"Which historical figure would make the best dungeon master for a tabletop role-playing game, and what kind of campaign do you think they would create?"
"Which historical figure would make the best dungeon master for a tabletop role-playing game, and what kind of campaign do you think they would c...
i think he'd have an annoying, always correct DMPC leading the party and dragging everyone around
his players would probably be other historical generals who would turn to murderhoboism because it would piss him off and they'd find that hilarious
He never said that.
You dont know that
Unironically Kipling, Wells, or Verne.
Verne might be a bit anal about the math, but having a chill afternoon of Little Wars with Wells sounds awesome.
Kipling would be fun for an RP game but I think I'd prefer him as a player.
>t. never read any Kipling, Wells or Verne, but still using them anyway in extremely dumb attempt to sound refined
You should, they are great.
you use "t." To quote other people, not yourself
>dungeon master
Anyone would be as "good" as the other.
chauser
virgil
the brothers grim
socratese/plato
francis bacon
wittgenstein
saddam hussien
foucault
nick land
guy debourd
carl jung
cs pierce
delueze
karl marx
alan watts
alistair crowley
sir isaac newton
lord byron
that one japanese wandering monk
some zen master
benjamin franklin
grant
those dudes who wrote the vedas
shakespeare
james joyce
lewis carroll
jesus
>Playing at Carl Jung's table
>He asks for my character's alignment
>I saw "Chaotic Good"
>He raises and eyebrow and writes something down
>"When you see the hulking ogre it triggers a traumatic memory from your childhood. Roll me a Will save to not collapse on the ground crying."
zee animus has welled up within the collective consiousness of the group.
you muss machen zi logos check or be forced to confront your shadows.
please turn in your characters for extensive meta therapy.
He apparently likes japanese systems.
>Alan watts
>shows up drunk
>”I look at a cup-“
>”YES you do! But the cup looks at you as well! Perception is a silly thing, isn’t it? All we see and hear and smell; it’s illusion! And now the skeptic might say, ‘well I can touch and see the thing how ridiculous an assertion that it isn’t real, simply because we perceive it from two different angles’. Haha, but NONE of it is real. Your eyes are no more real than the cup! I recall an old proverb-“
>seven minutes later the entire table is asleep
>”So, is there anything funny about that cup?”
>”it’s empty.”
>he refills his scotch for the 8th time this session.
boudelliard is just laughing his ass of while painting minis in the corner
as alan watts goes off about the game mechanics of an illusion.
Crowley strikes me as a very magical realm kind of dude
You need to organize and partake in an orgy to cast even the most simple spells. Casting fireball requires you to dress up in a horse costume and ejaculate inside at least three femboys before lighting a goat on fire.
everybody just mimes everyone and they base their dice throws on pointing to some star in the sky.
You would end up being better person after playing with Jesus or Socrates.
Plato was that guy
jesus frequently forgets to make a day 0 and just starts while players are making character sheets.
plato and socratese fill out three sessions just with homebrew rules. nobody really understands their character when they start playing. but that may also be in part to the amount of wine they have.
>alan watts
i'd sooner kill myself than play with this dude honestly. same thing with Wittgenstein. Chaucer and the brothers grim would be cool tho.
H P Lovecraft
Mark Twain
Ernest Hemingway
Tesla
Saladin
Sir Terry Pratchett
Douglas Adams
>Mark Twain
You'd be up against his Isekai DMPC who's a Southerner who's rather happy that the place aknowledges the benefits of slavery but feels compelled to fight the existant system of slavery because none of the slaves on offer are black.
Machiavelli.
The Prince should be mandatory DM reading for better worldbuilding.
Tolkien would be a great DM.
He definitely doesn't railroad and respects the players decisions, while widening and deepening the world only where the players actually delve, which makes the worldbuilding feels more like a exploration than a parkride.
the only dm that forces you to rp your language proficiencies.
>two and a half hours describing geography
None of them, because they were too busy getting real shit done in real life.
people largely live mundane lives.
many heroic actions so descbtibed by the agents that carry them out were largely said to be mundane.
there is alot of greatness in banality as well as evil.
those that have eyes to see opportunity can act on it.
but great men are described becuase they seize a moment of greatness.
so i get your point, but i disagree that these people werent privvy to some parlour games back in their day
everyone says he's this great orator and charismatic leader but when I listen to his speeches it's all HEINEKLEINENARSHTENGARSHTEN can't understand a word of it
He was working with atrousicously sounding language and really tried his best using it. The skill and effort really shine compard to some of his contemporaries that worked with much easier language and mangled it beyond recognition.
Arthur C Doyle would be a pretty great storygame gm. And he even believed in fairies so he’d probably be down for some whimsical fantasy bs.
>we will defend Aurailond, whatever the gods may be
Was he dropping hints for future plot twists here?
>that worked with much easier language and mangled it beyond recognition.
Counterpoint: Winston Churchill was at least a talented wordsmith, whereas Hitler's Mein Kampf, quite aside from being a horrible screed, commits the ultimate sin of being *boring*. It is a slog to try and get through.
>Winston Churchill was at least a talented wordsmith
Churchill had little talent for public speaking, but plenty of determination to get it right anyway, being "often up late into the night working on his spontaneous wittiness for the next day." The only rhetorical discipline he was genuinely good at were insults.
