Which one would you rather be captured by?

Which one would you rather be captured by?

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  1. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Emperor's children. Unlike the delder, they will eventually let me die, and unlike the night lords, I might start to like it.

  2. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Slaanesh because I'm gay and I want to be a Slaaneshi cultist.

    I hope they capture me young so I can have a chance to become a Noise Marine....

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      >how anon ended as Emperor's Children servitor toilet

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      >is gay
      >wants to be molested

      Poetry

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        straightoids do too
        straight people literally fantasize about statutory rape

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          ara ara, miles teg-kun

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      maybe if you're like the most badass 12 year old on your planet, then you might get that right...

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Nightlords, yeah it will suck but the thing is yo will most likely die at some point with them which is far better when compared to the other two who have the means and desire to keep you alive forever

      slaanesh is the type that will force you to have straight sex, very traumitizing straight sex since you must experience every sensation

  3. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Emperor's children could kill you when they get bored of you
    >If you are lucky and are kidnapped by a group of NL similar to that of Talos, you could even have a better life than in a hive city or forge world
    >As for the deldar you have to commit suicide before they catch you
    I guess NL is the best option although it is very risky

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      NL. Even the most prolonged methods of torture from the night lords are only a second compared to the horror and longevity of deldar or EC torture. Theyre also far more rooted in the traitor camp over being pawns to chaos so they're not really getting anything beyond amusement or fear from others. They'll flay you but you're still dead at the end of the week.

      Most Night Lords ARE schizo. If you do subscribe to modern nushit with heckin Talossirino, then most of them will inevitably become bonkers due to Konrad's geneseed quirks. And they started getting bonkers en mass even before the Heresy.

      The chance to meet a sane-ish, none-sadist NL with any coherent plan is basically double the rest, which is still some fraction of percent.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        Nah, it's not them ebeing sane. It's the fact that their brand of crazy is just amused by torture, as opposed to literally fricking feeding off of it.

  4. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Emperor Children. I hope they have some futa daemonettes with big wiener.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      they do, but there's barbs that will turn your rectum into a flesh and blood smoothie.

  5. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    This is just me and my favorite homies armies doing the Dr. Livesey phonk-walk and everyone is like "oh geez, here comes the schizos".

    Which in reality, modern chaos marines act like second edition loyalist chapters.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Brown teenager YouTube comment post

  6. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    The Night Lords. As long as you're of use to them and obey their orders you can expect to live only a miserable life of servitude instead of an agonizing life of endless torture as some degenerate's plaything, assuming one of those Night Lords doesn't have a warp-induced schizo breakdown and eviscerates you just for being in his presence.

  7. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Night Lords, as cultists of Chaos Undivided, are the ones most likely to merely kill me instead of torturing me for a 1001 years because it gets their rocks off.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      From the anon summary of the Fall of Cadia novel. An Imperial officer gets kidnapped by Night Lord raptors:
      >-The 33rd Cadian regiment attempted to hold back the traitor horde. They fought well and with unwavering resolve. However, their high morale was due to the leadership of their old commander Deshane. When the Chaos raptors kidnapped the Deshane the 33rd regiment fought on to avenge the abduction of their commander. The raptors, however, were masters of their craft, and their craft was terror. They dangled the Cadian commander above his men's trenches, and Vox broadcasted his terrified sobbing and pleading. Then, they tore him apart, showering his men below with his blood and pieces until nothing remained but a red skeleton. Then, the traitor orbital fire fell on the trenches, killing warriors from both sides. The 33rd Cadian regiment broke and routed. They ran back to the walls with the Khorne berserkers on the chase, chainsawing any Cadian they ran down. The Cadians tried to get to the walls slab-hatches to escape the slaughter, but none opened. There was no escape.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        >he just got torn apart
        that is an incredibly merciful fate when compared to the other guys, he just got killed instead of being tortured for a millenia.

  8. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    NL. Even the most prolonged methods of torture from the night lords are only a second compared to the horror and longevity of deldar or EC torture. Theyre also far more rooted in the traitor camp over being pawns to chaos so they're not really getting anything beyond amusement or fear from others. They'll flay you but you're still dead at the end of the week.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      The Night Lords. As long as you're of use to them and obey their orders you can expect to live only a miserable life of servitude instead of an agonizing life of endless torture as some degenerate's plaything, assuming one of those Night Lords doesn't have a warp-induced schizo breakdown and eviscerates you just for being in his presence.

      Night Lords, as cultists of Chaos Undivided, are the ones most likely to merely kill me instead of torturing me for a 1001 years because it gets their rocks off.

      >at least NL kill you!
      Kurze had an entire room built out of screaming people sewn together and artificially kept alive forever by some archaeotech shit

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        that was mostly an exception, your average nightlord doesn't exactly have said tech for that type of shit anymore

  9. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Why does every single BL author make the EC camp gay

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Because they're gay?

  10. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Are the Tau an option?

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Yes, you get shared between all three in the OP's picture.

  11. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    The jannies hated him, because he told the truth.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      He preemptively deleted his post because he didn't want to risk getting b&

  12. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    The Ork Kommando, please

  13. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

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