>Worst thing to say the first time you see a new player at your table!
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Whose DND is it anyway.
>Worst thing to say the first time you see a new player at your table!
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Hey, didn't I see my wife's girlfriend's husband tongue your ass at that party the other night?
The age of consent in my setting is...
Well, what is it? My character is into 9-10 year olds so if it's under that it kinda ruins my character concept.
Do you Catan?
Motherfricker stole my line
Hi wow you are pretty
Can I watch you pee and will you marry me?
Whose turn was it bring dri,..oh
Your Tinder profile looked younger, and less overweight.
Say hello to my liddel fren
>The campaign was going great, until the rules lawyer tried to do this:
Used the low level disrobing spell from Book of Erotic Deeds
>Book of Erotic Deeds
Fricking pleb.
>He doesn't use the Book of Erotic Fantasy
If book of erotic deeds has spells for fricking, then wouldn't book of erotic fantasy have spells for thinking about fricking
Actually read the rulebook
Cast a second bonus action spell with Action Surge.
Nothing wrong with it insofar as the bonus action spell is a cantrip.
Re-read:
>a second bonus action spell
Can't be done. In 5e, you only have a bonus action to use if you have a spell or feature that says so, and you only get one per turn.
You also *must* use your bonus action to cast a spell with the timing of 'bonus action', meaning you cannot cast a bonus action timed spell with a regular "Action".
While Action Surge gives you another "Action", thus allowing you to cast a second spell on the same turn, "Bonus Action" spells, again, *must* be cast with the "Bonus Action", so Action Surge will not allow you to cast a second bonus action timed spell.
5e is fricking moronic.
Uuuuh,
did I win?
OK, kids, we have an actual honest to the whole pantheon rules lawyer in town, so let's get another scene out of the hat.
Let's see, this one says
>Your character just walked into the wrong tavern.
>Why'd you take me to a gaybar?
>I DON'T KNOW!
>be non-human dnd race
>walk in to /tg/ tavern
>Some ball of flesh with limbs holds up sign showing all non-human dnd races
>"We don't like your type in here!"
>rest of the bar meekly scream in agreement
>with a smirk the ball of flesh points at the door or at least tries to
>I leave to find a tavern that isn't a self-masturbatory echo chamber
>I fail
Man, this image has got to be 20 years old by now. I remember those freeform pbp campaigns that were everywhere back in the day.
>>Your character just walked into the wrong tavern.
Ow.
well I laughed.
lel
I was trying to make this joke, you were the better man anon
winrar
>This is a dwarf tavern! You better grow a beard and lose a few feet or those will be provided for you! Wife! Get me hacksaw, glue, and that old rug!
>walks into gnome-only tavern "The Wench and Wrench"
>"Hey shortstack, can you get me a tallboy of--"
Shouldn't have entered the tavern on the left.
Only one girly at the tourney?
"Hey, knife ear, you got the wrong door. The tree-hugger club is two blocks down."
Use his alignment language to hit on the barmaid.
Pointed out that the Warlock's Hold Person is a 2nd level spell, but was automatically cast at 4th level, meaning it is not automatically counterspelled. And also they asked to see the roll on the counterspell.
And shit... now my BBEG can't escape. Shit. Now my BBEG is dead. Shit. Now I don't have a campaign.
Pulled a rare misprinted edition from under the table.
Oh it's horrible! Thank god you're here "Anon who doesn't understand greentexting"
>Black person
>old enough to bleed, old enough to breed!
Ni-yi-yi-yi-yiiiiiiice pants!
I was once part of the letter h
"You look like a frickable cut of meat."
"Lets teach you how to make a 5E Character" *90 min*
if it takes more than 30 minutes to crank out the character sheet, you're moronic
ii have cerebral palssy so it does take me more than 30 minutes to write on out physically ironically enough
>Worst thing to say the first time you see a new player at your table!
"sorry bro I was on my phone"
>Things your girlfriend can say about D&D sessions, but not about you.
"That lasted longer than expected!"
"I was wondering whether my dad could join us tonight?"
I want to be the Warlock.
and now we have time to see
>An also-ran class which failed to pass the audition to be added to AD&D
>"I prefer not to use the term 'roleplaying.' It's a bit misleading. Really it's "acting!'"