>Yes? Did you need something?
Alternately, some vague indication of being willing to dispense a loredump.
In either case there would be no way to engage further in any way.
PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP
GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT
I will be sitting in an ethnic restaurant, and I will make comments about how cute i think the waitress, who happens to be the owner’s teenage daughter, is.
The entire executive branch is hand-picked. Nineteen of the last twenty-three U.S. presidents have been members of the Trilateral Commission. The Trilateral Commission is financed by the Rockefellers and the Rothschilds. Don't tell me - >verification not required
>"Oh god, i can't remember my name! You sir, please help me! My name, whats my name! i can't remember!" >*prompt player to type in my name* >"oh yes, '______' that sounds correct! thank you so much kind stranger! Here take this, its the least i can do for your help. *gives you reward*
and then my npc has a name from then on
It says "gullible" on the ceiling.
You gonna finish that?
>standing in line blocking a vendor
I'll have uhhhhhhh, wait no I'll take the uhhhhhhhhh
>I heard that there is a legendary sword at the bottom of a volcano. I don't know if that's true though.
There is no sword at the bottom of the volcano.
There is only fire.
Increasingly schizo lines with every visit to the area, followed by vanishing from the game entirely at an arbitrary point. Possibly with at least one other NPC. No explanation would be given.
The entire executive branch is hand-picked. Nineteen of the last twenty-three U.S. presidents have been members of the Trilateral Commission. The Trilateral Commission is financed by the Rockefellers and the Rothschilds. Don't tell me - >verification not required
tHoSe cHesTs didN't belOnG to yoU... >eyes grow to black voids that consume my whole outline in black pixel shadow then creep along the floor and merge with protag's shadow >later my outline can only be seen in the occasional poorly lit room as a double shadow of the protag or black hollow eye reflection in a pool of water standing behind protag
>"Anon, I know I'm not alive and I'm not real, just a bunch of codelines and some png texture packs, but I still feel the need to tell you this: You are a good person anon, and I hope one day you feel happy about everything you care, and yourself."
>"Oh god, i can't remember my name! You sir, please help me! My name, whats my name! i can't remember!" >*prompt player to type in my name* >"oh yes, '______' that sounds correct! thank you so much kind stranger! Here take this, its the least i can do for your help. *gives you reward*
and then my npc has a name from then on
I comment on how I need to get a job done, but it's impossible while a certain quest is incomplete (can't do while an assassination target is alive, can't do it while a certain hostage remains captured, etc.), implying that I'd pay anything to get the job done once it's possible. Completing the quest immediately and permanently removes me from the game.
The secret to creating a good sauce is adding corn starch to a broth. Make sure to mix the corn starch in cold water first, otherwise it will clump. Then add some garlic powder, onion powder, salt, cayenne pepper, and oregano to taste. Now you have a universal sauce that works with every meal.
Depends on the game, but I'll go with some stupid non-sequitor that will have people arguing over "what did he mean by this" for years after the game's release.
>Boy let me tell you what. I guess you didn't know it, but I'm an RPG player too. And if you care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you. Now you play a pretty good character boy, but give this NPC his due. I bet a bag of gold against your soul 'cause I think I'm better than you.
[Truth-teller Timpson]
"I used to be an adventurer like you, then I grew up and moved out of my mothers basement. Now I have a real job, a real girlfriend and my life is so much better."
"Just so you know, you're wasting your time with this game. You should quit while you can and refund it."
Said only on the second time you talk to the NPC and only on the first save file created. It will never repeat unless you wipe your save data and fully reinstall the game.
look behind you
*performs pickpocket action on player character when they turn around*
*you've just pickpocketed an explosive with the ticking timer*
>you killed the player character along with you. You must now wait for the player to reload an earlier save
>Yes? Did you need something?
Alternately, some vague indication of being willing to dispense a loredump.
In either case there would be no way to engage further in any way.
"Ten dorrar get you evryfing you want"
My shop refuses to sell everything bagels because no one wants that residue infecting the other items.
PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP
GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT
Yipyipyip
>[incoherent rambling]
i no speck england
I will be sitting in an ethnic restaurant, and I will make comments about how cute i think the waitress, who happens to be the owner’s teenage daughter, is.
*moans*
This is very soulful tbh I want flavor like this in more games
FRICK
Black folk
Have you heard of the high elves
Drow may not be high elves, but they certainly are "high" if you know what i mean...
