>You're a loose canon, Beryl!
>I got the Bard up my ass over that little magic missile stunt you pulled at the tavern!
>that's it, your robe and your staff, you're off this quest for good!
>and your other staff
 It's All Fucked Shirt $22.14 |
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It's All Fucked Shirt $22.14 |
I decline your proposal. Attempting do take my items would be a crime. I travel the same path as you and your opinion about this is irrelevant.
readlet
>'Jakov the Cryomancer'? Nobody's called me by that name in years. It's just Jake now.
>Is that so? Well, I can see the hunger in your eyes 'just Jake'. Plowing fields day in, day out... you and I both know this is no way for a Wizard of your calibur to live. One more ritual... like old times. Your college needs you.
>...Show me the incantation.
He say you brade runner.
Tell ‘im I’m eating,
Why the FRICK are Bards so op in games? Is it just a meme? Like "hey what if le music man was actually an unstoppable tank?"
In most editions they were mediocre to bad. It’s just 5e that made them good.
it's just 5e where they're a moronic do-everything class, they were given full casting, access to medium armor and a second attack with some subclasses, and have the only way of meaningfully interacting with the skill system with expertise.
in 4e they're a shittier cleric/warlord
in 3e they're a shitty class you just use as a dip to qualify for prestige classes
in 2e they're just a downgraded version of a multiclassed character
in 1e it barely exists
>frogshit
Still better than tons of other shit on this board.
>its a delayed blast fireball..
>how much time do we have
>uhhh.. RUN!
(jumping away from explosion)
>OOOHHHH SHIIIIIIIT
(Riding Cart in Pursuit of badguys)
(Bad guy jumps over canyon)
>You have feather fall memorized, right?
>Right?
>Hang on!
OHHHHH SHIIIIIIIT
>taking the robe and leaving the wizard butt-naked in the middle of the tavern
cruel
>angrily fold my robe & place my Stavesupon the chief's alter
>go home
>brood in the dark with a glass of conjured whiskey
>start divining with an old crystal ball cause I can't give up the case, even if 8ts breaking Magical law
>catch wind of something Going Down in Drowtown
>grab my enchanted tunic & cloak, it's no wizard robe but then, I guess I'm no wizard anymore...
>strap a bandilier of wands to my chest, two rods on my hips, take a few homebrewed potions of some real nasty stuff I cooked up in my garage
>I'm 10 minutes away from Drowtown my carpet, the average response time by the red robes is an hour at least, they never waste a teleport on Drowntown...
>it's time for vengence
>C'mon, we're almost to the Wagon!
>I ain't gunna make it..
>Your talking crazy! C'mon, get up!
>NO! You listen. I'll hold em off. Its the only way.
>(Nods Sadly)
>And Jhon!
>Yeah?
>You make it home for me!
>Melfs Minute Meteors
>You and I both know they ain't wasting no 5000 gold on some level 3!
>But.. But..
>No! You listen! We took on a level 9 module and made more in 3 minutes than we did in 3 days. I don't regrets nothin!
>Go! Use that scroll of teleportation and GO!
>Takes crystal ball
>I'm seeing.. I'm seeing..
>YOUR FACE! (SMASH! SHATTER!)
>Those are armor peircing fireballs!
>Teslonious, what are you doing, you can't cast chain lightning in here!
>You guys all cast levitate.. I got a job to do!