Ya-hah! Avast, yee hooligans! For it is I, Prince Dagomir the Fifth, a 4th level Fighter, the mightiest of classes, with the deadliest of skills! I have tamed the mighty griffon with my steel, subdued the treachorous ogre of Mog-bire swamp, and defeated countless goblins, and even a few orcs along the way in my journeys! I have killed giant rats in old Gertrudes basement, bested highwaymen on my way to Parthoria, and even brought a bard to sing of my accomplishments in thy local tavern of fair maiden wenches! Of course they loved me, as all wench-folk tend to lovest thou, coveting thy mighty Strength rating of 14! Truly no man in the land can bring such coiled muscle to bare! The lord of the local kingdom holds me in highest esteem, even beyond his meager knights and even beyond is closest confidant, the Seer of Grachenspielenbergen. I hold no equals in the realm of mutual combat, you can be sure, for I have traveled the lands and nay come upon such a rapscallion as to tarnish my reputation, each one falling before my blade, or my wit. You stand no chance against my charms, bravado, or training! Give up now, or I shall end you, and make you hope that I end things quickly! What-say-you, brigand?
>Diplomacy roll to recruit him
I cast disintegrate.
>The seer of Grachenspielenbergen
You're in. Saddle up, partner.
I fricking kneel.
I have 7 strength and literally every one of my spells is dedicated to tricking people or making things.
If a fighter is saying this towards me, I either surrender, or play dead.
I look up at him while sitting on my bench with my four pals and say "What?"
What is his response?
JESUS CHRIST, IT'S JASON BOURNE!
>saves copypasta for later usage
I saw this thread in the catalog last night and gave it a little sincere smirk but now that I've read the whole OP I'm truly amused.
>Truly no man in the land can bring such coiled muscle to bare!
Daaaaaaamn, this homie got BARS
I kneel
>Speak Quotish, I can't understand a word of your Common gibberish, you boisterous buffoon!
Good sir, thank the divines you have chanced to travel through our meagre thorp! Prithee, a band of unrighteous and dastardly kobolds have made camp in yon forest, where once we menfolk did fell timber for the king! O, most brave and bold warrior, see fit to grant us thy aid in clearing such scoundrels from our lands, that we might once again toil in service to the king!
Thanks doc.
A-am I being mogged to deat
I get the feeling OP was hoping for more wizardposting and shitting on fighters by making a satirical post but he accidentally made something based instead.
My artificer offers his services but otherwise continues his journey
I ask him where I can get a pair of those absolutely BALLER fricking pants.
>be me
>go on adventuring quest
>hear someone rustling in the bushes nearby
>this dude jumps out
>somehow, for some reason, he has his own soundtrack accompanying him
Quick anons, what do I do?
>Prince who is fifth of his name
So why are you slumming out here?
>4th-level Fighter
Decently accomplished, but Name Level is 9th for a reason, get back to the grind if you want to earn your inheritance.
>Tamed a griffon
>Subdued an ogre
Pretty big deals, for you.
>Rats, Goblins, Orcs, and Highwaymen
Padding your resume with the bread-and-butter material.
>14 Strength
16.2% of the population will be this strong or more, it's at 16+ that it's enough of an outlier to be difficult to recall in a worth-mention settlement.
>Local Lord holds you in higher esteem than his knights
Probably more to do with the Prince thing.
Overall, 7.8/10 speech, but rather big-headed for someone only just making a name for himself.
What are his stats /tg/? We know he has a 14 Strength. He seems to have through-the-roof Charisma, based on his charm and ability to give impressive speeches, along with attracting a bard at his side. We know he likely has high Animal Handling skills.
STR 14
INT 9
WIS 12
DEX 11
CON 13
CHA 18
Posts like these remind me of old /tg/
>14 Strength
I'm going to die, aren't I?
Bet he's got a Daern's Instant Fortress which he plans to toss into your mouth if you get too close.
He has no visible equipment beyond his sword.
An instant fortress is a tiny cube he could keep in his pockets
What makes fighters the most commanding and regal of all classes?
Almost every king in human history was a fighter, but none of them were magic users
Wrong
It's the fact that they are clean. Anyone who does a dirty job but stays clean is a man to admire, it's that s8m0le