>came and went like a wet fart

>came and went like a wet fart
What went so very wrong?

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  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    movie critics shat all over it because they don't have stockholm syndrome for nintendo. There's a reason it flopped harder than a fish in nevada and was forgotten after like 3 days.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >flopped harder than a fish in nevada
      >1.4 billion is now flopping

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >b-but the yakuza bought a lot of tickets for their own movie. That's how you know it did well!

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >it doesnt matter that it made a ton of money, the movie flopped!

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        on Ganker "flopping" means "me and my friends didn't like it"

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >b-but the yakuza bought a lot of tickets for their own movie. That's how you know it did well!

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >it doesnt matter that it made a ton of money, the movie flopped!

        >b-but the yakuza bought a lot of tickets for their own movie. That's how you know it did well!

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Image
        Sensible chuckle.

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    it's objectively a very average movie, even among animated ones. it looks good, that's about it.

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Most streamed movie of this year? Yes, and that is not counting the millions of hours streamed last year. This is only counting this year alone and it's still the most streamed movie cumulatively so far.

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why did this movie make so many women horny for Bowser

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >bad guy with a sensitive side
      Women love that shit

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        but he doesn't have a sensitive side: he is completely insensitive to the feelings of others

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          He sings that song about peach
          Women love dangeous men but not too dangerous

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      anything resembling an animal is a hundred percent guaranteed to make at least one woman soak her panties

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        this is pure incel copium
        sorry women don't have to decide between "marrying the local loser with a minimum wage job" and starving to death

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          someone's feeling called out lol

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            you will never reproduce

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Wew.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >women
      Cmon now.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Why did this movie make so many women horny for a buff, strong, powerful, commanding man, the only male in-universe to have had sex- and a lot of it, as shown by the Koopalings?
      When I was a kid my parents rented Mario Party for me (9) and my older sister (12) to play together
      She kept trying to trigger Bowser events, I thought she was basically trolling.
      One night I walked in on her, she had set off a Bowser event and had soft-paused it by not pressing any buttons, and was jerking off rigorously (though I didn't realize it at the time, she said she has a "itch where she pee'd" and that "I'd get in trouble if I kept watching her". I was moronic and went back to bed. 5 or so years later I was watching porn and had a "omgwtf" realization)
      The chair she always sat in never smelled the same. To be honest I thought it was kind of stinky, but pleasantly intriguing
      She also always played Bowser in any spinoff that allowed it, like Mario Kart or the sports games.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous
      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Hot.

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Movies for children should be more interesting than Illumination slop

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Timeflopped just like mario wonder

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Mario is a video game that's fun because it's a video game. Who even asked for a movie?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Literally every kid. They love seeing things they already like.

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I like that Bowser was actually evil in this movie instead of being the goofy dumbass that some of the games portray him as. Was kind of refreshing to hear him outright say that he was going to kill people.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Personally I found all the death talk a bit like an attempt to be edgy which just seems really funny (in a stupid way) coming from Toad and DK.

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >wet fart
    >has Hollywood Pivoting into making Videogames movies because Capeshit has hit rock bottom.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I get that this is bait but it really is funny how there are "people" who genuinely believe that toddlerslop like this and botw are actually influential

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        If anything kids stuff are the most influential because they instill their influence on the next generation while they are still malleable

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    made a billion dollars and embarassed sony in another type of media

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It’s literally been the top 1-3 most streamed movie every week on every streaming service ever since it came out

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >trusting illumination to make fricking anything with cultural impact
    they spent billions marketing despicable me 4 making a bunch of zoomers pretend they gave a shit about it cuz its MUH CHILDHOOD. Sing and Sing 2 were accidents

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I hated that so much of this movie was obviously the result of focus testing. Every time I can just picture the American soccer mom clapping like a seal losing her shit over some unfunny joke while thinking about if her toddler would be offended and which 80s song she wants to hear in the background

  14. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Didnt they bring on Sweet Baby Inc for this movie?

  15. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >bonnie tyler
    >take on me
    >thunderstruck
    >seth rogens laugh
    >prequel story; blue mushroom, cat powerup
    >fire donkey kong
    >game references fricking spike from wrecking crew but Mario is just meeting any kong for the first time
    >the great kong army
    >le epic fahnny peaches meme song!
    >fred armisen makes cranky an old israeli man
    >seth rogen plays himself
    >keegan michael key does decent but im 90% certain his voice is digitally altered
    >jack black is just jack black but digitally altered
    >anya taylor joy as american white b***h with vocal fry
    >charlie day as himself(works decently well)
    movie frickin blows ass.

  16. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    why the frick didnt they make the dog in the beginning the Duck Hunt dog, it seems like such an easy slam dunk

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      More like slam duck oh wee oh haha ting tang walla walla bing bang

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        hell yeah

  17. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >What went so very wrong?

    blink. idk what ur smoking OP. Nintendo is laughing themselves to the bank.

    >>> SECOND HIGHEST GROSSING CGI MOVIE OF ALL TIME! <<<

    but ohnoze OP thinks it went 'very wrong'. surely the amount of money it made is unimportant compared to OPs opinion... /s

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