movie critics shat all over it because they don't have stockholm syndrome for nintendo. There's a reason it flopped harder than a fish in nevada and was forgotten after like 3 days.
Most streamed movie of this year? Yes, and that is not counting the millions of hours streamed last year. This is only counting this year alone and it's still the most streamed movie cumulatively so far.
>Why did this movie make so many women horny for a buff, strong, powerful, commanding man, the only male in-universe to have had sex- and a lot of it, as shown by the Koopalings?
When I was a kid my parents rented Mario Party for me (9) and my older sister (12) to play together
She kept trying to trigger Bowser events, I thought she was basically trolling.
One night I walked in on her, she had set off a Bowser event and had soft-paused it by not pressing any buttons, and was jerking off rigorously (though I didn't realize it at the time, she said she has a "itch where she pee'd" and that "I'd get in trouble if I kept watching her". I was moronic and went back to bed. 5 or so years later I was watching porn and had a "omgwtf" realization)
The chair she always sat in never smelled the same. To be honest I thought it was kind of stinky, but pleasantly intriguing
She also always played Bowser in any spinoff that allowed it, like Mario Kart or the sports games.
I like that Bowser was actually evil in this movie instead of being the goofy dumbass that some of the games portray him as. Was kind of refreshing to hear him outright say that he was going to kill people.
I get that this is bait but it really is funny how there are "people" who genuinely believe that toddlerslop like this and botw are actually influential
>trusting illumination to make fricking anything with cultural impact
they spent billions marketing despicable me 4 making a bunch of zoomers pretend they gave a shit about it cuz its MUH CHILDHOOD. Sing and Sing 2 were accidents
I hated that so much of this movie was obviously the result of focus testing. Every time I can just picture the American soccer mom clapping like a seal losing her shit over some unfunny joke while thinking about if her toddler would be offended and which 80s song she wants to hear in the background
>bonnie tyler >take on me >thunderstruck >seth rogens laugh >prequel story; blue mushroom, cat powerup >fire donkey kong >game references fricking spike from wrecking crew but Mario is just meeting any kong for the first time >the great kong army >le epic fahnny peaches meme song! >fred armisen makes cranky an old israeli man >seth rogen plays himself >keegan michael key does decent but im 90% certain his voice is digitally altered >jack black is just jack black but digitally altered >anya taylor joy as american white b***h with vocal fry >charlie day as himself(works decently well)
movie frickin blows ass.
movie critics shat all over it because they don't have stockholm syndrome for nintendo. There's a reason it flopped harder than a fish in nevada and was forgotten after like 3 days.
>flopped harder than a fish in nevada
>1.4 billion is now flopping
>b-but the yakuza bought a lot of tickets for their own movie. That's how you know it did well!
>it doesnt matter that it made a ton of money, the movie flopped!
on Ganker "flopping" means "me and my friends didn't like it"
>Image
Sensible chuckle.
it's objectively a very average movie, even among animated ones. it looks good, that's about it.
Most streamed movie of this year? Yes, and that is not counting the millions of hours streamed last year. This is only counting this year alone and it's still the most streamed movie cumulatively so far.
Why did this movie make so many women horny for Bowser
>bad guy with a sensitive side
Women love that shit
but he doesn't have a sensitive side: he is completely insensitive to the feelings of others
He sings that song about peach
Women love dangeous men but not too dangerous
anything resembling an animal is a hundred percent guaranteed to make at least one woman soak her panties
this is pure incel copium
sorry women don't have to decide between "marrying the local loser with a minimum wage job" and starving to death
someone's feeling called out lol
you will never reproduce
Wew.
>women
Cmon now.
>Why did this movie make so many women horny for a buff, strong, powerful, commanding man, the only male in-universe to have had sex- and a lot of it, as shown by the Koopalings?
When I was a kid my parents rented Mario Party for me (9) and my older sister (12) to play together
She kept trying to trigger Bowser events, I thought she was basically trolling.
One night I walked in on her, she had set off a Bowser event and had soft-paused it by not pressing any buttons, and was jerking off rigorously (though I didn't realize it at the time, she said she has a "itch where she pee'd" and that "I'd get in trouble if I kept watching her". I was moronic and went back to bed. 5 or so years later I was watching porn and had a "omgwtf" realization)
The chair she always sat in never smelled the same. To be honest I thought it was kind of stinky, but pleasantly intriguing
She also always played Bowser in any spinoff that allowed it, like Mario Kart or the sports games.
Hot.
Movies for children should be more interesting than Illumination slop
Timeflopped just like mario wonder
Mario is a video game that's fun because it's a video game. Who even asked for a movie?
Literally every kid. They love seeing things they already like.
I like that Bowser was actually evil in this movie instead of being the goofy dumbass that some of the games portray him as. Was kind of refreshing to hear him outright say that he was going to kill people.
Personally I found all the death talk a bit like an attempt to be edgy which just seems really funny (in a stupid way) coming from Toad and DK.
>wet fart
>has Hollywood Pivoting into making Videogames movies because Capeshit has hit rock bottom.
I get that this is bait but it really is funny how there are "people" who genuinely believe that toddlerslop like this and botw are actually influential
If anything kids stuff are the most influential because they instill their influence on the next generation while they are still malleable
made a billion dollars and embarassed sony in another type of media
It’s literally been the top 1-3 most streamed movie every week on every streaming service ever since it came out
>trusting illumination to make fricking anything with cultural impact
they spent billions marketing despicable me 4 making a bunch of zoomers pretend they gave a shit about it cuz its MUH CHILDHOOD. Sing and Sing 2 were accidents
I hated that so much of this movie was obviously the result of focus testing. Every time I can just picture the American soccer mom clapping like a seal losing her shit over some unfunny joke while thinking about if her toddler would be offended and which 80s song she wants to hear in the background
Didnt they bring on Sweet Baby Inc for this movie?
>bonnie tyler
>take on me
>thunderstruck
>seth rogens laugh
>prequel story; blue mushroom, cat powerup
>fire donkey kong
>game references fricking spike from wrecking crew but Mario is just meeting any kong for the first time
>the great kong army
>le epic fahnny peaches meme song!
>fred armisen makes cranky an old israeli man
>seth rogen plays himself
>keegan michael key does decent but im 90% certain his voice is digitally altered
>jack black is just jack black but digitally altered
>anya taylor joy as american white b***h with vocal fry
>charlie day as himself(works decently well)
movie frickin blows ass.
why the frick didnt they make the dog in the beginning the Duck Hunt dog, it seems like such an easy slam dunk
More like slam duck oh wee oh haha ting tang walla walla bing bang
hell yeah
>What went so very wrong?
blink. idk what ur smoking OP. Nintendo is laughing themselves to the bank.
>>> SECOND HIGHEST GROSSING CGI MOVIE OF ALL TIME! <<<
but ohnoze OP thinks it went 'very wrong'. surely the amount of money it made is unimportant compared to OPs opinion... /s