding genocide.
...and right wing culture war propagandists are currently claiming that the new Harry Potter game is funding genocide.
Name one (1)
have you not seen any Hogwarts Legacy threads? they just buy the game because troons kill themselves because of it
which is pretty fricken funny
>hoer ice stomp kills malenia pre patch
sorry wrong reply
of course you're forgiven, you silly goose
obviously he's just another tragically ironic souls character
been bitterly stagnant for ages
forced to learn from the player character secrets of the missing demigods and watch himself be surpassed to the rank of elden lord
rationalizes that he understands Marika and Godfrey's intent deeper than the player and attacks out of jealousy
It's a satire of the loregays
Souls isn't about endlessly pursuing trivial knowledge or secrets or trying to understand whats going on
wow you can actually understand the gibberish of the story?
what little there is
just like any good game. story takes second place to the game play
knows how to be the easiest boss in the game, holy shit what a curbstomp
How to get staggered and backstabbed infinitely
all of it
in elden ring you are the boss
>use inescapable frenzy
>boss dies in one hit
need more games that do this
>no fun allowed patch Inescapable Frenzy
>except for Gideon who it still one-shots for a different reason
lmao
It might be on purpose, honestly. Someone who's "all knowing" getting frenzied probably isn't a good thing.
Why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. He was probably working for Radagon anyway, and just keeping Radagon's secret.
He was done reading the Quran
Wtf am I supposed to do with all these runes?
>45 Vig
Fricking level Vig.
For what, I'm blowing through ng+ just fine
buy all boluses
then all bones
then all meats
then all throwables
then all smithing stones
then all flowers
then upgrade every item in the game to +9/+24
stock up on consumables you use often, like Strings. They are very important to keep a good stock on- oh wait
Buy 6 gorillion smithing stones for NG+
Gideon got jebaited by Radagon. he thinks Marika wants the tarnished to struggle eternally, but we know this is definitly not true because she tasks Hewg with crafting your god slaying weapon, and grace leads you to the flame of ruin. Radagon, (who's ofc now an aspect of Marika) larped as her and told Gideon to stand in your way as another line of defense now that his thorns had been burned away. people on /v./ talk all the time about marika's schemed byut no one mentions what a 4d chess conniving motherfricker Radagon is in service to his stupid failing order.