... do you understand german at all?
cause weirdly the same shit applies to me when I listen to mussolini speeches. incidentally I don't speak any italian at all
Are you German? Because you’re missing the joke
Honestly Himmler would be pretty interesting. Not as charismatic but extremely schizo
Himmler would exclusively play 40k rpgs and sperg out hard if anyone joked about Dark Angels being gay or Space Wolves being furries
Nah, I bet he’d run a killer CoC campaign
Actually, Goebells might run a good one also. Esoteric shit but also more charismatic
His own, personal Jesus is even wilder than Supply Side Jesus.
Goebbels seems like the kind of guy who's use a campaign as a substitute for writing a novel, with a pre-written plot and all. I think Goering would make for a better GM than either Hitler, Himmler or Goebbels.
Stalin would be very serious about: "You die in game, you die for real." and constantly laugh and berate you for your failures.
Still better than Beria.
He just wants to rape any children in your family before he makes all of you publically admit that you are enemies of the state who need to be exterminated for the good of the proletariate.
Even the children.
Khrushchev would be an alright dm I think. he managed to live and get his position because Stalin found him funny. he was able to develop his humor around that for years, knowing when too far is to far and always seeking to please with the threat of death looming over him.
I think he'd do well in a lower stakes game.
Memes aside I think Stalin’s campaign would be pretty cool. He’d probably be pretty ruthless but would have decent amount of dark humour and plot points borrowed from life, from prison escapes to political intrigue
Other Russian leaders
Brezhnev would run a by the books plot wise but mechanically heavy game. Would make a better player
Putin‘s game would devolve into tangentially related history rants
Bonus round: Prigozhin would run a mercenary campaign. He already has experience tard wrangling so he has a headstart above the rest
The only living Russian worthy of being anybody's GM is Vladimir Sorokin. Dare you enter his magical realm?
I dunno, I'd play in a campaign GMd by that one Russian who came up with New Chronology, just to see what he'd come up. I'm not sure if he counts as a historical figure when he's IIRC still alive.
One by the ancient aryan astronauts (who were Russian all along) would be fun as well.
>check sorokin
>it’s the guy that wrote Blue Salo
New chronology is tame compared Slavic-Aryan Vedas. It’s basically Racial Interstellar Holy War
Search Pycь Beдичecкaя for some killer art
I'd also accept Victor Pelevin running a WoD campaign.
Postmodernism and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race
We must return to a time before a systematic study of roman history revealed that Satan's law has always ruled all of humanity and god's kingdom is indeed not of this earth.
woah, this dude is more schizo than i thought. i just thought he was a bitter manlet.
estorericism was huge when giebbels was growing up.
manly p hall, blatavsky, carl jung and mandalas. even all those magicians like houdini that incorpated alot of esoteric themes in their magic acts.
seances, ouji boards and crystals.
the new age shit was like pokemon when goebbeks was a kid.
this is utterly unsuprusing that germanic anglo saxons started getting deep into aryan, esoteric literature.
Houdini absolutely fricking hated esotericism though. Half of his career was mocking people that claimed they were doing actual magic.
having a western critic of esotercism like houdini speaks for itself.
It's kinda funny reading 19th century party trick books and having a formula of making wax sabots to get more oomph outta your gun being followed by a description of how to prime the attendants of a necromantic seance.
Homer.
the guy who always brings a sandwich plate to his sessions
I dunno, I have a funny feeling his games would be on rails, and if you got off the rails he'd get so mad he'd end up killing himself.
Pretty sure he wouldn't railroad too hard. Every game would be about "not Germany" though and evil hand rubbing wizards would be prominent.
He'd railroad pretty hard; the PCs are GOING to invade the eastern lands no matter what, even if they've gotten sidetracked down in the southern ones and are frankly enjoying themselves more there than they would out east.
He also completely lacks a sense of balanced encounters. His PCs would end up in over their heads in an unwinnable fight (not by Hitler's design, which is one thing; rather Hitler would just have no sense of what his PCs can and can't accomplish and would blame THEM for not being able to beat a CR 20 dragon at 7th level) and, when the party tried to run, deny them any escape and instead just kill them all. All while blaming them.
Alexander the Great would be a hilarious dungeon master
>okay you guys just cleared the rats in the basement and hit level 2, it's about time for your first legions, where do you want to source them?
>what do you mean you haven't considered global conquest yet, you wrote down on your character sheet you're already 26, right?
also it would be nice to see what someone who died young despite accomplishing so much thought about the world and it's true scale, imagine showing him fricking alaska
He'd go on with long loredumps, have npcs monologue endlessly and get mad if players tried to interrupt him.
Aleister Crowley would give you a deranged and weirdly horny campaign in his homebrew setting
Hannibal Barca would base his campaign on a brutal dungeon crawl through a besieged Rome
I do with Alexander the Great. He'd run the greatest campaign in history. Even though it was really his dad that did 90% of the work.
Which historical figure would DM nechronica though?
Gustav Meyrink would be my personal pick.
Kevin Spacey
>that meta gamer that min maxes himself into thinking the government is actually after him.
Pierre de Bayard, Gotz von Berlichingen, Godfrey of Boulogne and Richard the Lionheart.
GM is Dr. Oskar Dirlewanger and system is Vampire 20th Anniversary edition.