>why have i burned your castle and its inhabitants? because I'd rather die fighting than to wait for my execution. It is in the human's nature to move forward and absorb everything, and to create the means to do so. You may be content and peaceful for a time, but you become greedy and cruel once you decide that is not enough, until nothing but humans is left. You dont deserve mercy because your own nature as a species will lead to the destruction of everything.
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 Ape Out Shirt $21.68 |
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>"I'm going to pass moral judgements that say genociding other species is completely justified because they'd eventually kill me later even though I'm only operating on vague suspicions and painting in extremely broad brushes."
It's cringe when HFY-tards do it and it's cringe when you do it too. Stab the idiotic dragon.
1. OP didn't imply that the dragon is in the right. 2. Dragons might have precognition powers in his setting.
>Have precognition
>See the future where humans kill you
>Preemptive strike the little rats
>They get pissed off and kill you
I'm down for this honestly. Self fulfilling prophecies are based
Based
>It is not by our hands that peace was sundered, it was not by our will that blood was spilled. Blather about whatever imagined futures you wish to justify your actions, the only monster here is you. If this is the path you wish to tread, so be it, you shall reap what you sow.
>Have at thee foul beast!
OP is a HFY-gay. OP's dragon is supposed to be a gurren lagann style enemy, where Humanity is justified in this action BECAUSE humanity frick yeah.
Are you new here?
"Hey, we are not destructive. It's not our fault that when we mate with other species, they usually turn into human."
Hey DM, can I roll to seduce the dragon?
I dont know
*can* you?
>Holy shit a talking lizard
>It is in the human's nature to move forward and absorb everything, and to create the means to do so.
as it is with *literally every other species that becomes successful enough*
This. Humans are actually the only species that can identify this pattern and stop it. People act like humans are innately Evil but they're also the only species capable of Good.
thats racist bro
>Every single animal species supposedly lives in perfect equilibrium with each other
>Only eating *exactly* what they need at the moment, never storing food ever, remaining on the brink of starvation for the good of nature
>Never outcompeting other species like some kind of ecological Harrison Bergeron
>Natural selection never happens, climate change never happens, and mass extinctions without outside interference never happen
This is what gaia hypothesis gays actually believe.
Wouldn't it make more sense that if gaia hypothesis was correct we'd be doing her bidding by freeing metals from the crust and increasing CO2?
>*mounts your skull on the front of the huntsman's hall*
>haha, and then the lizard said this, right?
>*sloshes mead down dragonscale tunic*
>he says "grrr humans would have-
>*chugs like a champ and belches loudly*
>humans would have killed everything else, so that's why I- OI WENCH, MORE MEAD
>*slaps wench's ass, gets a cheeky smirk*
>that's why I scorched this random NOBODY in charge of a couple farms by pity of the duke!
>*raucous laughter*
>so my lads and I launch SHWOOM a ballista bolt up it's shitter
>*chugs entire flagon*
>and OOOOooooh, did it squeal like a stuck pig! Haha!
>anyway, that's the story of how the lads and I are plowing fine elven puss tonight
cringe
Yeah moron, that doesn't really justify anything, now your execution has some early so good job
OK boomer
Some dragon may be of thinking they are smarter than me. Yes, perhaps.
But I have yet to see dragon smarter than grapeshot.
>not smarter than grape shot
Now that's cannon!
make love, not war
>Ceiling
She's a literal flying creature, high ceilings are necessary
>Floor
Tiling is easier to clean than carpet or hardwood, and can also be an efficient way to heat or cool the home with curtains to let in or block out sunlight. Plus, kobolds need jobs, too.
>Moat
Knights are at their most effective on horseback, and a waterway will force them out of their comfort zone and make them easy prey for her mighty claws. Not to mention, having a water source will encourage the local wildlife to propagate and we'll be able to snuggle up to watch deer and stuff.
God, I hate women.
Hey cutegay, just wanted to remind you that you should seriously consider killing yourself.
>Bold of you to assume I'm human. You overgrown lizards were always full of yourselves, you make those knife-eared simpletons look humble in comparison. But I should be thanking you; one less obstacle in the pursuit of my mission. Your time will come, but I'll let you choose; die now, or die in a year when I complete my ascension to godhood?
I dont give a frick. Im not here to have an argument, im here to kill him. So i kill him.
>Preemptive self-defense
Hyper cringe.