I don't, please explain
>refuses to elaborate further
>leaves
Stop looking at me, I don't know you!
>Let me tell you about the israelites.
what the frick immediately after reading this post
this was the first joke to pop in my head and i scrolled down to post it but i saw you already beat me to it
this place is really a hivemind
it's not you're just not funny or creative
kek, Doctor Murdoch is that you?
kek
>I heard that there is a legendary sword at the bottom of a volcano. I don't know if that's true though.
There is no sword at the bottom of the volcano.
There is only fire.
I would love to see this. Not all legends, rumors, etc are true so why not include a misguided scuttlebutt
>You can hear it too, right? When it's quiet?
There is no connection to any quest or secret.
>Rogan?
bye
>Watch the skies
OP is a homosexual
Got a light?
Have you heard of the High Elves?
Increasingly schizo lines with every visit to the area, followed by vanishing from the game entirely at an arbitrary point. Possibly with at least one other NPC. No explanation would be given.
“Should I buy a REGAL SWORD...?”
“But DEFence is important too...”
“Maybe a COPPER CUIRASS instead...”
“AAHHH! I just can’t decide!”
>Nice wiener.
>I AM ERR.
Oh Shit. I’m sorry.
Thank you, that's just what I needed to bust. AUUGGHHHHHHHHHH
Ambatukam! Ambasin!
hi
The entire executive branch is hand-picked. Nineteen of the last twenty-three U.S. presidents have been members of the Trilateral Commission. The Trilateral Commission is financed by the Rockefellers and the Rothschilds. Don't tell me -
>verification not required
Isn't this just a line from Deus Ex? Big if true.
*in a disgruntled and drunken manner*
You look like a troublemaker... I'm watching you stranger. Best behave yourself or you'll regret it
"Black person"
So… SEEN ANY ELVES? Hahahahahahahaha
"....."
Then later in the game I am just no longer there.
tHoSe cHesTs didN't belOnG to yoU...
>eyes grow to black voids that consume my whole outline in black pixel shadow then creep along the floor and merge with protag's shadow
>later my outline can only be seen in the occasional poorly lit room as a double shadow of the protag or black hollow eye reflection in a pool of water standing behind protag
I heard there has been some trouble up at Fort Frostmoth. Never heard of it? It's on an island called Solstheim north of Vvardenfell."
I would dismiss the player character with nothing but a simple *psshht*
I don't know you and I don't care to know you. Get out of my face before I slap you with heavy iron.
Sneed's Feed & Seed Formerly Chuck's
I swallow sludge to transform myself.
>"Anon, I know I'm not alive and I'm not real, just a bunch of codelines and some png texture packs, but I still feel the need to tell you this: You are a good person anon, and I hope one day you feel happy about everything you care, and yourself."
wtf is with that picture?
where are his legs?
'Heya'
*hums melody*
>...and kill that yankee soldier...
*continues humming*
>"Oh god, i can't remember my name! You sir, please help me! My name, whats my name! i can't remember!"
>*prompt player to type in my name*
>"oh yes, '______' that sounds correct! thank you so much kind stranger! Here take this, its the least i can do for your help. *gives you reward*
and then my npc has a name from then on
AAAAAA has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?
>"Thank you homosexual I'll use it well"
It says "gullible" on the ceiling.
You gonna finish that?
>standing in line blocking a vendor
I'll have uhhhhhhh, wait no I'll take the uhhhhhhhhh
"If you spoke to me, you didn't beat the game"
>hmm... no, you're not ready. perhaps we'll meet again, when you're more experienced
I comment on how I need to get a job done, but it's impossible while a certain quest is incomplete (can't do while an assassination target is alive, can't do it while a certain hostage remains captured, etc.), implying that I'd pay anything to get the job done once it's possible. Completing the quest immediately and permanently removes me from the game.
"7 seconds until the end"
I vaguely but prominently refer to a quest that was dropped during development.
>Youve got bills to pay and you're frickin chatting to me?
Where wyt wymyn at
"I find that if you're always pessimistic, you can never be disappointed."
I WAS LISTENIN'
The secret to creating a good sauce is adding corn starch to a broth. Make sure to mix the corn starch in cold water first, otherwise it will clump. Then add some garlic powder, onion powder, salt, cayenne pepper, and oregano to taste. Now you have a universal sauce that works with every meal.
Have you seen the prices of things these days? They’re insane!