/tg/ - Very Low Quality Fiction Writing
>you awaken from your regularly scheduled 400 year nap to find a bustling town that definitely wasn't there when you went to sleep has popped up in one of the valleys your mountain overlooks
>you hope against hope that it's elves or dwarves or even orcs, but to nobody's surprise you find it to be a new human settlement
>can't keep humans as cattle because they invariably get too big for their britches and get it in their head that they can either kill you (they can't), or frick you (they're actual vermin)
>used to always be the former, but most recent settlements have tended unnervingly hard towards the latter
>your regularly scheduled regional remodeling is once again put on the backburner because now you have to focus on pest control
>gotta be thorough too, you leave even one pair and in a century at most you start having villages pop up, and it sure as hell doesn't help that there's always the weird ones that frick off to the woods that you have to root out too
>you briefly wonder if it would be worth it to just get a gnoll breeding colony set up to deal with the humans, but then you remember that the last time you tried that they got wise and fricked the gnolls, and every now and then you STILL see a gnolling or two scampering about
>no, you know you're gonna have to do this the thorough, old-fashioned way
>little bastards probably don't even have gold on them either
>like goddamned bedbugs, I tell ya
>this time around they have these new explosive-based ranged weapons
>not a big deal, the small ones can't do a thing to you, and the big ones can be easily avoided
>mop them all up
>takes over a decade to find the last of 'em
>get some of your remodeling done, but can't finish before needing to sleep again
>wake back up
>look outside
>see this
>what the actual frick
t. Feuerschwinge
>start going to town destroying the human settlements
>they send their own flying devices at you, shoot them down with ease
>scorching and raising hell and slaughtering all of them
>then there's one that's different
>white and blue, its pattern doesnt match the others
>try to shoot fire at it, it weaves between the flames pelting you with a barrage of projectiles
>try to swat it, it quickly evades every attack
>starting to feel worn out, a hail mary spray of flame all over
>an explosion! surely you g-
>the flames are nullified around the radius of the explosion and the enemy is fine.
>get shot out of the sky, notice the foe isn't giving chase as you plummet, instead it is circling around collecting and seemingly absorbing loose scales that flung off of you
>see the foe shudder for a moment, a miniature version ejects from its core and hovers above it, fading out
>suddenly, the enemy turns towards you and begins advancing again
Nice
shut the frick up already dragon gay.
> "Just for making me listen to the bullshit, I'm going to turn you into a loincloth."
> "Suck my taint, homosexual."
Are you a dragon or an elf?
Why am I going to stab your ass? Because dragons burn shit and then give pretentious speeches. I will mount your ass on my wall, you scaled homosexual, and the villagers will pay me 3 coppers each to hump your corpse.
clearly, a lack of cuddling has sent this poor derg down the path of villainy.
Any dragon that feels the need to justify his actions is fricking moronic. You dont explain yourself to ants.
>I'm gonna lose so I threw a temper tantrum
Works if dragons are bestial and stupid in your setting, I guess.
The non-stupid way is to try using threats, promises, politics and gold to make an army/bandit group/disgruntled vassals/orc horde etc and cause way more damage than just blitzing the castle.
I do like the concept though
>"Nice self fulfilling prophecy, idiot"
Kill the dragon, and use that as cassus belli for a crusade to eliminate dragonkind.
this could actually make for a kino campaign
>amongst the supernatural beings stories and experiences about human expansionism and destructiveness are becoming more and more prevalent
>dragons and humans tended to keep away from eachother's territory since their would be always casualties on both sides, but a riled up young red decides to deliberately go for the first strike one day
>from that day on, the human-dragon war has officially been started by one of the mightiest human kindoms
>the PC group starts with being called to join a great crusade against a big nest
>over the course of the game, more and more of the land is destroyed by dragonbreath and human magic and machinery
>other supernatural being get dragged into the war, some trying to negotiate a peace treaty to prevent further collateral damage, others joining one of the warring sides
>no one is interested in deescalation with both sides become more hurt and fanatic by the day
>great campaign climax is humans and dragons setting up rituals of mass-destruction that set magical fire to the entire continent
>only the PC party and some refugees make it to an uninhabited island that has been spared by the ongoing madness
>there, they meet a larger group of young dragons that have also tried to escape destruction
That does sound dope as frick, but you'd have to make it ambiguous who attacked first, accusations and propaganda should be flying from both sides.
>sequel campaign
>everyone is some manner of half-dragon
>Semi-imortal being
>Some settings have this creatures on the same power level of some gods
>Complains about human greed while dragons are renowned for hoarding treasure just for the sake of "shinny thing cool"
>Giant fire breathing sem-imortal clad on thick scales lizard than can fly complaining that humans are dangerous
>Mfw
Honestly makes for a somewhat interesting flawed villain. I'm tired of villains that make sense or have some tragic backstory, I want a powerful monster with an alien selfish mindset.
I HATE TALKING DRAGONS!
I HATE TALKING DRAGONS!
>why have we burned your lair and its inhabitants? because we’d rather die fighting than to wait for our executions. It is in the dragon's nature to move forward, steal, and horde everything, and to create the means to do so. You may be content and peaceful for a time, but you become greedy and cruel once you decide that is not enough, until nothing but dragons and their hordes are left. You dont deserve mercy because your own nature as a species will lead to the destruction of everything.
whoa... could it be... that humans and dragons... were the same all along???
Have you tried befriending these races you fear or even just showing up and saying "Hey, I live over that place. Don't get close because I don't like your kind and I wanna be left alone * beaths fire into the air *. See? I could level you but that would be pointless and a waste of life. Btw, anyone that comes close will get a warning and/or fricking die, depending on how much of a sin I consider them. I warned other villages, pass it around or face the consequences. Anyway, peace." ?
Feels like you're more an autistic manchildren with pretty words than an actual wise being.
too late, biplanes invented, dragon extinction commencing.
uhm... Actually we were looking for a crystal dragoness that has left our country's prince's pelvis in shambles. We thought maybe you knew some of the dragons passing through here
That's the exact excuse I'd give a dragon. It's violent, justified on assumptions resulting from centuries of experience, it's almost understandable but still outright evil. Great excuse for the dragon attack, and an even greater reason for players to kill the dragon. Thanks OP
Source?
not him but I found it, it's called Campisi
Thanks Anon, I'll check it out.
Ganker here. It's not what this crop makes it out to be. One of the last dragons returns in the modern day and makes peace with a fixer for the mob and spares that knight's descendant in exchange for destroying the true evil of the day, the ruling mob family.
It's a nice little 4 issue read with some properly intense dialog, but if you're looking for OP it basically completely subverts OP's post by making the fixer an actual somewhat nice guy and good negotiator who actually wants what's best for everyone, including the dragon, in a gruff hard-tacks way.
kay. Imma kill you now.
Well if I wasn't going to kill you before I certainly am going to now. Nice self fulfilling prophesy lizardhomosexual.
Name a more cringe doomer belief than muh "dark forest"
>start war
>lose moral high ground and get wiped out by an alliance, fulfilling your own prophecy
Sad, many such cases!
>wait for humans to attack
>kvetch with maximum vigor
>humans are shunned by the international community for being warmongering maniacs and eat shit from infinite gorillion trade sanctions
what a fricking altrighter chud
#notAllHumans
This dragon is an absolute moron. Not a single kingdom would be willing to let that thing live after it starts making preemptive strikes. Elves, Dwarves, Humans, they are gonna shove a lance so far up its ass it will look like a spitted pig.
if I was a dragon it would be easy to 1v3 their races. dragons are just moronic and prideful
Source?
I attack him while he's talking, let's roll initiative.
>why have I burned your castle and its inhabitants?
>I watched Attack on Titan and I thought eren yeager was very based.
nations have started wars for less reasonable reasons
*many generations of human-dragon love later*
>How do you frick a dragon? Well, that's simple: by being a dragon yourself.
Pathetic.
is this the guy who made the "in defense of pedophiles" video
>when you train the future paladin so hard he becomes a villain instead
always loved this one, because it makes abrahamic fundamentalists seethe
Humanity first, no exceptions. Doesn't matter who is right or wrong.
*schniff*
>But mein gott, what if the opposchit were true.
*pull shirt*
>What we schee here, is ideology manifescht. You claim that we are greedy and deshpotic, but mein gott, your layer is filled with gold and rather than aid in the deshtructive liberation brought forward through revolution,
*schniff*
>you deschide.. *uhgh* to go about imposhing your own tyranny, which ishn't even getting into the fact that with the ambundance of magic, the path to liberation may have been casht. >Hypocrite that you are, you will not be shpared from the Gulag (with a arcane human face).