>check prices
>exact same affordable RPG prices
>Lean in closely
PenisPenisPenis
Depends on the game, but I'll go with some stupid non-sequitor that will have people arguing over "what did he mean by this" for years after the game's release.
"We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children"
VROOM VROOM
RACECAR-JOHNNY NOOOOOOOO! YOU ARE DRIFTING TOO CLOSE TOO THE SUN!
"You ever heard of knocking?"
>Farts
May Neptune strike ye dead, Winslow!
You don't like my cooking, anon?
"Oh,don't be such an old b***h!"
They say it do be like that, pardner.
But it don't.
Most definitely don't.
You behind the computer, your a fricking homosexual
OP is a homosexual.
>GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH IASDIAHIDOSIDAHSODIAS
Some insane shit like Quarantine's npc
Howdy friend how can I help ya!?
>Despite making up only 13% of the population, blacks make up 52% of crimes.
What's the rumpus?
So moronic ESL hispanics are infecting this board now too?
>Boy let me tell you what. I guess you didn't know it, but I'm an RPG player too. And if you care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you. Now you play a pretty good character boy, but give this NPC his due. I bet a bag of gold against your soul 'cause I think I'm better than you.
FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN; RUN BOY, RUN!
>We have now talked [counter] times
every funny guy would talk to me 69 to 420 times
Despite making up only 13% of the population, blacks make up 52% of crimes
'Times really are changing eh?'
[Truth-teller Timpson]
"I used to be an adventurer like you, then I grew up and moved out of my mothers basement. Now I have a real job, a real girlfriend and my life is so much better."
Illusory wall ahead
HAR HAR HAR HAR
Why are you clicking on me instead of doing something more productive with your time?
>if you don't stop clicking on me, I will fricking smoke you!
I. Was walking here!
Your mother sucks dwarf wiener.
Welcome to Corneria!
My mother's my sister
> player hits ball into sand trap
> "no doubt about it - thats deep in the sand trap!"
THE israeliteS DID IT!
Siip huup
It is what it isn't.
This character was sponsored by thug hunter dot com.
"Just so you know, you're wasting your time with this game. You should quit while you can and refund it."
Said only on the second time you talk to the NPC and only on the first save file created. It will never repeat unless you wipe your save data and fully reinstall the game.
"Daily reminder that General Douglas MacArthur was right and we should have nuked Beijing in the 1950s"
Yeah life isn't fair, but neither is God. It's all by design you see.
"Hey there kiddo, you don't want to end up like me. So listen to drugs, don't do school, and stay in your parents. Or something along those lines."
“Like flies, we ignorantly chase the light.”
Flies don't chase the light you dumb frick.
>I'll sleep with your wife for some skooma.
I got my hands stuck in the bean cans
>"Hey, you just shit yourself?"
>"I think that's pretty cool."
Then I become uninteractable
Despite making up only 13% of the forest population, Elves reduce my profit margins by 52%
good
>yes I do hate the dark elves
are you one of those open carry guys? i respect that.
PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP
GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT
Skyrim is for the Nords
Do you get to the Cloud District very often?
Oh, what am I saying? Of course you don't.
>"Ambatukam... Ooooh..."
>This man seems to be hooked to a perpertual pleasure machine.
>Free him?
>You try tugging at the tubes or pressing any of the buttons...
>The machinery is all sticky and rusted.
>Best let the man be.
If OBS is detected as a process, yell 'Kill Black folk' until the game is closed
I scream "Allah'u akhbar!" and explode.
A bomb's a bad choice for close combat
Do you have a single fact to back that up?
Bad luck to kill a seagull
[facing a bird] "hi little bird"
You're not alexander
I fricked a she-elf once.
How'd you frick a shelf?
For Gomez!!
> See you later, alligator, In a while, crocodile, See you soon, big baboon.
>Oh, Hello. No,no that's OK it's real. Go ahead and stare.
Crazy? I was crazy once... They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy!
>"You spent [game clock] to get here. Sorry, but you get no reward. Better luck next time!"
Beware stranger, for these aren't maidens but duplicitous crossdressers
>why does an elf even have a vegana?
>like, what's the point?
Don't smash my pots, I keep money in them!
I was born at Tiananmen Square the 15 April 1989, you should look it up.
>"You can press the A button to talk!"
>you cant actually press the a button to talk
Don't apologize, you'll just make things worse