>"But this just creates a self-fulfilling prophecy too."
>"The bridge is now burned before it can even be built. Time branches infinitely for every decision made and now you've cut the bough down before it had a chance to sprout. Now any other vision that may have existed can no longer exist as the remaining branches dictate a burning hatred of the very species you tried to snuff out."
>"In other words, you never wanted coexistence to begin with. I don't blame you for thinking that way, but that is the sincere truth."
The Axolotl pseudodragon has spoken.
I give him a shrimp as thanks for sharing his insights
He misses it due to his slow reaction time, and is now very confused
how big is the axolotl pseudodragon
Dumb dragon: spergs out and attacks everything that moves just like a shitbull
Smart dragon: puts thousands of years of knowledge to use, is considered a wise authority on many matters, everyone wants to be on their good side and be involved in whatever they are doing, cult of personality ensures that all needs are met without burninating the countryside and drawing the ire of nations
>then his sister gets eaten for the magical strength contained within her flesh and particularly her eyes
Oops!
I don't think Niv-Mizzet has a sister, unless he's cloned one himself.
>How human of you. Dragons are supposed to burn castles and their inhabitants because it is their nature. Doing so and calling it morality is something only humans would dare do.
No u
That’s beta green/white dragon logic.
A red dragon would just answer “because I felt like doing so”. A blue or bronze dragon would immediately try to impose a dictatorship over the town and rule it, while a silver dragon would just live in it and make his lair in some hidden chamber.
>muh rainbow dragons
frick off dndotard.
Considering what you could've been doing, just firebombing the occasional town is preferable.
works perfectly well to make smug murderhobos seethe. Having the world reflect player behavior will never not be hilarious
>why have i personally rennovated your castle and its amenities? because I'd rather ensure I die surrounded by friends than to wait for others to make the first move. It is in the human's nature to move forward and integrate with everything, and to create the means to do so. You may be strangers for a time, but you become locals and neighbors once you decide that is not enough, until nothing but bustling and friendly communities are left. You dont deserve rejection because your own nature as a species will lead to our combined happiness.
Wow. Op was r*ddit but this thread just keeps churning out gold.
Upboat.
Nice, very nice.
Dragons are symbols of the primitive savage world man must gain dominion over. Nature is primitive, savage, and responsible for most evil in the world. It is up to humans to overcome nature and ultimately do away with it, otherwise we would still be little more than dumb cave dwellers dying of preventable illness.
>Dragons are symbols of the primitive savage world man must gain dominion over. Nature is primitive, savage, and responsible for most evil in the world. It is up to humans to overcome nature and ultimately do away with it, otherwise we would still be little more than dumb cave dwellers dying of preventable illness.
I attack the lame dragon
So your castle got melted. Why? Please consult the criteria below.
>You done a expansionism
>You did a human nature
>You done a refusal to bend over for me
>You heckin disrespected the dragonerino
Fire is my weapon of justice, and my conflagration organ is my bullet. Pow.
FAQ
>So what does this mean?
The credit rating of your species has been decreased from AA to B-, and you are not allowed to exist in my presence anymore. Also you have been banned from holding gold.
>Why did you do this?
There are several reasons I may deem a village to be unworthy of existence. These include, but are not limited to:
>Your population growth is unsustainable for my continued comfort
>You got greedy
>You made the heckin dragon feel threatened
>Am I banned from life?
No, not yet. But you should refrain from commiting crimes against me in the future. Otherwise I may be forced to issue an additional scorched earth campaign, which may put your family and property in jeopardy.
>I don't believe my castle deserved to be melted. Can you help rebuild?
Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare instances will I undo a burning. If you would like to issue an appeal, tell the dragon cult what I got wrong. I tend to respond to the dragon cult in several months. Do note, however, that 99.9% of burning appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception.
>How can I prevent this from happening in the future?
Accept the burning and move on. But learn from this mistake; your behavior will not be tolerated by the ancient ones. I will continue to issue a scorched earth campaign until your conduct improves. Remember, life is a privilege, not a right.
I could actually see an older dragon putting this up on a stone tablet in front of its lair
Sorry, in my setting the dragons are biologically incapable of long term thinking, despite being otherwise completely intelligent
OK. Well, that makes the dragon worth a larger bounty.